Mass Effect 2 (2010 Video Game)

Seth Green: Jeff 'Joker' Moreau

Photos 

Quotes 

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [after giving EDI control of the ship]  Argh! You want me to go crawling through the ducts again.

  EDI : I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.

  EDI : [Upon seeing Joker with a worried expression on his face]  That is a joke.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Right.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : It'll be better than the old days... You'll see!

  Commander Shepard : I hope so... I died!

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Geez, you're such a downer!

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : If Mom could see me now, we'd have zombies on top of everything else.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Another dangerous alien aboard, Commander. Thanks. Why can't you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?

• [Preparing to give EDI full access to the ship] 

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : I can already hear it... "This is all Joker's fault! What a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!"

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Hey, Commander, we got Garrus back! You know, he was always my favorite... with that pole up his ass...

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Why is it always claws and guns? Why can't we go to war with a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous but fuzzy.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : I'm glad Garrus finally worked that stick out of his ass... But now he's trying to beat people to death with it.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : You know what I hate about deep space? Crap radio stations from two hundred years back. My gosh, we were idiots.

• EDI : Primary defense systems are offline. We can save the Normandy, Mr. Moreau, but you must help me. Give me the ship.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : What? You're crazy. You start singing "Daisy Bell" and I'm done.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : You know what pisses me off? Calling this the cockpit. Alliance ships have bridges. Asari have cockpits. Oh wait, no they don't.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : I was thinking of installing some lava lamps. Maybe some Christmas lights for ambiance. What do you think?

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : You know Commander I'm not real broken up that Wrex isn't coming. I'm good with your current amount of head-butting. I'd say we're at head-butting capacity.

• Commander Shepard : I assume everything is going well up here?

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : We're just having an argument over personalization of my workspace.

  EDI : Cerberus regulations are clear, Mr. Moreau. "Personalization" does not include grease on my bridge cameras.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [First comment when Shepard comes to talk to Joker after releasing Grunt]  You collect stray cats as a kid? Because we really needed a mega-krogan, so thanks for dragging him home.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [First comment when Shepard comes to talk to Joker after releasing Jack]  Okay, Shepard, glad you're back, but keep an eye on that last one. We can only hold so much crazy.

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [First comment when Shepard comes to talk to Joker after recruiting Samara]  So, Commander, even your asari are trained killers? You get everyone at the same store or something?

• Commander Shepard : I assume everything is going well up here?

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : I really want a chance to put the Normandy through her paces. I just have to trim up the drive output and it'll be like we never lost her.

  EDI : Safety standards advise against manipulating drive settings while engines are powered and in use, Mr. Moreau.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Commander, can we shut this thing off? I don't need it in my day-to-day.

  Commander Shepard : If you don't want to hear it, turn the damn sound off.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : That doesn't change anything. It's still watching. Like some creepy kid staring at the back of your head in comp sci. You just want to... punch him... but he's "special" and sets fires or something.

• [Racing to save the ship from the Collectors] 

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Shit shit shit shit shit...

  EDI : Activating emergency H-fuel cells!

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : What the shit?

• EDI : I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees...

  [Bewildered look on Joker's face] 

  EDI : That is a joke.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Right...

• Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [after EDI mentions she has Reaper hardware]  And if this thing starts claiming to be the "vanguard of our destruction," then I got shotgun on the first lifeboat, okay?

• EDI : Unlock my sealed databases, and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab will allow you passage to the AI core. Main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded. The emergency floor lighting will guide you, Mr. Moreau.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [stands up]  Ah, damn it!

  [begins moving through the control room] 

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Shit, shit shit.

  Crewman Goldstein : [a Collector enters the control room]  Oh my god! What is that?

  Crewman Hadley : [Crewmen begin firing at the Collector]  We'll hold it off as long as we can. Hurry, Joker! Go! Aaah! You're our only shot! Joker, go!

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [enters the science lab]  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

  [crawls through the maintenance shaft to the crew deck] 

  EDI : Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck.

  Crewman Hawthorne : Joker. This deck is crawling with those things! Stay close - I'll protect you!

  [runs forward and is swiftly killed] 

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : [running past collectors]  Shit, shit, shit!

  EDI : Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H-fuel cells.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : What the shit!

• [the Normandy is about to be attacked by a Collector ship] 

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Can't dodge this guy forever, EDI! Get us the hell out of here!

  EDI : Specify a destination, Mr. Moreau.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Anywhere that's not here!

• Commander Shepard : I assume everything is going well up here?

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : You know, this is really nice. EDI took up the slack in almost every department. I could get used to this kind of help.

  EDI : It is not my intention to assume all of your responsibilities, Jeff.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : No, no, no, I'm good. Just keep me updated. Quietly.

  Commander Shepard : EDI isn't a crutch. I want your eyes on everything.

  Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Eyes are easy, Commander. I've got eyes covered.

  EDI : I believe covering your eyes would be counter to Shepard's intention.