- Miss Park: Are you gonna be a good influence on your little buddy?
- Ryan Laserbeam: I wouldn't think so.
- Ryan Laserbeam: [meeting Nate for the first time] Nate? What's up, little guy? I'm Ryan. That's R-Y-A-N.
- Nate: I know how to spell Ryan, you dumb diddle bucket.
- Ryan Laserbeam: Did you just call me a diddle bucket?
- Nate: That's right.
- Ryan Laserbeam: What exactly is that?
- Nate: You know, puff doodle? A cream pickle? A droop nozzle?
- Ryan Laserbeam: Well, I assure you I'm not any of those things.
- Nate: I highly doubt that.
- Ryan Laserbeam: [horrified] WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
- Nate: [painting the principal's office pink] So far, just this one wall.
- Ryan Laserbeam: [confiscating Nate's paintbrush] Give me that.
- Nate: [playing innocent] Please, mister. I beg you not to make me participate in this madness.
- Ryan Laserbeam: [confused] What are you talking about I didn't-
- [catches on]
- Ryan Laserbeam: Ruckman's right behind me, isn't he?
- F. David Pillows: I like your sweater, Molly. It makes you look youthful.
- Molly: [confused] I'm thirteen-and-a-half.
- [beat]
- F. David Pillows: Bravo!