It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
The Gang Reignites the Rivalry (2009)
Charlie Day: Charlie Kelly
Photos
Quotes
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Charlie Kelly : [after informing a rival bar that the gang poisoned them 10 years ago to win a flip-cup tournament] Check it out... Who's to say we didn't put that very same poison in the drinking water?
Mac : [customers begin spitting out water] Everybody relax. He's lying. He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie Kelly : No, I don't have any on me. But I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank Reynolds : There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles.
[pause]
Frank Reynolds : What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie Kelly : Well, that's mayonnaise. That's a decoy.
Frank Reynolds : And the mayo?
Charlie Kelly : That's shampoo.
Frank Reynolds : You're telling me I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie Kelly : If you're using the mayonnaise, yeah... probably.
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Charlie Kelly : I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put 'em in their place.
Mac : How are you gonna do that?
Charlie Kelly : Well, you've seen the movie, right?
Mac : Yeah.
Charlie Kelly : So all I gotta do is I'll ask them some like big shot, like, math or science, history-type college question and then I'll totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac : Yeah, in that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor. You're just a janitor.
Charlie Kelly : ...Right.
[chuckles]
Charlie Kelly : ... Ah, you stumped me with that one.