Modern Family (TV Series)

Not in My House (2010)

Julie Bowen: Claire Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alex Dunphy : Why is Dad in Luke's room with the door closed?

  Claire Dunphy : They're having a little talk.

  Alex Dunphy : Is Luke being punished?

  Claire Dunphy : Is that your favorite thing? When your brother or sister gets into trouble.

  Alex Dunphy : My favorite thing is when they're *both* in trouble. So what'd he do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater.

  Claire Dunphy : He did not cheat on a test.

  Alex Dunphy : Did he lie?

  Claire Dunphy : Alex.

  Alex Dunphy : He lies all the time.

  Claire Dunphy : Alex.

  Alex Dunphy : Sorry. I'm just worried about Luke... A lot of parents are hitting again.

• Phil Dunphy : You're probably just feeling a little tense from all of this. I know I am. You know what might help the situation?

  [pokes her arm playfully] 

  Claire Dunphy : Really?... Right now?

  Phil Dunphy : [Face goes from humorous to serious]  I meant going out for a few pizzas. Where's your mind?

  [Starts to leave the room] 

  Phil Dunphy : I guess I live in a house full of sex maniacs.

• Claire Dunphy : Okay, I checked the rest of the computers in the house - I didn't find any more porn.

  Phil Dunphy : That was hardly porn - it was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

• Phil Dunphy : Where are you going?

  Claire Dunphy : I'm going to pick up Luke from his sleepover. We need to talk to him about this now.

  Phil Dunphy : Claire, this is a very delicate situation. If we don't handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex. Or agribusiness.