How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
The Sexless Innkeeper (2009)
Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen
Photos
Quotes
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Barney Stinson : We're sorry we haven't been returning your calls, and we respect you too much to give you the old song-and-dance, so here's the truth. The US Navy has found intelligent life at the bottom of the ocean, and for reasons too complicated to explain, Robin and I have been chosen to lead the expedition.
Lily Aldrin : That's just like the kind of line you give your dates when you want to dump them.
Marshall Eriksen : But if it's true, that would be awesome.
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Lily Aldrin : [Standing outside their apartment] How do we know you two won't hurt us again?
Robin Scherbatsky : You don't.
Marshall Eriksen : You know what? We have two very nice people up in that apartment Who are perfect for us.
Barney Stinson : Then what are you doing, standing out in the rain with us?
Lily Aldrin : Damn it. Why is there something so attractive about a bad boy... And girl?
Marshall Eriksen : I think we can change them.
Lily Aldrin : Come here, you two.
[Group hug]
Barney Stinson : We'll never sleep on the Gouda again!
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[after the double date between Lily and Marshall and Barney and Robin]
Lily Aldrin : Nailed it!
Marshall Eriksen : Best date night ever!
[They high five each other]
Barney Stinson : [Outside the door] Worst night ever!
[Robin mimes shooting herself in the head]
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Marshall Eriksen : If I recall, they didn't dump us until you brought up that Vermont trip. It was way too early. First, a boat ride around the city, then a trip to Vermont. It's a rookie mistake, and you're better than that.
Lily Aldrin : Oh, what about you forgetting to check the egg timer for charades? I gave you one thing to do, Marshall. One thing.
Marshall Eriksen : [Offended] One thing?
[Lily nods]
Marshall Eriksen : One thing? Wow. Really? So, I guess that gouda Just walked itself right through the door... Sliced itself up, and arranged itself in a perfect semi-circle around not three, not four... But *five* different kinds of sturdy, cheese-bearing crackers?
Lily Aldrin : You're a sturdy, cheese-bearing cracker!
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Lily Aldrin : Game time. Let's review the flow of the room. Barney and Robin enter here. Stop here for margaritas. That's a great conversation starter. We can tell them about our trip to Cabo.
Marshall Eriksen : Great, 'cause I got that story about Sammy Hagar Anthe Belgian waffle locked and loaded.
Lily Aldrin : Then we'll move on to the hot apps station. And, depending on how things are going, Some lively pre-dinner charades.
Marshall Eriksen : Right, but, uh, we'll play that one by...
[Points to his ears]
Lily Aldrin : Sounds like?
Marshall Eriksen : Okay, you can be Robin's partner.