Arthur Christmas (2011)

Ashley Jensen: Bryony

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur : [In Cayo Confites, Cuba, Arthur picks up Gwen's letter that almost got burnt because Bryony accidentally put it in a fire at the beach and realizes the picture is of Santa]  This Picture, This Drawing! It isn't of Dad, or You, or Steve! This is Santa! Ha-Ha! And as long as we can get the bike to Gwen before dawn, then Santa CAME! AND HE CARES! Ha-Ha!

  Arthur : [the Reindeer picks up the Slipper, Arthur picks up the bike and starts singing and dancing]  Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to reach Gwen Hines on Christmas Day, Wha-Hey!

  [the Boat on the island has been taken away by Arthur and he has written a message in the sand where it used to sit saying "SORRY I BORROWED THIS] 

  Arthur : [the next scene where Arthur is rowing Grandsanta & Bryony across the Atlantic Ocean, 3000 miles to Trelew, England]  Jingle Bells! This Boat Smells! Three Thousand miles to go!

  Grandsanta : [Arthur, Grandsanta & Bryony are in the middle of the Atlantic]  I've seen this before! Sleigh fever they call it! The Pressure of Christmas sends a man doo-lellied-tap! Santa Claus XVI of 1802! Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark!

  Bryony : [Arthur labours to row the boat across the ocean, he makes the boat jerk and soaks Bryony & Grandsanta with the oars]  Arthur! Do you really think you can row the Atlantic Ocean in the next

  Bryony : [Calculates the time on her HO-HO]  Thirty-seven minutes?

  Arthur : [Continues labouring to row across the Atlantic Ocean]  It's not too late yet! We just have to keep going!

  Grandsanta : We need a blunt Instrument, knock him out and then regroup

  Bryony : [Bryony's HO-HO claims that they are going round in circles]  You do know that we are going round in circles?

  Grandsanta : Do you know? We are not the only ones! Maybe I will see Evie again!

  Arthur : What do you mean?

  Grandsanta : Reindeer are brave, powerful beasts, but they are also dappled creatures with twigs on their heads! They will just keep going in straight lines right around the world. They will be way up in the sky, flying at unimaginable speeds, but they'll pass right over our heads!

  Arthur : Great! We CAN get the sleigh back!

• Bryony : [Gwen has just received her present, Arthur is now Santa, and Bryony speaks over the public address system in Mission Control at the North Pole using a HOHO, which is visible on the big screen]  Drop complete.

  [the L.E.D. display above the mainframe in Mission Control switches to green and shows 0000000000] 

  Bryony : And we have a new Santa!

  [Arthur peeps out the window] 

  North Pole Computer : [All of the elves in Mission Control begin cheering]  Christmas accomplished.

  Mrs. Santa : [Back up on the S-1 learning that Arthur is now Santa, having successfully delivered Gwen's present]  Oh, Arthur.

  [Pulls levers in the S-1] 

  North Pole Computer : [the elves continue cheering over Arthur, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays over the music system in Mission Control]  Commence decking halls.

  Peter : You know, I've always liked Arthur. Do you think he likes espresso?

• Bryony : [while running from authorities]  When you put the address into the HOHO, what did you see?

  Arthur : [Realising they are in Mexico after seeing a poster saying "El Burrito de Mexico" and seeing everything written in Spanish]  A list of Trelews, I just clicked on the first one!

  Bryony : Which was not Trelew, England. We're in the wrong Trelew!

• Grandsanta : It's Christmas!

  Arthur : Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it.

  Bryony : What, in the last six minutes?

• Arthur : [about the reindeer sign that they're taking]  So why are we taking it?

  Grandsanta : It's for Gwen. Eight beautiful reindeer. That's what she's dreaming of. The jingly bells, the sleigh on the roof. That's what the kids want, not some spaceship. We're giving her the star treatment.

  [to Bryony] 

  Grandsanta : What now?

  Bryony : [the owner of Leaping Dear Autos investigates what is going on]  We have a waker, sir!

• Grandsanta : [At the tractor dealership in Idaho, Arthur is trying to remove a golden reindeer from the "Leaping Deer Autos" sign]  Bash it with a brick, Arthur. Go on.

  Arthur : [Struggling to remove the reindeer on top of the roof]  It just won't...

  Bryony : I may just be a wrapping operative, sir, but this contravenes seventeen specific mission regulations.

  Grandsanta : I'm in charge here, not Billy the Bureaucrat.

  Arthur : [Almost removing the reindeer]  It's stuck.

  Grandsanta : [to Bryony]  Elf, wrap your head.

  Grandsanta : [to Arthur]  Come on, lad. You're as much use as a cheese chopstick.

  Arthur : Got it! Oh, no.

  [Gasps as he realises that the sign is only one side of a reindeer] 

  Grandsanta : Oh, my big Aunt Betty. It'll have to do. Pass it down.

  Bryony : [whimpering]  Permission to breathe, sir. I have about nine seconds left before I black out.

  Grandsanta : One breath.

  Bryony : [Seeing the lights in the tractor dealership owner's house switch on]  Sir?

  Grandsanta : [to Bryony]  I said one.

  [to Arthur] 

  Grandsanta : Hurry up, Arthur.

  Arthur : But don't we need a whole one? You know, to balance the sleigh?

  Grandsanta : Oh, it won't balance the sleigh. No, no. If anything, it'll slow us down.

  Arthur : So why are we taking it?

  Grandsanta : It's for Gwen. Eight beautiful reindeer. That's what she's dreaming of. The jingly bells, the sleigh on the roof. That's what the kids want, not some spaceship. We're giving her the star treatment.

  Grandsanta : [to Bryony]  What now?

  Bryony : [She whimpers through the wrapping and opens it]  We have a waker, sir.

• Grandsanta : [Arthur, Grandsanta, and Bryony have just left Idaho with the fake reindeer attached to the sleigh and they are halfway across the Atlantic Ocean]  Christmas 1923, had a heart attack at the reigns. Left ventricle popped out me mouth. Pushed it back down and carried on!

  [Arthur and Grandsanta chuckle] 

  Arthur : [Looks over the ledge of the sleigh and sees nothing but water all around]  It's big, isn't it, the Atlantic? Think we should stop and ask someone?

  Grandsanta : Pishywibble, we're nearly there!

  [Grandsanta points to a slow moving streak of light in the sky] 

  Grandsanta : See, I take the North Star there as a fixed point. Then I plot my bearings from, um...

  Bryony : That's a plane, sir.

  Grandsanta : Insubordination. I'll have you harpooned, elf.

  Arthur : [Looking down and seeing something that looks like a tropical island]  I thought it would be chillier near England.

  Grandsanta : Globular warming.

  [Sees land ahead and starts heading for it] 

  Grandsanta : Ha! Land ahoy! There it is. Told you!

  Arthur : [They land in Tanzania, Africa]  Wow. England.

  [a huge beetle crawls over Arthur] 

  Arthur : Yyaaarrggh!

  Grandsanta : Maybe we pullled to the right a bit. We're a reindeer short. France. Bonjour! Ou est la Boulangerie?

  Arthur : [Hears an elephant]  They have elephants in France?

  Grandsanta : The odd stray. They breed in the drains. This way. Buenos dias! Hola!

  [They look around and realize they ended up in some animal sanctuary] 

  Grandsanta : Paris Zoo.

  Bryony : [Lions get agitated and start roaring]  Then this is where they keep the lions!

  [Lions and other animals start marching towards everyone] 

• Bryony : [Arthur, Grandsanta, and Bryony have come down from the atmosphere and are gliding towards England]  They'll be waiting for us, sir. We were on the news.

  Grandsanta : All their technology against my Evie.

  Arthur : Oh, come on. Let's do it with worry!

  Grandsanta : Santa mustn't be seen, eh, lad? Let's give them something to shoot at.

  [Grandsanta reaches out and presses a bright red button and the sleigh transforms into a flying saucer look-alike] 

  Grandsanta : [the people at the military base gasp in awe, the sleigh has transformed into a flying saucer and has an alien symbol on it]  Take us to your leader. Ha-ha-ha!