- An attack in the coffee shop leaves Nick and Angie in a disagreement; Lynette sues Carlos and his company; Bree bribes an ex-con to spend time with Orson; Susan discovers Bree's affair.
- Since there's been another attack in the neighborhood at the coffee shop, Nick and Angie disagree whether to turn themselves into the FBI or must leave Wisteria Lane with Danny before their real names are identified as the mystery to who they really are continues to deepen. But after Julie rejects Danny's advances, he attempts suicide by swallowing a bottle of pills. Meanwhile, Carlos fires Lynette after learning that she lied to him about being pregnant. But Carlos tells her co-workers that she's being transferred to Florida, and has them throw her a party. Lynette decides to hire a lawyer to sue her former company as well as the Solises. Elsewhere, Mike goes to pick up M.J. from a birthday party, but learns Katherine already picked him up without permission. Mike confronts Katherine after finally seeing that she's MORE sicker and insane than Susan and trying to destroy his life. But afterwords, Katherine gets attacked and stabbed. Is Mike responsible... or someone else? Also, Bree bribes an ex-con to spend time with Orson in hopes Orson will violate his parole and go back to prison. Susan discovers the truth about Bree's affair with Karl. Later, both women express their feelings while paired together in a self defense class.—matt-282
- An attack in the coffee shop leaves Nick and Angie disagreeing whether to turn themselves in; After being fired, Lynette sues Carlos and his company; Bree bribes an ex-con to spend time with Orson; Susan discovers the truth about Bree's affair.
- "Desperate Housewives" - "Would I Think of Suicide" - Nov. 29, 2009
The murder of Emily Portsmouth, the coffee shop worker from last week, spreads through the neighborhood and Mary Alice tells us the killer isn't finished as we see hands undo a piece of gum and lets the wrapper fall to the ground.
The ladies meet for poker but talk about the murderer instead. There's a newcomer we've never met. They wonder about protecting themselves. Bree pulls out her .38 special. The ladies decide on a self-defense test. Julie enters and Susan asks if she wants to join them. Julie points out that she was taking the trash out when she was attacked so if someone wants to get you, they'll get you.
Lynette and Tom talk about her lying to Carlos. He offers to give her a pricey bourbon to take to him as an apology. Lynette says Carlos will calm down, no worries. She arrives to a "bon voyage" party. She pulls Carlos into her office and he keeps up the front of sending her to Miami, trying to push her to quit. He says he's already given her job, and office, to Tim. She says if he wants her gone he has to fire her. He says no, not opening himself up to a lawsuit. She asks where her office is now and he shows her to a cramped storage closet. She is not amused.
Susan and Julie discuss Emily's death. Susan says Julie needs to tell the police about Nick. Julie swears there's no way he could hurt someone, much less kill them. She wonders why he'd attack her and want to get back together. Susan wonders if she has. Julie says she hasn't but if she was it would be her decision, her life. Susan says life was much simpler when Julie was 7. Julie apologizes for growing up.
Nick watches the news. Angie comes in and turns it off saying if the cops hadn't wasted so much time on Danny they would've caught the guy. Nick admits that he was Emily's last customer. Angie can't believe it. They're worried the cops will figure it out, come talk to him, and want to run his prints. Nick thinks maybe they should move. Angie doesn't want to give Fairview up, after 18 years on the run she feels at home, glad to have friends. Nick says okay and if they're lucky, since there were no witnesses, maybe the cops won't come looking. He wonders when their luck will run out.
Bree goes to visit a former friend of Orson's from the state penitentiary, Lamar Benjamin, who lives in a seedy tenement. They called Orson "flossy" in prison because he got them all floss in prison and nagged them to use it. They took it away when someone used it to strangle another inmate. Lamar asks after Orson. She says he's not doing so well on the outside and speaks highly of Lamar. He thinks that's strange since he used him as a shield in a prison fight one time. Bree invites him over. Lamar says that would be breaking his parole, to consort with another felon. Bree says she lives on a quiet cul-de-sac and they won't tell anyone and she'll pay him. She hands him some cash and says he'll get more after the visit. Lamar says okay but that she can't tell anyone. She promises she can keep a secret.
Karl goes to visit Julie with mint chocolate chip ice cream to make her feel better. She thanks him but admits she's stressed about the killer and that he knows where she lives and what kind of car she drives. Karl offers to switch cars with her.
MJ goes to visit Katherine and asks if she's okay. She says she's just having a bad day and that her life has gotten complicated. He asks why. She says it's grown up stuff he wouldn't understand. He says okay and starts to walk away but she calls him back since he asked. Later he repeats to Mike that Katherine says she's not getting any younger, it's hard to meet guys, and that Susan stole Mike from her which makes Susan a bad person. Mike is not amused and goes to confront Katherine. She doesn't back down and he says she's never really seen him get angry but if she wants to, she should talk to MJ again and see what he's capable of. Katherine says she loves MJ and would never hurt him.
Susan is driving and sees Julie's car at the Shangri-la Motel, which of course Karl is borrowing. She pulls in and calls Julie who is, and says she is, at the library. They have one of those sitcom misunderstandings and Julie hangs up.
Karl and Bree are getting ready to get it on at the motel and he's excited that they have the ex-con and the cameras all set up for the blackmail photos. Bree wants to make sure that the photos are strictly for blackmail. She says she may not love him anymore but she can't hurt Orson (or Lamar). She thinks he's mad. He's not he says it just reminds him why he loves her.
Susan comes in and asks the maid which room Julie is in. She's pointed in the right direction and peeks in the window and sees Karl and Bree.
Gaby goes to visit Carlos at the office for lunch. She passes Lynette's new office. She calls Lynette's new office comfy and tries to sneak off. Lynette asks Gaby to talk to him. Gaby says Lynette never told her and didn't trust her but now she wants her help? No way.
Parker, Danny, Anna, and Eddie all are hanging out at the scene of Emily's death. Julie arrives and says she didn't know her. Anna says she was nice. Parker and Eddie leave. Danny hangs to chat with Julie. Anna doesn't like this. Danny asks if she wants a bite to eat or to go to the funeral together. She says she can't hang with him. Because she slept with his dad? She can't believe he knows. He says he figured it out awhile back and is, like, totally cool with it, that's how much he likes her. She thinks that's freaky and says it's never going to happen and leaves.
Angie and Nick peer out the window at home. Nick wonders if it's time to "come in." Angie says "please tell me you didn't talk to them." He says he used a pre-paid and talked for less than a minute so they couldn't trace it. But now, she says, they know that they are alive. Nick says maybe the feds are ready to make a deal. Angie counters that she killed a man and they'll be ready to make a deal when she has a needle in her arm. A tearful Danny overhears all of this.
Gaby and Carlos are in bed and she wonders if Lynette really does deserve this punishment. He says she does considering the myriad of things that could have happened: bed rest, etc. Gaby says it may be time to do something they never do, forgive. Carlos softens and admits that he does miss Lynette and Tom.
Meanwhile, in the Scavo bed, Lynette is getting worked up in the other direction, saying the look in Gaby's eyes was one of "screw you" and that she called a lawyer and tomorrow she's serving Carlos with papers.
Angie comes in to complain to Danny about his chores and he's out cold on his bed, she finds a pill bottle.
The ladies, including McCluskey, Gaby, and Susan take a self-defense class. Bree arrives late complaining that she had three parties to prep for. Susan says it must be difficult juggling all her "affairs." McCluskey and Gaby partner up and McCluskey flattens her. Susan puts Bree in a chokehold, a serious one, and she says she knows about her and Karl. Bree says if she lets her go she'll explain. Susan talks about betrayal but finally lets her go. Bree takes her turn with the chokehold and says Karl is more than a fling and she's not giving him up and drops Susan. Bree leaves in a huff.
Lynette comes into the garage and tells Tom that the papers are about to be served but now she's having second thoughts. Tom backs her up and says they're not bad people, what Carlos is doing is wrong. At that moment Gaby shows up with baby gifts and says she and Carlos don't want to fight anymore and that they should talk and wants to not ever fight again. Tom tells her to remember she said that because as Gaby and Lynette hug it out he sees the lawyer show up at the Solis house with the papers. Lynette tries to call him off but is too late, Carlos is served. He calls Gaby. She answers, her eyes widen and she turns on Lynette and says she'll never forgive her and that the lawsuit proves that they're not really friends. Lynette trails her back to her house and says she needs to talk to her but Gaby says she needs to talk to her lawyer.
Lynette sits in her office and Carlos shows up with a project for her, with a lawyer in tow since they're all "lawyering up." She protests she was just protecting herself. Carlos drops off the department's purchases and expenses for the last year, he wants it itemized by the next morning. She says it's two days work and Penny's Christmas pagaent is tonight, which Carlos knows. He says too bad and the lawyer leans in with legalese about her not completing her tasks on time to her boss's satisfaction, clearly setting her up to start a file on her with complaints. She says she'll get it done.
Susan calls over and Bree and Karl and says she's putting aside her sense of rage and betrayal to help Bree. She says she wants to give Bree all the "Karl facts." They include that he forgot her 30th birthday, spent their tenth anniversary in a strip club, and wanted a threesome as a gift for his 35th birthday. Bree says she went into this with her eyes open and she believes him when he says he wants to change and so she's sticking by him since that's what you do when you love someone. Karl can't believe she said she loves him. Susan wonders if she's drinking again. She's not. Susan says okay then, it's hard to find love and when you do you should grab it and who cares what anybody thinks and she wants her to be as happy as she is with Mike. She gives her blessing. Bree and Susan hug. Karl says he's ready to change, that he's found the right woman.
Penny leaves for her pagaent and is sad that Lynette can't come. Feeling guilty Lynette goes with.
Angie and Nick are looking over Danny in the hospital. He's on a 72 hour hold, standard operating procedure for a suicide attempt. Angie rubs his head. Nick holds her and kisses her. He apologizes for calling the Feds, he says he was trying to make her life easier after all the things he's done to make it harder. Nov. 10, 1991, Angie recalls it was just a regular day. Then they went to meet "the others." And then 8 hours later neither of them existed anymore. She says she had to run but he didn't, she recognizes he gave up a hell of a lot so she wouldn't be alone. He says he would do it again, would do anything for Angie and Danny.
Lynette does her work. Carlos and the lawyer show up. She's almost done, she says she needs one more hour. He says he needs it now, 9. She says it was impossible. He says it wouldn't be if she hadn't gone to Penny's pagaent. He fires her. The lawyer tells her to clear out her stuff. Lynette says Carlos will regret this and that she won't go quietly. He says he doesn't care how she goes, just that she goes.
Danny wakes up in the hospital and the nurse, Mona, offers him some juice calling him Danny. He says his name is Tyler. She is confused.
Mike shows up to a birthday party to pick up MJ and the mother says Katherine already picked him up. Mike tears over to her house and Katherine is serving MJ a cake. She's holding a big knife. Mike tells MJ to go home, eyeing the knife. Katherine, teary-eyed says she had to talk to MJ, tell him the truth, that she and Mike had something real and that Susan lies to him. Mike, very cruelly, tells her what they had wasn't real, that all he thought about her when he was with her was Susan, every time he held and touched her. She holds the knife up to her own throat and says if he means it he should kill her now. He grabs the knife from her and drops it on the table saying he doesn't care enough about her to kill her.
Mary Alice returns to talk about danger, pain, and self-defense as we see Julie, in emotional pain, nervously getting into her car; Lynette in her office packing her things in anguish as she eyes Carlos; Bree overlook a chat between Orson and Lamar. She says we all try to defend ourself so we won't get hurt. Until we realize that our pain can hurt someone else as we watch Katherine call the police saying she's losing a lot of blood. We then see her hand pick up the knife - which now also has Mike's prints on it- and we hear a sharp intake of breath and the knife returned to the table, bloody.
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