Community (TV Series)
Investigative Journalism (2010)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her.
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Annie Edison : You expect me to watch you do that without telling on you?
Jeff Winger : That's a hard-hitting question, Annie. Are you a reporter?
Annie Edison : No, they've got me editing the crossword because I'm a girl. And because I love crosswords!
Jeff Winger : Well, now you love the streets. You're my ace news hound.
Annie Edison : Ace? You can do that?
Jeff Winger : We can do anything we want. It's Greendale. Now go find me that story.
[Annie leaves]
Abed : This character reboot is really gelling for you, Jeff. That was all classic Hawkeye. Sending soldiers out for liquor. Slyly sidestepping the problematic scrutiny of Annie "Hotlips" Edison. I should build you a still for making Hawkeye martinis.
Jeff Winger : Of all your pop culture fixations, this is one I can work with, Abed.
Abed : Call me Radar?
Jeff Winger : When you've earned it.
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Jeff Winger : Who are you kidding, Abed? I just dragged a screaming, crying man out of a library with his pants down. No. Martinis are for Hawkeyes. I'm the same uptight jerk I was last semester.
Abed : Jeff, what's your favorite episode of M*A*S*H?
Jeff Winger : The one with, uh... the army.
Abed : That's what I thought. If you'd ever actually seen the show, you'd know that Hawkeye didn't just bed nurses and drink martinis. He also had blood sprayed on his face and barked orders when the choppers came in. If he didn't, people died. He was a leader, Jeff. That's your job.
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Jeff Winger : You know what you guys sound like? Me last semester.
[Points at Annie]
Jeff Winger : Cynical...
[Points at Shirley]
Jeff Winger : ... elitist...
[Points at Abed]
Jeff Winger : ... rakishly good-looking.
Abed : Thanks.
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Jeff Winger : No, it's fine. It's fine. it's just a little... little nosebleed. I get them when it's dry and when my face gets kicked.
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Jeff Winger : [Looking at the Editor's desk] This is the first desk I've seen in 6 months that doesn't have 'Zeppelin Rules' carved into it.
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Dean Pelton : And you get an English credit.
Jeff Winger : Well, that ain't bad neither. I'm in. Yeah.
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Jeff Winger : Let's get one thing straight. I wish I was still a lawyer, I'm only here because I'm hot for Britta, and I don't want to be anybody's friend.
[removes sunglasses]
Jeff Winger : Just kidding. Bring it in here, you knuckleheads.
[all laughing and chattering]
Jeff Winger : You know, I gotta say, I... I took a look back at the guy I was last semester, and I realized, that guy was a drag.
Shirley Bennett , Abed , Buddy , Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes : No.
Pierce Hawthorne : Good to hear you admit it, Jeff.
Jeff Winger : No, the truth is, this is a new semester, a new Jeff. Greendale is where I am and I am gonna make the best of it.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, that's nice.
Abed : You're like Hawkeye on M.A.S.H.. He kept his upbeat humor and charm, even in the 11th year of the Korean War.
Buddy : Yeah. Well, don't go changing too much, Jeff. I think we all like you just the way you were.
Jeff Winger : Well, I appreciate that, but... Did you just teleport here?
Buddy : No, I snuck in during the group hug. You guys don't remember me? Buddy, from Spanish class.
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison , Britta Perry : Yeah, it's Buddy from Spanish class.
Pierce Hawthorne : [emphatically] I've never seen you before in my life!
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison , Britta Perry : [all talking over each other] I don't know you.
Abed : I've seen Buddy before. He sits in the corner, next to the dead plant.
Buddy : Thank you, Abed. Sometimes I have a tendency to melt into the background. It's just my body type, but I definitely know you guys. From watching you all last semester grow together.
