- Captain America: Iron Man, please turn in your Super Hero Squad identity card, your corporate credit card, your key to the city, and your standard issue Squaddie undies.
- War Machine: Stop talking like you're Iron Man.
- Iron Man: Stop talking like you're on Reading Rainbow.
- Iron Man: What the heck? Rhodey, is that you under there?
- War Machine: How did you know my... Hold up. If you are the real Iron Man, tell me something that only you would know.
- Iron Man: You've been dating Squirrel Girl on the down low. Okay, your turn. Prove who you are. Tell me something only Rhodey would know.
- War Machine: Uh, you once dated She-Hulk, but it ended when you discovered that she...
- Iron Man: Gentleman don't discuss those things.
- Crimson Dynamo: I am Crimson Dynamo. I am break you!
- War Machine: I'm Rhodey. I'm a Sagittarius. Don't you watch the movies? The smaller guy always wins the fight.
- Crimson Dynamo: I don't watch movies except Beaches. Bette Midler makes me...
- [sniffles]
- Crimson Dynamo: Popular entertainment is for the weak. Crimson Dynamo is strong!
- Mayor of Super Hero City: Iron Man, what were you thinking? I, I mean, sure, what celebrities haven't thought about using their powers for evil? But, but, you can't actually do it.
- Iron Man: Rhodey, how are ya? And why is my best friend wearing the mark II armor?
- War Machine: Somebody had to. Since you've been leading the Super Hero Squad, I've had to cover all your other stuff. Work for Stark Industries, SHIELD, the Initiative, the Illuminati, that jelly of the month subscription that you never got around to canceling.
- Iron Man: Jelly of the month clu- you mean the jelly that's hand delivered every month by super models?
- Mayor of Super Hero City: For your heroic service and for agreeing not to sue us for slander, I rebestow this key to the city to the most breathtaking, most sensational hero of all: the invincible Forbush Man! Eh, I mean Iron Man.