- Claire Dunphy: [about her coupon gift] I was so proud of myself when I thought of it because you're impossible to buy for! You never want anything!
- Phil Dunphy: [Side Interview] Um, things I want: robot dog, night-vision googles, bug vacuum, GPS watch, speakers that look like rocks. I love my wife, but she sucks at giving gifts. I'm sorry for the pay-channel language, but - oh, yogurt maker! I can't *not* think of things I want!
- Jay Pritchett: All the grandkids are coming over for Jay's Night. Family tradition. Everybody wears p.j.'s, which they love. I make my famous Sloppy Jays, which are really sloppy joes but made my Jay, which they love. And then we all watch a Western together, which they don't really care for, but hey, it's Jay's Night.