The Hangover Part II (2011)

Ed Helms: Stu

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Stu Price : [to the lyrics of "Allentown"]  Well, we're living here in Alan Town / And he's driven our lives into the ground / When we woke up we were wasted and drunk / Phil got shot... / We got beaten by a monk... / I was happy and my life was good / Getting married like a dentist should / Roasting marshmallows on a stick / I got fucked in the ass... / By a girl with a dick...

  Alan : Ha ha ha, I remember that.

  Stu Price : And we're living here in Alan Town / But they're taking Teddy's finger now... / And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my shit /... and shoot Alan in the face /... and shoot myself.

  Alan : You totally butchered that song.

  Stu Price : You totally butchered my life.

• Stu Price : Woah! Here's the deal man, I got a dark side. There's a demon in me.

  Alan : It's true, he has semen in him.

  Stu Price : I said demon.

  Alan : But you also have semen in you remember, from the...

  Stu Price : It's not relevant, but thank you Alan.

• Stu Price : YOU'RE THE BEARDED DEVIL!

  Alan : You liked it! You smiled at me when I held up the bag of marshmallows!

  Stu Price : BECAUSE I LIKE MARSHMALLOWS, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!

• Alan : My uncle Roger says he saw an albino polar bear once.

  Stu Price : Really? Polar bears are white, how did he know it was albino?

  Alan : This one was black.

  Stu Price : Uh, are you sure it wasn't a black bear?

  Alan : [after thinking]  Whatevs.

• Phil : You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us!

  Stu Price : Oh, this will be good!

  Phil : Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a cunt!

  [Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks] 

  Phil : Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fuckin' Ihop!

• Stu Price : Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!

  Alan : We live an alternative lifestyle.

• Phil : Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?

  Mr. Chow : I a international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.

  Stu Price : You have a wife?

  Mr. Chow : Yeah, we married fifteen years. Whatsa matter, Mr. Chow not good-looking enough for woman?

• Kimmy : This one was following me like little puppy dog all around, all night, saying that he fall in love with me, asked to marry me.

  Alan : Classic Stu.

  Kimmy : I dance for him, he tickle me, we have sex...

  Phil : You're not married yet it's no big deal.

  Stu Price : It's cheating. No offense to you, you're a lovely woman, it's a violation of my moral code.

  Kimmy : What code is that? Stu you loved it, you were crying saying how special it was. I had to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.

  Stu Price : Load?

  Alan : What load?

  Kimmy : Oh you know, my sperm.

  Stu Price : That is wrong, you're talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?

  Kimmy : My balls. You're in Bangkok, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!

• Stu Price : We're looking for a little kid.

  Samir : Two thousand dollars

  Stu Price : Huh?

  Samir : Maybe more, I don't know. How young you want this kid to be?

• Grand Wizard : Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation.

  Phil : Did you understand a word he just said?

  Stu Price : Yeah I understood about two thirds. He said something about the Garden of Meditation.

  Alan : No he said he's farting because of his medication.

• Stu Price : [from trailer]  All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.

• Alan : You totally butchered that song.

  Stu Price : You totally butchered my life.

• Stu Price : [Phil pulls the prescription pad out of his pants]  Was this right up against your scrotum?

  Phil : Yup!

• Teddy : By the way, do you have any idea where my finger is?

  Stu Price : Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing monkey.

  [pause] 

  Teddy : Bangkok.

  Stu Price : Yeah, right? Fucking Bangkok.

• Alan : I'm so confused.

  Stu Price : I made love to a man with boobies.