How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Playbook (2009)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall Eriksen : So Robin, do you have a playbook?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [motions at breasts]  Two volumes, right here.

  Ted Mosby : I've read them, it's a good read.

  Lily Aldrin : Yeah, I'm reading them right now.

• Lily Aldrin : I had Shelley reserved for Ted for three years!

  Barney Stinson : Well, he didn't miss much. She's brainy and whiny and boring in bed. Hey, maybe she is perfect for Ted.

• Lily Aldrin : Can you believe that? He blames me! Oh, and by the way, Ted, I bet she'd still go out with you.

  Ted Mosby : Hm. Let me think. Do I wanna go out with a girl Barney hooked up with? Guys, help me out with the harmonies?

  Marshall Eriksen : Sure.

  Ted Mosby : Hell no...

  Robin Scherbatsky : Hell no...

  Marshall Eriksen : Hell no...

  Claire : Hell no...

• Barney Stinson : Guys, code red, emergency, lockdown! Nobody's leaving.

  Robin Scherbatsky : What happened?

  Barney Stinson : I tried the "He's Not Coming", and it worked, gangbusters. You should have seen this girl. Bang! Ping! Padow! Gadonk!

  Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, I'm leaving.

  Barney Stinson : So, we get up to my place, and I go into my room to set up the camera... to light the candles. And when I come out, she's gone, and so is The Playbook. I think we all know who is responsible for this.

  Lily Aldrin : Yeah, we do.

  Barney Stinson : Yeah. Al-Qaeda.

• Lily Aldrin : Barney, I've got half a mind to take that playbook and put it up on the internet for the whole world to see.

  Barney Stinson : You wouldn't.

  Lily Aldrin : I won't, as long as you agree to no more scams, no more cons, no more hustles, no more hoodwinks, no more gambits, no more stratagems, and no more bamboozles.

  Barney Stinson : [long pause]  I notice you left out flimflam?

  Lily Aldrin : No more flimflam!

  Barney Stinson : Damn it!