- Sam Winchester: Oh, and Chuck, if you want keep writing Supernatural books, it's okay with us.
- Chuck Shurley: Wow. Really?
- Sam Winchester: No, not really. We have guns and we'll find you.
- Chuck Shurley: Uh no, there's really no such thing as a Croatoan virus for...
- [points to abdomen]
- Chuck Shurley: Down there, um... You really should see a doctor.
- Chuck Shurley: Ugh, I don't think the Benders made flesh suits out of all their victims. Maybe just, like, a couple scarves.
- [Dean pulls out his gun from its holster while talking to two hardcore Supernatural fans who are giving them a hard time and threaten them with a 'gun']
- Sam Winchester: Dean.
- Dean Winchester: What? They're freakin' annoying.
- Sam Winchester: What do you think?
- Dean Winchester: I don't think he's a good enough actor to be acting.
- [reading off a sheet of paper at the Supernatural convention: "The LARPing has started!"]
- Sam Winchester: Dad's journal: Dear Sam and Dean, this hotel is haunted. You must hunt down the ghost. Interview witnesses, discover clues and find the bones. The first team to do so wins a fifty dollar gift card to Sizzler. Love, Dad.
- Damien as 'Dean': You're wrong you know.
- Dean Winchester: Sorry?
- Damien as 'Dean': About Supernatural. No offense but I'm not sure you get what the stories about.
- Dean Winchester: Is that so.
- Damien as 'Dean': All right. In real life, he sells stereo equipment. I fix copiers. Our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean, to wake up every morning and save the world. To have a brother who would die for you. Well who wouldn't want that?
- Dean Winchester: Maybe you got a point.
- Hotel Manager: Look, i don't have time to play "star wars," guys. Go ask the guy in the ascot.
- Dean Winchester: Actually, we, uh...
- [Slides bill over]
- Dean Winchester: Really want to talk to you.
- Hotel Manager: [Chuckles] Okay, wow, you guys are really into this.
- Sam Winchester: You have no idea.
- Dean Winchester: What is wrong with you? Why in the hell would you choose to be these guys?
- Damien as 'Dean': Because we're fans. Like you.
- Dean Winchester: No. I am not a fan, ok. Not fans. In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks. It is not fun. It is not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send momst people howling to the nut house. So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement. I mean do you think they enjoy being treated like... like circus freaks?
- Damien as 'Dean': Uh... .I don't think they care, because they're fictional characters!
- Dean Winchester: Oh they care. Believe me. They care a lot.
- Sam Winchester: He..uh... he takes the story really seriously.
- Chuck Shurley: I'm going to start publishing again
- Sam Winchester: What - why - that's crazy
- Chuck Shurley: Well i have eat pay bills