- Quinn's Mother: I left your father. Well, I kicked him out. Turns out he was sleeping with this tattooed tramp. I want you to come home, honey. We can turn the guest room into a nursery... say something, Quinnie.
- Quinn Fabray: My water just broke.
- Artie Abrams: What's the point, Mr. Shue? Coach Sylvester's one of the judges, she's gonna crush us.
- Will Schuester: Artie, you don't know that.
- Santana Lopez: Yes we do, she told us at Cheerios practice.
- Brittany: Yeah, she said "I'm going to crush Glee Club".
- Sue Sylvester: I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a brier patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou!
- Artie Abrams: I had never kissed a girl before.
- Rachel Berry: I was getting slushied.
- Finn Hudson: I didn't... I didn't have a father. Someone I could look up to. Model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man.
- Rachel Berry: We don't care what the judges say. We won. Because we had you as a teacher.
- Mercedes Jones: And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Schue, because... you are Glee Club. And you're in all of us now.
- Rachel Berry: [inviting Schue to the auditorium] So, we have something we need to say to you.
- Matt Rutherford: In the beginning of this year, I was just another football player.
- Tina Cohen-Chang: I had a stutter.
- Mercedes Jones: I was a closeted diva.
- Quinn Fabray: I used to be captain of the Cheerios.
- Mike Chang: I was afraid to dance outside my room.
- Santana Lopez: I hated everyone in this club.
- Brittany: So did I.
- Kurt Hummel: I wasn't honest about who I was.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: I was tossing kids into dumpsters.
- Sue Sylvester: It's as barren as me in here, Will. Moving on to greener pastures?
- Will Schuester: Did you just come to gloat, Sue?
- Sue Sylvester: Mostly.
- Will Schuester: Well... congratulations. You got what you wanted. I should shake your hand.
- Sue Sylvester: Not unless you got some hand sanitizer. I've seen that car you drive. I don't want to catch poor.
- Will Schuester: Explain something to me. Maybe we weren't good enough yet to beat Vocal Adrenaline. Fine. But we were so much better than Aural Intensity.
- Sue Sylvester: Oh, William, I can't reveal how the voting went down. That would betray my sacred oath as judge or something. The results simply show the other clubs to be more deserving.
- [flashback, with Sue narrating in voiceover]
- Sue Sylvester: All I can say is casting my vote was easy. It reflected exactly how I felt in my heart about which team should win.
- [she votes for New Directions for first place]
- Quinn Fabray: Did you love me?
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Yes. Especially now.
- Shelby Corcoran: [approaching] Which one is yours?
- Quinn Fabray: What are you doing here?
- Shelby Corcoran: I see her now. She looks like you. Does she have a name?
- Quinn Fabray: No.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Beth.
- Shelby Corcoran: Pretty. I like that name.
- Will Schuester: Well, Sue, congratulations. You win. I lose. The kids lose.
- Sue Sylvester: I know you think I'm heartless, Will, and you may have a point. I spend large segments of each day picturing you choking on food. And I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that the two of us went to a zoo and I shoved your face into one of those pink, inflamed monkey butts that weeps lymph. And I know that you think I'm a bad person because I remain unmoved by your nattering of trite platitudes to your ill-shapen students about how the human condition can be improved by, yes, singing about it. And I've proven that I can wipe you and your Glee Club off the face of this earth. But what kind of world would that be, Will? A world where I couldn't constantly ridicule your hair. World where I couldn't make fun of you for tearing up more than Michael Landon in a sweeps week's episode of "Little House on the Prairie". And you know what, Will? Sue Sylvester's not sure she wants to live in that kind of world. So I had a little talk with Figgins.
- Will Schuester: We have another year?
- Sue Sylvester: You're a good teacher, Will. Now, I don't like you so much. But I admire you and the work you're doing with your kids. I really do.
- [offering a handshake]
- Sue Sylvester: Bon chance, William. I relish the thought of another full year of constantly besting you.
- Will Schuester: [shaking hands] You know, Sue, inside... you're a really good person. You have a heart.
- Sue Sylvester: Okay, let go of my hand.
- Will Schuester: Hey... I appreciate what you're doing for these kids. I won't forget it.
- Sue Sylvester: And I'm seriously going to puke in your mouth.
- Sue Sylvester: Newton-John? You're dead to me. Remington, Horsey, have a seat and listen up. I don't care who comes in first, I don't care who places second, but I have a very strong opinion about who comes in third.
- Rod Remington: Sue, if I may. That "Bohemian Rhapsody" had me a-movin' and a-shakin', and I'm talking old school. You know, I partied with Freddie Mercury back in the '70s, and I partied... hard, if you know what I mean. Back then, people weren't so obsessed with labels.
- Olivia Newton-John: I, for one, was offended that only one of the groups chose to honor me in song. I think Aural Intensity should win.
- Sue Sylvester: [Josh raises his hand] Yes?
- Josh Groban: Two questions. One, are you single? And two, how about those New Directions? I liked them. I thought they had a lot of... heart.
- Olivia Newton-John: Heart? Oh, please. Talk about blatant tokenism. That whole "we're inspiring, we're a ragtag bunch of misfits" thing is so 2009.
- Sue Sylvester: I couldn't agree more. Let's vote.
- Josh Groban: I thought that brunette had an amazing voice.
- Olivia Newton-John: Brunettes have no place in show business.
- Sue Sylvester: Come on. They're just kids.
- Olivia Newton-John: That's no excuse. By the time I was fourteen, I'd already formed a band. When Josh Groban was their age, he was already in the Mickey Mouse Club or something.
- Sue Sylvester: Well, as the only educator here, let me point out that not all kids are afforded the same opportunities as others.
- Olivia Newton-John: Is that what you tell yourself to get to sleep at night? Some people just simply don't have talent. You think you're a celebrity. You're not. You just try hard. That's about it.
- Rod Remington: Olivia Newton-John has a valid point here. You have a lot in common with those kids at your school, Sue. Underachievers with delusions of grandeur.
- Josh Groban: Dagnabbit! Now even I have to admit I'm a little confused as to what Sue is doing in this room. Wasn't the theme tonight supposed to be celebrity judges?
- Sue Sylvester: Kiss my ass, Josh Groban! I am an internationally ranked cheerleading coach!
- Olivia Newton-John: Who lives in Ohio. When this is done today, Josh and I are flying back to L.A. first class. You'll be staying here. Just like those kids. I think we've all made up our minds. Let's vote.
- Rachel Berry: Congratulations.
- Shelby Corcoran: Thanks, Rachel.
- Rachel Berry: But we beat you today. Jesse's a good singer, but you and I both know he doesn't have much heart. Vocal Adrenaline's best days are behind it. So I... I have a proposition for you. Come teach at McKinley.
- Shelby Corcoran: Excuse me?
- Rachel Berry: You and... and Mr. Schuester could be co-directors. We'd be unstoppable. There's so much that you can teach me. So much only you can teach me.
- Rachel Berry: Oh, Rachel, I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of coaching glee club. I want a life. It took meeting you to realize all the stuff that I missed out on. I need some balance, you know? I need a house and a garden and a dog, a f... family. I missed out on my chance with you, and it kills me. And I can't let that happen again.
- [understanding, Rachel turns to leave]
- Shelby Corcoran: Where's the rest of your team?
- Rachel Berry: They're, uh... they're at the hospital. Quinn had her baby.
- Shelby Corcoran: Is she okay?
- Rachel Berry: Yeah, she's fine. It was, um... it was a beautiful baby girl.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: [listening to Aural Intensity] A mash-up of Olivia Newton-John and Josh Groban. Are you kidding me? Somebody tipped them off about the judges.
- Rachel Berry: Guys, we can't get distracted by what the other teams are doing.
- Finn Hudson: We've just got to keep our heads in the game and focus.
- Santana Lopez: Even though we know we can't win?
- Will Schuester: [entering] Yes. If this is only about winning for you guys, then I owe you all an apology, because I've failed you. And we should just all go home, because it means we've already lost.
- Will Schuester: Nine months ago, there were five of you in here. And we sucked. I mean, we really sucked. Bad. One day, all of you are going to be gone. And all of this, all of us will be nothing but a hazy memory. It will take you a second to remember everyone's name. Someone will have to remind you of the songs we sung, the solos you got or didn't get. Life only really has one beginning and one end, and the rest is just a whole lot of middle. And I love you guys too much to let you not make the most of it. Now, I was gonna quit once, but you guys brought me back with "Don't Stop Believin'". It was a nine, but we are going to make it a ten.
- Rachel Berry: We're doing "Don't Stop" at regionals?
- Will Schuester: And then some. We are doing a Journey medley. Because who cares what happens when we get there when the getting there has been so much fun?
- Will Schuester: [the club is depressed that Sue is one of the judges at regionals] It took everything I had not to cry. It's like they've all walked a thousand miles just to get punched in the stomach.
- Emma Pillsbury: What exactly are you looking for from me here?
- Will Schuester: Some guidance.
- Emma Pillsbury: Do you remember when you were going to quit teaching and become an accountant, and I showed you that video of yourself singing at nationals, and you said that that was the happiest moment of your life? Do you remember why?
- Will Schuester: Because I loved what I was doing.
- Emma Pillsbury: And isn't that what you've been drilling into their heads all year? That that feeling is way more important than winning or losing?
- Will Schuester: Principal Figgins, I am begging you. Do not let her do this to those kids.
- Sue Sylvester: William, I resent the implication that I don't play by the rules.
- Will Schuester: You leaked our set list at sectionals, Sue.
- Sue Sylvester: I have no memory of that.
- Rachel Berry: [excited that Glee hasn't been canceled] Okay, you guys, I think this is the perfect opportunity for us to start rehearsing for next year's sectionals immediately.
- Will Schuester: Guys, you've all worked really hard this year...
- Rachel Berry: But I have ideas.
- Will Schuester: ...and you deserve a break. Take the summer off. Have some fun.
- Emma Pillsbury: [leaving Principal Figgins' office] It's so unfair. Will, your kids have worked so hard for this. Did you know he's already given you choir room to the Mock UN?
- Will Schuester: A deal's a deal. We lost, Emma.
- Emma Pillsbury: Because Sue cheated! She cheated, Will, and where do you think all that money's going? It's going right into her pockets! We just... we can't let her win this one! How can you just stand there and be so calm about this? How can you just give up so easily?
- Will Schuester: I've tried, Emma, okay? It... It... it's over.
- Emma Pillsbury: No. No, it's never over. I don't care what anybody says. Some things are worth fighting for.
- Will Schuester: You mean like the kids?
- Emma Pillsbury: Yes, of course.
- Will Schuester: Anything else?
- Emma Pillsbury: No. No. This is about the glee club. This is not about us.
- Will Schuester: The hell it isn't. I love you, Emma. There, I finally said it. And you love me, and dentist or no, this thing isn't over between us.
- [he kisses her]
- Finn Hudson: Hey. We need to talk. We had a chance of keeping it together at Mr. Schue's until you decided to bail. You're our leader, Rachel. And the... the way you're on everyone all the time is annoying, but it's also what keeps the club motivated. You and I are going to fix this. We're going to regionals, and we're gonna win this thing.
- [on impulse, she leans forward and kisses him]
- Sue Sylvester: Hey, buddy, see you on Saturday.
- Will Schuester: Wait. What?
- Sue Sylvester: At regionals. Didn't you hear? I'm one of the judges.
- Will Schuester: You cannot allow this to happen!
- Principal Figgins: It's out of my hands, William. I have no control over what the Show Choir Governing Board says or does.
- Sue Sylvester: Let me break it down for you, Will. It's been decided that this year's regionals will be judged by celebrities. And I'm a celebrity now, William. Now, I realize my cultural ascendance only serves to illuminate your own banality, but face it. I'm a legend. It's happened.