- Homer Simpson: Let us curl, milady. Let us throw and sweep atwain until the heavens themselves drop their jaws in wonder and envy. And afterwards there'll be beer and cocoa with marshmallows floating in the foam. And if, from now till the end of time, someone should ask what we were doing on the eve of the seventeenth of November, we shall proclaim that we were curling!
- Lenny Leonard: Date Night: It's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
- Carl Carlson: I never should've given you that Egyptology book.
- Bart Simpson: Lisa, I know all about addiction from watching dad, and the first step to recovery is to get rid of the substance. So take off your pins. All of them.
- Lisa Simpson: What is this, tough love?
- Bart Simpson: I prefer to think of if more like soft hate.
- Marge Simpson: This isn't fair. I wanted romance.
- Homer Simpson: How about bromance?
- Marge Simpson: It's not the same.
- Homer Simpson: Dude!
- Marge Simpson: I'm not a dude. I'm a hottie.
- Homer Simpson: Ooh, this bromance just got interesting.
- Bart Simpson: Principal Skinner? This is bogus, man! You know the rules. You need at least two letters and a phone call before a home visit.
- Seymour Skinner: Bart, my cargo pants indicate that I'm not here on school business. I'm here on cool business, i.e. curling.
- Marge Simpson: We're going to Vancouver!
- Homer Simpson: Pack your winter coat, honey. We're going to Canada's warmest city.