Psych (TV Series)

The Head, the Tail, the Whole Damn Episode (2010)

Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shawn Spencer : You saw the knife wound, did you not?

  Carlton Lassiter : It looked like a knife wound and I've regretted ever since I've said it.

  Shawn Spencer : No! Don't regret it. Don't you see? This should be the best moment of your life! You should- you should feel liberated! In your guts! Because you're following your guts! You found the piece that didn't fit, and even though you didn't know how it fits, you announced it to the world anyway.

  Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, one loose end doesn't make it foul play.

  Shawn Spencer : It doesn't?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : How do you think we've stayed in business these last four years?

  Shawn Spencer : But what if it does? Lassie, we're comrades now. I do this all the time, I can walk you through this. This is just the weird part of the spit-out-a-crazy-theory process. You say it! Everyone thinks you're crazy, you're incompetent, you should probably color your sideburns

  [everyone looks at Lassiter's sideburns; Juliet nods] 

  Shawn Spencer : We're one in the same. We're Shassie now. We're Sharlton. We're Spenssiter.

  Carlton Lassiter : Oh my god.

• Juliet O'Hara : I can't believe I'm supporting this, but I have managed to secure a police boat.

  Shawn Spencer : Sweet. We can put our heads together, two mismatched partners on a harebrained adventure.

  Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, I want nothing to do with you. We are not compadres, we are not partners, we are not nothing.

  Shawn Spencer : Are we at least amigos?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Homeboys?

  Shawn Spencer : Platonic soul mates?

• William Tanner : [talking to Lassiter and Juliet inside Tanner's boat]  You're worse than that guy in the papers. What's his name, Detective...

  Shawn Spencer : [shouting from outside the boat]  Dipstick!

  Carlton Lassiter : [screaming back]  Not another word!

• Carlton Lassiter : Fishing is one of my top five skills, right behind profiling and ski ball.

• Carlton Lassiter : Well I feared it would be a Spencer that got to that shark before me, I just can't believe it turned out to be the other one.

  Shawn Spencer : I think I should be offended. Gus?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Compliment to you, insult to your dad.

  [to Lassiter] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Well executed, two fisted.

  Shawn Spencer : Nice Lassie.