The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Einstein Approximation (2010)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sandy : So, Mister Cooper, you're looking for a job.
Sheldon Cooper : A menial job. Like yours.
Sandy : Why, thank you for noticing. I'm menial employee of the month.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Serves Howard] Alright, one bacon cheeseburger, breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously - kudos...
[Serves Raj]
Sheldon Cooper : ... and Beer-battered fish and chips - Now, here's your tartar sauce. I also brought you salsa. It's a little unconventional, but I think you'll like it. It's zingy...
[Serves Leonard]
Sheldon Cooper : And for you, factory burrito grande, no cheese, no sour cream, no ugly consequences from your lactose intolerance. Bon appétit.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hang on. Black beans, not pinto beans?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter : Double guacamole?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course.
Leonard Hofstadter : No cilantro?
Sheldon Cooper : Nope.
Leonard Hofstadter : Lettuce shredded, not chopped?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter : You understand why I'm doing this to you?
Sheldon Cooper : I do.
Leonard Hofstadter : That'll be all.
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[having figured out the solution to his physics problem, Sheldon turns to leave the Cheesecake Factory, leaving a mess of food on the floor]
Penny : Sheldon, where are you going? Aren't you going to clean this up?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, I don't work here.
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Penny : [Sheldon is using his hands like a spyglass] What is he doing now?
Leonard Hofstadter : Hmm, he's either isolating the terms of his formula and examining them individually, or... looking for the alligator that swallowed his hand after Peter Pan cut it off.
Sheldon Cooper : Captain Hook's hand was eaten by a crocodile, not an alligator. If you're going to mock me, at least get your facts straight.
Leonard Hofstadter : Aye, aye, captain.
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Penny : Sheldon, what do you want?
Sheldon Cooper : I came to tell you, I've got the answer.
Leonard Hofstadter : Really? You figured out the graphene problem?
Sheldon Cooper : No, I'm still hopelessly stuck on that, but I've figured out how to figure it out.
Penny : Hey, you know, Leonard, I know I said I could handle your roommate, but I was wrong; we're going to have to break up.
Leonard Hofstadter : What are you talking about?
Sheldon Cooper : Einstein.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, I'm gonna need a little more than that.
Sheldon Cooper : Albert Einstein.
Leonard Hofstadter : Keep going...
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Sheldon Cooper : When Albert Einstein came up with Special Relativity, he was working at the Patent Office.
Leonard Hofstadter : So you're going to go work at the Patent Office?
Sheldon Cooper : Don't be absurd; that's in Washington. You know I could never live in a city the streets are laid out in a wheel and spoke pattern.
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Sheldon Cooper : By the way, I was watching you sleep for a moment, and I noticed that your snoring seems to be worse when you're on your back.
Penny : No, Leonard doesn't snore.
Sheldon Cooper : No, I wasn't talking to Leonard.
Leonard Hofstadter : Told you.
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Raj Koothrappali : OK, just to be clear, roller-skating was my idea, and I'm very unhappy that you turned it into a double date, and I hope you both fall on your asses and break your coccyxes!
Sheldon Cooper : The plural of coccyx is coccyges.
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[first lines]
Penny : Whatcha doing?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image so as to engage the superior colliculus of my brain.
Penny : Interesting. I usually just have coffee.
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Howard Wolowitz : How long has he been stuck?
Leonard Hofstadter : Intellectually, about thirty hours. Emotionally, about twenty-nine years.
Sheldon Cooper : [muttering] The alkyl cell contains two carbon atoms. The interior angle of a hexagon's one hundred and twenty degrees.
Howard Wolowitz : Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, I think it's a firmware problem.
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Sheldon Cooper : I need to determine where in this swamp of unbalanced formulas squatteth the toad of truth.