Parks and Recreation (TV Series)
Park Safety (2010)
Amy Poehler: Leslie Knope
Photos
Quotes
-
Leslie Knope : And finally, we are gonna kick off the children's concert series this weekend with a performance by Freddy Spaghetti.
April Ludgate : I thought Freddy Spaghetti OD'd.
Leslie Knope : No, that's Mr. Funnynoodle. And he didn't OD, his drummer shot him.
April Ludgate : Oh.
Leslie Knope : Where's Jerry, by the way? Why isn't he back? How long does it take to fill birdfeeders?
Donna Meagle : Maybe he fell into the toilet. Remember when he fell into the toilet?
April Ludgate : Oh, sorry you guys. Sorry I'm late, I got confused and took a shower after I got dressed because I'm Jerry.
Ron Swanson : [in confessional] David Myers, the Jewish guy who works at City Hall, once told me something: a schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlimazel of our office.
-
Leslie Knope : I feel like we're responsible for this.
April Ludgate : Why? We didn't mug Jerry.
Leslie Knope : Well, why was he in the park in the first place?
Tom Haverford : Because we tricked him into going there. I don't see the connection.
Leslie Knope : I don't know. This is on us. It's karma.
Tom Haverford : Wouldn't it be karma if we were the ones that got mugged?
April Ludgate : Yeah. That's how pathetic Jerry is. He can't even get karma right.
[All laugh]
Leslie Knope : No, that's not funny.
-
Carl Lorthner : So! You're too important for me until one of your own gets attacked.
Leslie Knope : I just feel like there's more we can do to keep the parks safe.
Carl Lorthner : Oh, you think you know how to do my job? Well, you might not be so confident once you walked a mile in my size sevens.
[puts his foot on desk]
Leslie Knope : Kind of small feet.
Tom Haverford : Actually, seven is the worldwide average.
Carl Lorthner : Boom!