- Alcide Herveaux: No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can just turn around and kick you right in the nutsack.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I don't have a nutsack.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [shocked] The last time I saw you, you asked me to marry you.
- Bill Compton: You did us both a favor by not saying 'yes'.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You have to say that... Someone is is listenin'.
- Bill Compton: Lorena, actually.
- Bill Compton: Look at your life since I entered it. I've only caused you pain.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [in tears] That's not true!
- Bill Compton: I am death. I will only bring you sufferin'. Our worlds are too different. Our natures are to. We were doomed from the start.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I don't believe you.
- Bill Compton: Believe what you want. You are no longer of concern to me. Do not try to find me. I do not wish to be found.
- [hangs up]
- Sookie Stackhouse: [sobbing] What does he mean he doesn't want to be found?
- Alcide Herveaux: Um, I think it means he doesn't want to see you anymore.
- Sookie Stackhouse: That's not what he said.
- Alcide Herveaux: Well, what do you think he said?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I don't know what he said. I just know that isn't the man I love!
- Alcide Herveaux: Well, the man you loved never even existed except in your head.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Is that supposed to be making me feel better?
- Alcide Herveaux: I don't know but no matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you!
- Sookie Stackhouse: [crying about Bill] He risked everything for me. This is way bigger than him breaking up with me.
- Alcide Herveaux: How many relationships you been in?
- Sookie Stackhouse: What does that matter?
- Alcide Herveaux: All I'm sayin' is there's no nice way of getting outta these things.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [leaning into him] Oh my god. You're so warm.
- Alcide Herveaux: Sorry.
- Sookie Stackhouse: It's okay. I'm just not used to it.
- Alcide Herveaux: It's a Were thing. We run hot.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I thought you were comin' down with the flu.
- Alcide Herveaux: ...You probably want some privacy.
- Sookie Stackhouse: That's the last thing I want.
- Franklin Mott: [glamoring her] Tell me everything you know about Bill and Sookie.
- Tara Thornton: [tranced] She says it was love at first sight.
- Franklin Mott: You don't believe that?
- Tara Thornton: True love? Hell no. People just get what they want and leave.
- Franklin Mott: And what does Sookie want?
- Tara Thornton: Quiet. Being a telepath gets real noisy. She can't hear Bill.
- Franklin Mott: Her brother, is he a telepath too?
- Tara Thornton: Jason barely knows what he's thinkin', let alone anyone else.
- Janice Herveaux: [after Sookie opens the door] You're Sookie Stackhouse? Thank you, Jesus. I mean I settled for a two-bit hooker to get my brother's mind off that bitch, Debbie Pelt. But you are cute and sweet. You're just what he needs.
- Deputy Kenya Jones: Well, I guess the only way to get a promotion in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate farm animals and kill a black man. Hey - promotion! Uh huh.
- Alcide Herveaux: What time you wanna head back to Bon Temps? Since you're not looking for that asshole anymore.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, I still plan on finding him.
- Alcide Herveaux: Okay, doormat.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I'm *not* a doormat. I just want him to say it to my face.
- Alcide Herveaux: What, he didn't hurt you enough?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I think he's in trouble. Maybe I'm wrong, but if he can look me in the eye and tell me it's over, then I'll leave him here to rot.
- Alcide Herveaux: You looking for closure? Just let it go, move on.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Says the man cooking breakfast in a wok because he's too sad to buy a new frying pan.
- Kitch Maynard: Come end of season, they'll be shouting my name, and they'll forget you ever existed.
- Jason Stackhouse: But 10 years from now, there's gonna be a version of you, 10 years younger, doing the same thing to you. And then who you gonna be?
- Kitch Maynard: [Lost] What?
- Eric Northman: I am who you want. But I have been framed.
- Magister: "Oh, you've got the wrong man." "My dog ate my homework." "I saw Goody Osburn with the devil." Excuses are one thing I can assure you do not get better with age.
- Debbie Pelt: You thought this knight-on-a-white-horse shit would work? With me?
- Alcide Herveaux: What have you done to yourself?
- Debbie Pelt: I finally got free of you. And I never been happier in my life.
- Alcide Herveaux: I still care about you. You go through with this, the pack will never let you back in.
- Debbie Pelt: I don't need your pussy pack. And I was fucking Coot when I was still with you.
- Alcide Herveaux: This isn't about us.
- Debbie Pelt: Like hell. You came here and brought this skank just to make me jealous.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Skank? Well, coming from you, that's just funny.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [as she tends to his wounds] Don't take it personally. The Were you were fightin' had vampire blood in him. Bill's in fact, so I know it's strong.
- Alcide Herveaux: Werewolves doing V? It goes against everything we stand for... the rest of the pack into that shit?
- Sookie Stackhouse: The one's who took Bill, at least.
- Alcide Herveaux: Like I need more reasons to hate them.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Is Debbie your ex-girlfriend?
- Alcide Herveaux: [reserved] My fiance. She moved out a month ago.
- Sookie Stackhouse: A month? And you still haven't gotten new furniture?
- Alcide Herveaux: Don't have time for it.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You ever... hear from her?
- Alcide Herveaux: My sister Janice does. She runs a beauty parlor. Debbie still goes in to get her hair done.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [asnwering the phone] Hello?... Hello?... Bill?
- Bill Compton: ...Yes.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Are you hurt? I know the werewolves have you.
- Bill Compton: Nobody has me. I have left my life in Bon Temps and I am leaving you.
- Sam Merlotte: [knocking on the van door] You're sleepin' in my parking lot?
- Melinda Mickens: We hadn't left yet because uh... well um, we got no where to go. We're a little behind in the rent. Plus our landlord got foreclosed on.
- Sam Merlotte: Oh, so that's why you came here? To eat me food and steal from me! Tommy tried to break into my safe.
- Melinda Mickens: Shoot! Somethime I think that boys cheese done slid right off his cracker! He does desperate things when we fall on hard times.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I called you 'cause I need to get into Lou Pines without standin' out.
- Janice Herveaux: You need to look the part. Well that is my specialty. How deep do you wanna go?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I wanna look like I could kick some serious ass, which I can.
- Pam De Beaufort: [over the phone] We're being raided.
- Eric Northman: So? Call the American Vampire League. They'll get their lawyers on it. I'm busy.
- Pam De Beaufort: [in Swedish] It's not the police. It's the Magister.
- Eric Northman: I'm coming there now.
- Pam De Beaufort: Don't be stupid. Leave while you still can. They're looking for the V, Eric. The Queen set you up.
- Sam Merlotte: When people come in, first thing count how many of them there are. More than two always gets a table, never the bar. Say there's three. Pull out one, two, three menus, and walk them to their table.
- Jessica Hamby: Well, what about the waitressing part?
- Sam Merlotte: Gotta be 18 to serve alcohol in Louisiana.
- Jessica Hamby: That is so not fair, I'm never going to be 18! And I used to be the best server at Archer's Pancake night.
- Sam Merlotte: Think you can handle it?
- Jessica Hamby: I'm a vampire, not a fucking idiot!
- [Turns to next group of customers]
- Jessica Hamby: Hi, welcome to Merlotte's, table Five's available, if you'll just follow me to right this way.
- [Gives Sam a look as she walks by]
- Sam Merlotte: Here, let me help you.
- Arlene Fowler: God, you wanna help me? How about doing your job, boss? Right now I'm a hostess, waitress, bartender, busboy, because everybody you hire comes to work whenever they fucking feel like it or ends up dead!
- Russell Edgington: "A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke." Rudyard Kipling. No Shakespeare, but less impetuous. And he never stole spoons.
- Arlene Fowler: A hostess ain't gonna help me with my workload. And she sure as heck ain't helping herself to my tips.
- Sam Merlotte: Calm down. I put an ad in the Pennysaver for another waitress. No one said anything about Jessica getting tips.
- Arlene Fowler: People love giving redheads tips!
- Arlene Fowler: You let in every stray, Sam. I mean, first that old dog, and then your folks, and now Jessica. I mean, it's your business. It's not a charity.
- Sam Merlotte: I can take care of myself. My folks won't be coming around anymore.
- Terry Bellefleur: You sure they know that? Because they're grilling in the parking lot.
- [Sam runs of to deal with this]
- Terry Bellefleur: One thing's for sure: we'll never be as bad of parents as they are.
- Bill Compton: Your Majesty, if I am going to sign my own death warrant I will need something in return. When I have fulfilled my duties, I want Lorena gone.
- Russell Edgington: Gone?
- Bill Compton: Yes.
- Russell Edgington: It is a punishable offense to kill another vampire.
- Bill Compton: Not if no one reports it.
- Anne: No point anyway.
- Bill Compton: What?
- Anne: Loving anyone, anything. Feels good at first, but it always turns to crap. I know the truth about life. It's a hell I'll never get out of alive.
- Bill Compton: No one does.
- Sam Merlotte: Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to give you a place, to stay, for now, till you get back on your feet. No more stealin'
- [gestures to Tommy]
- Sam Merlotte: , no more drinkin'
- [looks at Joe Lee]
- Sam Merlotte: or the deal's off.
- Melinda Mickens: I think we can manage that
- [Looks at her husband and son, gestures for Joe Lee to commit to Sam's requirements]
- Melinda Mickens: .
- Joe Lee Mickens: I don't see why not. Tommy? Think you can fly straight from now on?
- [Looks at Sam with a slight smile]
- Joe Lee Mickens: Supposed to be a joke.
- Tommy Mickens: Maybe I can.
- [Sam looks pleased]