Smallville (TV Series)

Hostage (2010)

Michael McKean: Perry White

Photos 

Quotes 

• Perry White : [to Lois]  This is your lucky day, kid. The big break most people dream about. You get to write a story with Perry White.

• Perry White : Great Ceasar's ghost.

• Takeout Guy : Taco Dan's. What can I get you?

  Lois Lane : I know this phone is a direct line to Checkmate, so here's my order. Red queen. Nothing on the side, just her.

  Takeout Guy : Ma'am, this is a Mexican restaurant.

  Lois Lane : Oh, right. Taco Dan's? That the best you can come up with? I thought all you spy guys went to Yale.

  Takeout Guy : Lady, you have the wrong number.

  Lois Lane : Oh, no, Austin Powers. I have your number. I know that you work for a covert organization dedicated to defending the planet from an alien invasion, that your boss was Amanda Waller, and that that little chateau of yours in the Rocky Mountains was blown to bits, probably by aliens after the Book of Rao, which is why you better stop with this guac-and-chips act and get us some face time with the Red Queen right now.

  Perry White : Or else we'll yank Her Majesty off the chessboard and put her on the front page of the Daily Planet!

  Lois Lane : [Guy hangs up]  Maybe that really was a Mexican restaurant

  Perry White : Between this and the dinner disaster, looks like we're both 0 for 2 tonight.

• Lois Lane : Oh, my god. Perry... you've raised the dead. You have single-handedly brought my flat-lined career back to life.

  Perry White : No big deal. I just put in a good word with your boss, Stern.

  Lois Lane : Well, I will never forget this. And neither will Clark.

• Perry White : I got line on the Red Queen. Nairobi. I'm flying out tomorrow.

  Lois Lane : Tomorrow? What about you and Mrs. K?

  Perry White : Oh, I'm not giving up on her yet. Martha's one story I'm not sharing with anyone. So what do you say, kid? Africa?

  Lois Lane : Normally, I would jump at the chance at running away from my problems. But after one day in the trenches with Perry White, I realized I don't have to go anywhere to find my higher calling. I just... I needed to find the hero inside myself.

  Perry White : Goodbye, Lane. You're the real deal.

  Lois Lane : See you, chief.

  Perry White : Oh, and, uh, tell Clark we're even. I owed him one from a long time ago.

• Lois Lane : [waiting for a meet with the Red Queen]  So, is this what it was like when you busted the Star City Strangler?

  Perry White : Did I do that?

  Lois Lane : Yeah.

  Perry White : In the '90s. Ah, those were my fuzzy-navel years. I blacked out most of that decade.

  [a figure in a red coat appears on a nearby rooftop] 

  Perry White : Bogey, 12:00 high.

  Lois Lane : Looks like we've got an audience with the Queen.

• Perry White : Tell us what it's like working together and dating.

  Clark Kent : It's never been better.

  Lois Lane : Hmm. It's kinda like being on a chain gang with your ball and chain.

  Clark Kent : And, you know, sometimes our job gets in the way, but we always work it out.

  Lois Lane : Except when we don't.

  Perry White : Didn't I read an engagement announcement in the Daily Planet?

  Martha Kent : [Lois chokes on her food]  Uh, I thought we weren't gonna bring that up, dear.

  Clark Kent : Lois and I got our signals crossed.

  Lois Lane : Yeah, I don't know how that "I do" slipped out.

• Clark Kent : Mom, everything smells great.

  Martha Kent : Thanks, honey. Uh, could you two help me with the...

  Clark Kent : [seeing her become emotinal]  Mom, what is it?

  Perry White : Who's up for a crackling fire?

  [she leaves, overwhelmed] 

  Perry White : What did I do?

  Clark Kent : That was my dad's jacket.

• Perry White : Come on. Sit. Join me for a drink.

  [Clark glances at his glass suspiciously] 

  Perry White : Club soda. Since that little wake-up call of yours years ago, I'm a teetotaler and utter bore.

• Clark Kent : Still chasing down stories, I see.

  Perry White : Oh, this is a little freelance project I'm doing on the side, with Lois, actually. I hope I'm not overstepping.

  Clark Kent : No. There was this one story she wanted my help on, but I... looks like she's traded up for a more... experienced partner.

  Perry White : [laughing]  I'll let you in on a little secret. Experiene is overrated. I spent the first twenty years of my career living out of a carry-on bag, chasing every story that moved. I was saving the world.

  Clark Kent : That's a big job for a simple reporter.

  Perry White : Yeah, well, two ex-wives and an ex-dog later, it finally sunk in. What matters most is having someone around to share your life with. Someone like your mom. Clark, here's the thing. I'm gonna ask your mother to marry me. I'd like your blessing.

  Clark Kent : Listen, Mr. White, I don't want to get in the middle of anything. I'm not sure she's gonna give you the answer you're looking for.

• Lois Lane : Is that your next big story?

  Perry White : Yeah. I've been tracking this one for months. Big players. This thing is my white whale, kid. Sorry, I can't share any details.

  Lois Lane : Too bad, Ahab. 'Cause I've got something pretty big on the line, too. It's gonna cause quite a splash.

  Perry White : Oh, well, if it's as huge as you say it is... good luck reeling it in all by yourself.

  Lois Lane : That's true. I don't have Clark right now to help with the heavy lifting. But this puppy sells itself. It is gonna kick your story back to Arts and Leisure.

  Perry White : [laughing she shows him a picture of a Kandorian flying through the air]  You've gotta be kidding me. This is a Goth guy on a trampoline in a jogging suit.

  Lois Lane : No, it's the real thing. I got a call from a... a guy who needed my help. And when I started investigating this shady redhead, I found the mother lode. There are aliens here on our planet. And they are looking for this.

  [showing him a hand-made drawing] 

  Lois Lane : The Book of Rao.

  Perry White : The Book of Rao. Really? I've seen this before.

  Lois Lane : [he moves to take it]  You gotta give some to get some.

• Perry White : A secret government complex in the Rocky Mountains was blown to bits. When I tried to investigate, I was blocked by an operative even the FBI doesn't know about. Code name, Red Queen. Now, I think she's shadowing a secret organization called Checkmate which is fighting some kind of terrorist invasion. And it's all somehow connected with this.

  [he shows her his own picture, which resembles her drawing of the Book of Rao] 

  Lois Lane : Maybe our two stories are really the same story.

• Martha Kent : Lois, hi. You'll stay for dinner, I hope. I've got plenty for the four of us.

  Clark Kent : The four of us?

  Perry White : [entering, dragging a suitcase]  I don't know why you need all these clothes. With my help, you won't be wearing any...

  Martha Kent : [he stops short when he sees Clark]  You remember Perry White?

  Lois Lane : *The* Perry White?

• Lois Lane : Thanks for all your help, Perry. I really needed to get my head into a story right now.

  Perry White : [Sees her apartment is trashed]  Well, either you've been robbed, or I missed a hell of a party.

  Lois Lane : My parties are never that good.

• Perry White : Look, Lane, if for some reason I don't make it and you do...

  Lois Lane : Don't talk like that.

  Perry White : It's not pretty but it has to be said. I think I deserve first position on the byline.

• Lois Lane : [taking a selfie with Perry]  Oh, my god, you've gotta forward this to my high school journalism teacher. Check it out, Mrs. Kreitzman. Me and Perry White. Who's sorry now, biatch?

  Perry White : Sorry, kid. Last thing I need is a Mrs. Kreitzman on my ass. By the way, I've, uh, read some of your stuff. You and Clark are a regular Woodward and Bernstein.