- James Lipton - Host: I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up the subject of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
- [applause]
- Seth Green: This is so funny! Like, you just have to understand - we're on "Inside the Actors' Studio" and he's like
- [imitates Lipton]
- Seth Green: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
- [audience laughs]
- Seth Green: It was a rare opportunity for a goofy, awkward kid to play a guitar-playing werewolf rock star. I mean, that just seemed like... that seemed like a swing in the right direction.
- [laughs]
- Seth Green: I got to make out with girls and fire hand-held crossbows. It was pretty cool.
- James Lipton - Host: To what heights cannot a boy aspire in our democracy?
- Seth Green: See what I'm sayin'? And I got an action figure out of it, so, up high.
- [raises hand as if for a high-five]
- James Lipton - Host: In Family Guy, tell me, Loretta, how does a hot-blooded woman like you wind up with a peaceable man like Cleveland?
- Alex Borstein: [as Loretta] I think it's... ying-yang,
- [Seth bursts out laughing]
- Alex Borstein: opposites attract.
- [in her regular voice]
- Alex Borstein: He divorced me, though, it's over.
- James Lipton - Host: I know.
- Mike Henry: [as Cleveland, indignantly] You fucked Quagmire!
- Alex Borstein: [as Loretta] Well...! You gave me girth; I was lookin' for length.
- James Lipton - Host: You've said on occasion that you love God because he's so deliciously evil.
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Stewie; gleefully] Mmm, oh, he's a bastard!
- James Lipton - Host: Really?
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Stewie] He's a wicked bastard! The things he does; let me tell you. Have you read the Old Testament?
- James Lipton - Host: Yes.
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Stewie] Good Lord, there's some fucked-up shit in there!
- James Lipton - Host: [on Mila Kunis not being present at the taping] I'm talking of course about Mila Kunis; the wonderful irony of that role is that the exceedingly plain Meg is played by this exceedingly beautiful woman.
- [shows a photo of Mila]
- Alex Borstein: I'm glad she's not here; I look prettier.
- James Lipton - Host: For that matter, so do I.
- Himself - Host: And now the moment the students have waited for: what is your favorite curse word?
- Seth MacFarlane: "Jesus Christ."
- Alex Borstein: [happily] "Cunt."
- Seth Green: I'm a big fan of "motherfucker," but when Tom Hanks was on here, he reminded me that "horseshit" is fantastically useful. Because it sounds so classic - when someone's like "oh, blah blah," and you're like "that is HORSESHIT!"
- [grins]
- Mike Henry: A series of "fucks."
- [angrily]
- Mike Henry: "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!
- [quietly]
- Mike Henry: ... fuck."
- James Lipton - Host: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
- Seth MacFarlane: "I'm really sorry about all my followers."
- Alex Borstein: "You look much thinner in person."
- Seth Green: "You can slam-dunk up here."
- Mike Henry: "I never judged you based on all the shit jokes and all the muff jokes you told. C'mon in."
- Alex Borstein: [as Lois, giggling] It's not every day I'm on Lipton's show!
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Peter, to Alex] If you want to sleep with him, I will be okay with that.
- Alex Borstein: [as Lois] Really? He can be my freebie?
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Peter] Remember how we said "freebie"? Yeah.
- Alex Borstein: [as Lois] Really?
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Peter] Yeah, yeah. You get him, I get Bonnie Franklin. That's you. There you go. You are welcome. He's a classy guy.
- Alex Borstein: [as Lois] Okay.
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Peter] And I betcha...
- [to Lipton]
- Seth MacFarlane: I speak for you, sir...
- [to Alex]
- Seth MacFarlane: I bet he's gotta big dick.
- [audience laughs and applauds]
- Seth MacFarlane: [as Peter, to audience] What? It's - I'm a guest - I'm a guest and you're supposed to pay your host a compliment.
- [to Lipton]
- Seth MacFarlane: That is my compliment to you, sir, Mr. Lipton. I bet you have - you have a formidable penis.
- Alex Borstein: [as Lois, to audience] He's certainly not denying it, is he, folks?