Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)
Long Arm of the Law! (2009)
Stephen Root: Woozy Winks
Quotes
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Plastic Man : Do you swear allegiance to the side of goodness and right?
Woozy Winks : I do.
Plastic Man : Will you strike terror into cowardly and superstitious criminals everywhere?
Woozy Winks : I will.
Plastic Man : Will you pit your prodigious strength and keen intellect against the forces of darkness as my crime-fighting apprentice?
Woozy Winks : Sure, Plas. Whatever you say.
Plastic Man : In that case, Woozy Winks, by the power I've invested in me, I make you my duly-deputized sidekick.
Woozy Winks : Hot dog!
Plastic Man : And now, to the Plas Cave.
[opening a bust of Batman, he takes out a set of keys and opens a door]
Woozy Winks : Wow, boss. You disguised it all up so's it looks like your garage.
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Batman : Woozy.
Woozy Winks : No, Bats, I'm fine. Thanks to you.
Batman : No, I meant you're Woozy.
Woozy Winks : No, really, never been better.
Batman : [thinking, derisively] Sidekicks.
Plastic Man : That dumb oaf almost hurt my family, and now he's gonna pay.
Batman : Now is not the best time to let your emotions get the best of you, Plas.
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Plastic Man : You know the plan, right, Woozy?
Woozy Winks : Of course. If Ramona asks where we took baby, don't mention Rubberneck, and change the subject.
Ramona : [opening the front door] Oh, baby. Where were you? I was so worried.
Plastic Man : Nothing to worry about, sugar. Just a stimulating evening at the boring old museum.
Woozy Winks : [getting nudged in the shoulder] Uh, I wonder what's on the old telly tonight.
[turning the TV on, they see a news report about the museum heist]
Woozy Winks : Uh-oh.
[switching channels, there's another news report]
Woozy Winks : Oh, boy.
[switching channels again, then turning the TV off]
Woozy Winks : Uh... I got nothing.
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Plastic Man : Yes! I am back, baby! Whoo!
[dodging a laser blast]
Plastic Man : Woozy, turn that thing off.
Woozy Winks : I'm trying, I'm trying.
[a ray hits Kite Man, who then adopts the properties of Plastic Man's powers]
Kite Man : Oh, you cannot be serious.
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Plastic Man : Great gadzooks. Rubberneck. What's that over-sized latex leviathan doing nosing around the museum? You watch baby and Schnitzel while I go catch this criminal red-handed.
Woozy Winks : [hiding, then peeking his head out] Can't see nothing. Can you, baby? Baby?
[realizing the baby's not in his carrier and the dog is off his leash]
Woozy Winks : Aw, nuts.
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Plastic Man : This is what passes as art nowadays? It's pretentious, uninspired...
Woozy Winks : And worth about a million bucks.
Plastic Man : [getting a greedy look in his eyes] A million bucks?
Woozy Winks : Now you're getting that look in your eyes, Plas. Remember, self-control.
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Woozy Winks : [as Plastic Man's dog does his business] Ugh, I wish we had that plastic bag now.
Plastic Man : Take note, Woozy. The great crime-fighters multitask. We'll expose baby to this classy long-hair stuff and go on crime patrol at the same time.
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Batman : Sorry to interrupt.
Plastic Man : Batman, come in, come in. Honey, it's Batman. Gotta talk with Batman. He's on a schedule, it's Batman, very busy.
Batman : [scanning him] Just as I suspected. You're missing 2.2 grams of yourself.
Woozy Winks : Mm-hmm. I thought you looked thinner.
Plastic Man : [gasping, with an exaggerated facial expression] Wait, what does that even mean?
Batman : The robbery at the museum was just a ruse. Rubberneck followed you in there. It was all a set-up to get to you.
Woozy Winks : But why, Plas? Can you think of anyone who has an ax to grind with you?
Plastic Man : Hmm...
[thinking through various events where he disrupted others]
Plastic Man : No, I can't think of a soul.
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Plastic Man : Where are we?
Batman : The Franklin Museum. Founded by the most famous kite flyer of them all: Benjamin Franklin.
Kite Man : Very good, Batman.
Plastic Man : Where's my family, Kite Man?
Woozy Winks : Plas! Look!
Plastic Man : [seeing them tied up to a kite outside] You are one sick individual.
Kite Man : Perhaps, but it wasn't always that way. As a boy, I was obsessed with Ben Franklin. I even re-created the famous electricity experiment. But I was brash. I cut corners, ignored safety precautions.
Batman : The resulting lightning strike caused a psychological trauma that forced you into a life of kite-centric crime.
Kite Man : Ben Franklin was a fraud. What did this so-called great man ever give us?
Woozy Winks : Bifocals.
Plastic Man : The Franklin stove.
Rubberneck : Daylight savings time.
Kite Man : Never mind! The only thing that matters is that tonight, I will have my vengeance.
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Batman : [Plastic Man has molded himself into the Batmobile] I told you to stay behind.
Plastic Man : But we wanted to help.
Batman : We?
Woozy Winks : [munching on a burger in the passenger seat] Hi.
Batman : It seems like our friend Rubberneck is at it again. Get us to the east side. Pronto.
Plastic Man : Gotcha.
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Plastic Man : I learned from Batman himself the importance of guile. Not to mention gear. The Plastic-rang, the Plastic-shield, plastic bags.
Woozy Winks : Wow, Plas. You're just like Batman.
Plastic Man : Aw, I'm trying, Woozy. Bats is the epitome of self-discipline and control. I'm hoping that following his example might help with my own problems in those areas.
Woozy Winks : You? Self-control problems? Ha! Get outta here.
Plastic Man : Let's go over the secret danger-alert whistle, shall we?
[molding his fingers into a musical instrument, he plays a trumpet fanfare; trying himself, Woozy just manages to blow raspberries]
Plastic Man : Close enough. Now, let's us two do-gooders do some good.
Ramona : [opening the garage door] If you boys are all done playing Batman and Robin, it's time to take baby and Schnitzel to the museum.
Plastic Man : [groaning in disappointment] Oh, Ramona.
Ramona : Don't you "Oh, Ramona" me, Edward O'Brien. You promised. Baby needs to be exposed to culture and class.
Plastic Man : Yeah, but we have crime patrol.
Ramona : [dejected, he takes the dog leash and stroller] And you be careful. Babies don't grow on trees, you know.