- Tracy Jordan: I like to thank my creative team for coming in such short notice. Also, sorry I'm four hours late.
- Jenna Maroney: You've created two Lizzes, writer Liz and performer Liz. Performers need to be coddled, to be protected from the real world.
- Jack Donaghy: I get it. I must treat her like the New York Times treats its readers.
- Liz Lemon: Frank, you're in charge.
- Frank Rossitano: Finally, someone cool is in charge. My first order is to disable the firewall. Gentlemen, we can surf for porn again!
- Pete Hornberger: Boy, if this thing works it could be my ticket out. This job is starting to get to me. Lately I've been shoplifting just to feel in control. Because no one knows I took the candy bar. No one but Peter.
- Jonathan: Sir, a Mr. Adouche is on the phone? I. M. Adouche?
- Jack Donaghy: I am a douche?
- [winces]
- Jack Donaghy: Banks!
- [picks up phone]
- Jack Donaghy: What do you want?
- Devon Banks: Did you say it?
- Jack Donaghy: No, I knew right away.
- Devon Banks: Oh, sure you did.
- Tracy Jordan: I want a baby girl, Liz Lemon. I mean, havin' a daughter's like goin' to the NBA all-star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor.
- Liz Lemon: I don't want to do this show anymore! Shut it down!
- Jack Donaghy: I can't do that. If this thing loses money, I may as well let Banks play out one of his gay home-invasion fantasies on me.