- Lydia Dunfree: Revenge? Don't do it. That's in the bible. Although, we're only human. I know I am, right? One time I got revenge on someone by putting tuna fish in the AC vents of her car. But then we ended up carpooling - what! So you better be careful because sometimes revenge backfires and you end up with a fish smell. My mouth is dry. Oh, I think my contacts just popped out. Where did you go Mr. Contacts?
- AF Gordon Theodore: [after overhearing a pitch for a modernized version of Pride and Prejudice based around prostitutes and murder at a Hollywood party] My god, what twaddle. These people are Philistines.
- Lydia Dunfree: And some Jews. That's what's great, everybody gets along!