Gossip Girl (TV Series)

They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They? (2009)

Taylor Momsen: Jenny Humphrey

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Gossip Girl : [voice-over]  Have you been so busy that you've forgotten what time of year it is? Let me give you a hint: couture, quadrilles and cutthroat competition. That's right. It's time for Cotillion.

  Jenny Humphrey : [her three minions tag along as she selects potential date from cellphone]  This guy's a foot shorter than me.

  Sawyer Bennett : Here's one that's six-two.

  Jenny Humphrey : Yeah, and he goes to York. That's practically a public school. Have I not impressed on you three how important tomorrow night is? It's my debut in society. I *have* to be perfect. And that means having the perfect escort.

  [scoffs] 

  Jenny Humphrey : I told you who I wanted.

  minion girl 2 : We tried...

  Jenny Humphrey : Well, try harder. Graham Collins is the hottest guy on the Upper East Side.

  Sawyer Bennett : There's, like, this bubble of perfection around him that we can't penetrate.

  Jenny Humphrey : You'd better figure out a way. Otherwise, tomorrow night I'm taking one of your escorts.

• Blair Waldorf : Who's your escort?

  Jenny Humphrey : Jonathan Whitney.

  Blair Waldorf : Your stepbrother's boyfriend. Do you remember who my escort was?

  Jenny Humphrey : Nate.

  Blair Waldorf : Jenny, when you descend those stairs tomorrow night, everyone there will judge you based on that moment for the rest of your life! This is not like your wedding day. Cotillion only happens once. Now, you already have one strike against you because of the whole Brooklyn misfortune. And add a B+ escort and top it off with a mentor who's known more for her mug shots and topless photos on the beaches than her social graces...

  Serena van der Woodsen : Okay, you're right, Jenny, you know, you shouldn't be caught between Blair and me. It's not fair to you on your big night.

  [Blair smiles] 

  Serena van der Woodsen : She can be your mentor. It's fine.

  Blair Waldorf : [sarcastic]  How selfless.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Actually, I'm working for Congressman Tripp Vanderbilt, and I should get back to that. But you have fun tonight. These are probably the last people in New York who still think you matter.

  [goes off] 

• Blair Waldorf : Jenny, you're lucky to have me. Don't push it.

  Jenny Humphrey : Your era is over. And so is that headband.

• Gossip Girl : We hear Jenny Humphrey has landed Graham Collins as her escort. Better put on that lip gloss, ladies. Looks like you'll be kissing Jenny Humphrey's ring by the end of the night.

  Jenny Humphrey : [surveying her devastatingly-perfect made-up face in the mirror]  Goodbye, Jenny from Brooklyn.

• Rufus Humphrey : [before the Cotillion ceremony]  You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

  Lily van der Woodsen : Yeah, well, it's a little late for that. You look beautiful, Jenny.

  Rufus Humphrey : I'm just saying, I'll always love you, with or without society's approval.

  Jenny Humphrey : Thanks, Dad, but honestly, I can't wait to walk down those steps.

  [melodiously:] 

  Jenny Humphrey : I'll see you soon.

  [hugs her chuckling Dad] 

  Nate Archibald : [as Jenny walks on her way]  Hey, Jenny, have you seen Blair?

  Jenny Humphrey : Uh, no, not yet. Fortunately. I'm looking for my escort, Graham Collins. He's, uh, sort of this year's, I guess, *you*.

  [snickers] 

  Nate Archibald : I'll take that as a compliment. Hey, have fun tonight.

  Jenny Humphrey : [melodiously]  Thanks. I plan to.

  [on her way again] 

• Jenny Humphrey : [to Kira, after Blair's plan backfired]  You really put yourself on the radar tonight. Better not make that mistake again, or you'll pay for real.

  [bumps against her shoulder as she walks past her]