Smallville (TV Series)

Upgrade (2010)

Erica Durance: Lois Lane

Quotes 

• Lois Lane : Tess. How not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I've ever been in... twice.

• Lois Lane : [turning on a hidden spy cam]  Okay, my blurry, butt-kicking friend. You were right. Tess of the uber-villains is up to no good. She was hoarding more meteor rock here than there probably is in all of Smallville. And something tells me the reason is behind that curtain.

• Lois Lane : [startled by Corben]  God, do you take lessons on how to do that?

  John Corben : Okay, isn't the appropriate response "Thank god you're still alive"? "Too bad you're wearing clothes this time"?

  Lois Lane : Yes, that's it. The first part.

• Lois Lane : So, how did you get away from Mercer?

  John Corben : Uh... it involved a secret cave, action sequence out of the Ice Capades, and your... best friend.

  Lois Lane : [showing him the red kryptonite heart in her purse]  Maybe this makes up for everything?

  John Corben : [leading her into a nearby alley]  Where'd you get that?

  Lois Lane : Souvenir from my own little adventure.

• John Corben : You know, the first time I saw you, I never thought that you'd end up being my hero. Of course, I was hoping to escape with a different heart. You know, Lois... you're the only one that's... been honest... and loyal and brave.

  Lois Lane : Wow, that's a scary-high pedestal of adjectives you just put me on.

  John Corben : You're the only one that's given me... a chance, I... I mean, I-I can't ever tell anyone else about me. You're the only chance that I have of-of living an honest... honest life. And... if I were gonna disappear again, I would wanna disappear with you.

  Lois Lane : Oh. Me. John, that means a lot. But I'm with someone else. He's a little on the squeaky side, so I probably won't pull back the curtain and reveal our wild and crazy ride, but... he is it... for me.

  John Corben : Okay. Sorry, I, uh... you have one of those words for now?

  Lois Lane : Um... maybe if this were another lifetime.

  John Corben : Yeah. You know, I really... hope that your guy knows who you really are. 'Cause you are a real... dame, Lois Lane.

• Tess Mercer : I am so sorry to disappoint you, Lois. But I doubt that the government is going to want their covert defense programs on the front page of the Daily Planet, so if you could just...

  [putting her finger to her lips] 

  Tess Mercer : Shh.

  Lois Lane : I saw what you did to Corben. I was on the bus when you sent me on a tranq trip to Mount Rushmore. You can't cover this up, Tess.

  Chloe Sullivan : [knocking her out with chloroform]  Sorry, Lo.

  Tess Mercer : You take care of her, and I'll clean the rest of this up to make sure that no one will believe Lois' trip down the rabbit hole.

• John Corben : I appreciate you trying to help, but I've got it from here, all right? You get yourself into enough trouble without me leading you to more.

  Lois Lane : Hey. I promised I'd get you to the military base in South Dakota.

  John Corben : [she sits down and pulls him into the next seat]  So, what are you? My personal bodyguard?

  Lois Lane : My dad assured me Dr. Vale is the best guy around. So whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me.

  John Corben : As nice as that sounds, I could have Tess Mercer's entire defense division descending on me at any minute.

  Lois Lane : Exactly. So when you're free and clear and planting your homestead spike in the badlands, then I'll send you the sayonara.

• Lois Lane : Glad to see you're looking so good.

  John Corben : Thanks. You look... pretty good, too.

  Lois Lane : [giving him her coat to cover himself]  I meant, you know... strong. I mean... healthy, alive.

  John Corben : Oh, yeah. Right. Maybe we should get out of here before the... Blur decides to light this place up like a Christmas tree.

  Lois Lane : The Blur did this to you?

  John Corben : Yeah. I don't know how he found me.

  Lois Lane : Well, maybe he wasn't here for you. You know, maybe he was following a well-meaning source. And you did kind of go Phantom of the Boiler Room last time you entered stage right.

• Lois Lane : [surprised to find Corben in the Talon basement]  John Corben?

  John Corben : [she picks up a wrench]  I gotta... I gotta hand it to you, bright eyes. You... you sure have a way of finding trouble.

  Lois Lane : Said the man who swatted me around like a tether ball on our last arena challenge.

  John Corben : [breathing and panting heavily]  I just wanted to get you h-home. I didn't... I didn't mean for you to see me.

  Lois Lane : Wait. G-Get me home?

  John Corben : When I woke up on the lab table, they had altered me. And-and my mind, my mind is almost normal. It is. It is, except... except for this... this upgrade here.

  [indicating the back of his neck] 

  John Corben : It's here. Look.

  Lois Lane : Upgrade?

• Lois Lane : John, who did this to you? Tess?

  John Corben : Her scientists did. I heard them saying something about... slamming a chip... in the back so they could control... everything that I do. But then you... you helped me escape before... before they could.

  Lois Lane : [he groans and clutches his kryptonite heart]  John? John, what's happening? John look at me.

  John Corben : My heart is-is gonna stop... if I don't find a meter rock and... and refuel.

• Lois Lane : [waking up in bed next to Clark]  How'd you get in here? How did I get in here?

  Clark Kent : Well, it must have been some night.

  Lois Lane : Yeah, I was chasing down a red-hot lead and then... hit a dead end.

  Clark Kent : [seeing a scratch on her arm]  Lois, what happened to you?

  Lois Lane : Uh, oh, uh, you know, I was just, I was... trying too hard to open up my, uh, "The Hangover" DVD, you know, with dad's Swiss army knife? And he was sure I wouldn't put it to good use. Wanna kiss it better, soldier?

• Clark Kent : What's going on, Lois? You've been AWOL for over a week. Now, I know we agreed a little mystery between us would be good, but I'm worried about you. Come on, I think it'd be a good idea if there was nothing between us.

  Lois Lane : [coyly]  I think that can be arranged.

  Clark Kent : Lois.

  Lois Lane : Mm-hmm?

  Lois Lane : [her phone beeps just as they're about to kiss]  I'm sorry, Smallville. It's Randall. It-it could be the story of the century. I can't risk a coulda, shoulda, woulda.

  Clark Kent : [moving to leave]  It's okay. I wouldn't want you to miss out on something big.

• Lois Lane : Really, really bad timing, but I won't hold it against you.

  Zod : [calling as the Blur]  Have you found the information on Mercer I requested?

  Lois Lane : Yeah, she's running a secret underground facility at 4th and Lincoln, where she's testing some red form of meteor rocks. But score one for the obvious column, I think that you already knew that since you saved me from an early obituary, right?

  Zod : [unsure what she means, but covering]  Yeah. What is she experimenting on?

  Lois Lane : You know what, listen, if-if this isn't a matter of life and death, I really... I have to go.

• Lab Guard : [seeing a man's name on Lois' ID badge]  Hank, huh? I don't think so.

  Lois Lane : Tell that to the bean counters in HR. They didn't wanna chip in to buy extra letters to spell "Henrietta".

  Scientist : How did she get in here? Inform the boss the upgrade has been compromised. Get rid of her.