30 Rock (TV Series)

Don Geiss, America and Hope (2010)

Tina Fey: Liz Lemon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Donaghy : These are exciting times for NBC. Not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting. More like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting. But Kabletown is a fine company, even if it is from... Philadelphia.

  Liz Lemon : Go, Eagles!

  [Throws snowball at Jack] 

  Jack Donaghy : Where did you get a snowball?

  Liz Lemon : Philly rules! Cheesesteaks, Bobby Clarke, Wil Smith! Boston sucks!

  Jack Donaghy : Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston tea party, Boston cream pie, Boston Rob Mariano, birthplace of Benjamin Franklin...

  Liz Lemon : Yeah, and then he looked around, realized it sucked and moved to Philadelphia!

• Liz Lemon : Wait, your name is Wesley Snipes? That's insane!

  Wesley : This is insane? You know what's insane? That the actor is named Wesley Snipes! If you were shown a picture of him and a picture of me, and were asked "who should be named Wesley Snipes", you'd pick the pale Englishman every time! Every time, Liz!

• Liz Lemon : I'm sorry. You have a problem with the science of Hot Tub Time Machine?

  Wesley Snipes : Yeah, not the time travel. It's the hot tub. You don't just turn one on and it's immediately hot. I should know, I've been in a hot tub two times.

  Liz Lemon : Well, I don't question everything.

  Wesley Snipes : Except the snacks I got for us.

  Liz Lemon : Yeah, seltzer and Mike and Ikes?

  Wesley Snipes : Well, what did you want? Popcorn?

  Liz Lemon : Yes!

  Wesley Snipes : Popcorn? At the cinema? And by the way, your food obsession is not as endearing as you think it is.

  Liz Lemon : Huh.

  Wesley Snipes : It's like being in a Cathy cartoon that just won't end.

  Liz Lemon : Oh my god, I want to smash your face.

• Liz Lemon : Okay, mentor time. I need a pep talk.

  Jack Donaghy : Lemon, I'm not in the mood to solve your lady problems or listen to a story about whatever escapee from the Island of Misfit Toys you're currently dating.

  Liz Lemon : No, this is a Liz relationship emergency. It's a Liz-aster.

  Jack Donaghy : [sighs]  Okay, Lemon. What is it?

  Liz Lemon : [sighs]  Okay. Ever since I was little...

  Jack Donaghy : No, faster than that.

  Liz Lemon : My whole adult life...

  Jack Donaghy : No!

  Liz Lemon : Oprah says...

  Jack Donaghy : You have ten seconds.

• Jenna Maroney : So, how was your date with Wesley?

  Liz Lemon : Remember that scene in Notting Hill with the party in the garden? I'd rather see that terrible movie five times than go on another date with Wesley.

• Wesley : The universe wants us to settle for one another. Well, there has to be a reason this keeps happening to us, Liz. I think Fate is telling us this is the best we're ever gonna get. We're each other's settling soul mates.

  Liz Lemon : Settling soul mates? That is grim. And I've played Monopoly alone.

  Wesley : Well, I know it's not ideal, but we'd both benefit. I mean, I could open jars and kill bugs for you, and you could make me look less gay at work functions.