Community (TV Series)

Football, Feminism and You (2009)

Donald Glover: Troy Barnes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeff Winger : I'm locked out of my old kingdom. You're not. You see what I'm saying?

  Troy Barnes : You're saying I could be a lawyer.

  Jeff Winger : I'm saying you're a football player! It's in your blood!

  Troy Barnes : That's racist.

  Jeff Winger : Your soul!

  Troy Barnes : That's racist.

  Jeff Winger : Your eyes?

  Troy Barnes : That's gay?

  Jeff Winger : That's homophobic.

  Troy Barnes : That's black.

  Jeff Winger : That's racist!

  Troy Barnes : ...Damn!

• Annie Edison : Troy, I've been waiting for an hour!

  Troy : It's all right, I'm worth it. Hip, hop, body don't stop, Riverside got the broom, don't need a mop. Put your team in a box, put a ribbon on top, we're not John Kerry 'cause we don't flip flop. Say ohhh...

  Annie Edison : Troy. Why are you doing our politically conservative high school's shamefully outdated fight rap?

• Troy : Oh bing, bong, sing along. Your team's Al Gore 'cause your views are wrong.

• Jeff Winger : This decision has to be yours, T-Bone. And this decision has to be yes.

  Troy : How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?

  Jeff Winger : Because you're a football player and your name begins with "T." Your name... begins... with "T."

• Troy : Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?

  Jeff Winger : Look, you can meet them later!

• [Abed and Troy are playing with the PA system] 

  Abed Nadir : Announcement number one: All announcements will be cool starting right now.

  Troy : Announcement number two: Butt soup.

  Abed Nadir : Announcement number three: I am not Hadji from "Jonny Quest", Jeff Winger.

  Troy : On security news, you guys gotta start locking the dean's door, so guys like us don't get in.

• Jeff Winger : For instance, after the dean talked to you about football, you and I were thinking the same thing.

  Troy : [Face lights up]  That dude looks like Moby!

  Jeff Winger : We were thinking "What if Troy *did* play for Greendale?". You'd be surprised how many of your favorite football players started at community college.

  Troy : Really. Name one.

  Jeff Winger : Who's your favorite football player?

  Troy : Me.

  [Face changes to an astonished look] 

  Troy : Whoa!

• Troy : Greendale, we're number one! Nancy Pelosi is no fun!

• Jeff Winger : Let me tell you. little secret about me Troy. Every day on my way to school, I drive through downtown past the courthouse. Just to get a glimpse of the world I once ruled. And I just want to jump out of my car, run up the steps and... exploit the legal system for profit. But I can't, I'm locked out of my old kingdom. You're not. See what I'm saying?

  Troy : [Nods, gets a faraway look in his eyes]  You're saying I could be a lawyer.

  Jeff Winger : I'm saying you're a football player; it's in your blood.

  Troy : That's racist.

  Jeff Winger : Your soul.

  Troy : *That's* racist.

  Jeff Winger : Your eyes?

  Troy : That's gay?

  Jeff Winger : That's homophobic.

  Troy : That's black.

  Jeff Winger : That's racist.

  Troy : Damn!

• Annie Edison : And what does a star turn into after it collapses?

  Jeff Winger : A movie of the week.

  Troy Barnes : A black hole.

  Annie Edison : Right. Troy, you could be an astronomer.

  Pierce Hawthorne : As far as I'm concerned, there's only one black hole worth studying.

  [everyone stops and stares at Pierce] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : It's called Sagittarius A. It's located in the center of our galaxy and it has the density of 40 suns.

  [Jeff holds up one finger to signal 'wait for it'] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Just like my wiener.

  Troy Barnes : Troy: Ha-ha. You said "wiener." That's funny.

  Abed Nadir : Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.

  Pierce Hawthorne , Troy Barnes : Shut up, fart head. Will you shut up, poo-poo head?