- Kevin Malone: [Andy is demonstrating his talent for Southern accents] Oh, now do the Swedish Chef.
- Andy Bernard: I'm not familiar. What province is he from?
- Kevin Malone: He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.
- Jim Halpert: Once a year, Dwight holds a seminar updating us on the newest developments in the world of karate. Because, as we all know, the one thing that thousand-year-old martial arts do all the time is change.
- Dwight Schrute: You know what? You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize.
- Dwight Schrute: Voodoo Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the dark arts.
- Angela Martin: It's not my fault. I was exposed to "Harry Potter."
- Dwight Schrute: I know you did it!
- Dwight Schrute: [to the camera crew] I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.
- Jim Halpert: Okay, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.
- Dwight Schrute: That is correct, unless there happen to be measles present.
- Phyllis Vance: [in her game character] "I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept."
- [Michael gasps]
- Dwight Schrute: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm the butler. What, you were listening in on that? Oh, you rich people, you think you can do whatever you want to the servant class!
- Michael Scott: No, no, no. Don't turn this into a political thing.
- Dwight Schrute: I will poison your food.
- Angela Martin: Michael, I don't like this game. It's scary.
- Michael Scott: It's not scary.
- Angela Martin: I don't like my character.
- Pam Beesly: Who are you?
- Angela Martin: Voodoo Mama Juju, the witch doctor of the Savannah swamps. I'm not comfortable with this.
- [Shows a fake voodoo head]
- Pam Beesly: "My name is Deborah Utant, Deb for short."
- Andy Bernard: That's clever. Deb-utant.
- Pam Beesly: "Bill Bourbon was my uncle. I would have never hurt him any more than I'd hurt a junebug."
- Meredith Palmer: Nice accent. You sound like Forrest Gump.
- Pam Beesly: I do not.
- Andy Bernard: Well, you do. Actually, you've got this kinda like Florida pan handle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sort of spillin' out of your mouth.
- Pam Beesly: I think Michael may have snapped.
- Jim Halpert: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
- Pam Beesly: Well, which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
- Jim Halpert: Both. They're both worse.
- Michael Scott: Monkey see, Monkey do.
- Jim Halpert: That's right.
- Michael Scott: Monkey pee all over you.
- Jim Halpert: That... rhymes.
- Dwight Schrute: Someone attack me. Kevin, go!
- Kevin Malone: No way. Last time, you pulled my pants down and then tried to choke me with my own shoelace.
- Dwight Schrute: False. I did choke you with your shoelace.
- Meredith Palmer: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
- Dwight Schrute: Hey, shut up, you're dead.