Royal Pains (TV Series)

If I Were a Sick Man (2009)

Ezra Miller: Tucker Bryant

Quotes 

• Evan R. Lawson : Last night, I was at this club. I was hitting on the hottest girl there, like, by far, the hottest girl there - she's a model from Wilhelmina - and I was right about to close the deal, like, right, right, right there, and then she found I didn't have a car. You know what she said?

  Tucker Bryant : Now wait, now hold... You don't have a car?

  Evan R. Lawson : That's exactly what she said! Like, that's... even the way she said it! I heard that, like, three times last night.

  Tucker Bryant : Well, listen, Dad does a lot of business with Bridgehampton Motors. Tell 'em Marshall Bryant sent you. They'll... they'll hook you up.

  Evan R. Lawson : Really?

  Tucker Bryant : Yeah.

  Evan R. Lawson : Thanks, man. Wow.

  Tucker Bryant : No problem, dude. It was nice to meet you. I gotta go.

  Evan R. Lawson : Okay. You know what? Uh... Let me return the favor by dropping some of my lady knowledge on you.

  Tucker Bryant : Your lady knowledge?

  Evan R. Lawson : Yeah. Knowledge about ladies. Not just stuff ladies know. You know, lady knowledge. Yeah, I get around.

  Tucker Bryant : Without a car?

  Evan R. Lawson : Let's not dwell on that, okay? Let's just move past that.

• Dr. Hank Lawson : Why do you think Libby's cheating on you?

  Tucker Bryant : Because, after she borrowed my laptop, there were pregnancy websites in the browser history, and she's been moody, and she's been tired, and her... ches... tal... area... has undergone, like, an extreme growth spurt.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : And how is it you know these are pregnancy indicators?

  Tucker Bryant : From the pregnancy websites.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : You read them too?

  Tucker Bryant : Y'know, when in Rome.