The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Fear and Loathing in Vegas Stakes (2021)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd, Raoul Duke

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : We can't play this. This is Donkey Kong Country.

• Dr. Gonzo : [in Las Vegas]  Woah, they fixed this place up pretty good after that monster attacked. You actually saw that thing. Why don't you talk about it more?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [looking at the camera]  What happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas.

• Dr. Gonzo : Hey man, you scared off Spider-Man.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Holy shit, that was Spider-Man?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Wait a minute. Is that Lance Hendrickson? Lance Hendrickson is telling me to bet on red? Should I trust him? It is Lance Hendrickson.

  [he bets on red and the wheel starts spinning. The ball lands on black and the Nerd loses] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Wow, Lance Henriksen's an asshole!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : As we observed the various casinos, horrible realities began to dawn on us. Casinos are like video games. They're designed like labyrinths, such as Milon's Secret Castle, with no clear exit. Those gutless bastards want you to stay, to keep spending your money. They lure you in with bright lights, pretty graphics... like Road Runner. It looks nice, you get entranced, and once you're in, you're stuck with no clocks ore windows to the outside world. You're teased with near-wins and games designed to give you the illusion of control. Casino patrons are the same as video game nerds. You either waste your money on the slots and tables, or a shitty video game. In the retro age, we had no internet to tell us if a game was bad. It was all a gamble with higher odds to the house. Take, for instance, those heartless swine at LJN, the big proud golden nugget of shit. You place your bets on Jaws, Friday the 13th, and Back to the Future, but chances were you'd roll Craps. Was it possible that we've gone to such excess, that I couldn't look at any game without seeing an introspective nightmare?

• Dr. Gonzo : As your attorney, I'm advising you play Shaq Fu on the Game Boy.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : No more of that talk or I'll put the fuckin' leeches on you, understand?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : In slots, the watermelon actually looks like a watermelon, and not a severed crocodile dick.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : When you lose in poker, the winner says, "One day I'll write a book on 'How to Become A Millionaire'. I'll put you in the chapter called, 'Sweet Losers'". WOW! What a fucking asshole!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Somebody comes up to you and asks if they can hang around you. The options are "Sure, why not" or "Beat it, you loser". Damn! There's no option to dismiss the person politely? Might as well have, "Fuck off asshole" and "Witness your loved ones die in hell as their bloody remains get shoved up your ass by Satan as he tears your spine out through your dick while he..." Okay, that's enough.