Photos
Quotes
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Agent Lana Kane : I blew jack shit!
Sterling Archer : Name dropper.
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[last lines]
Sterling Archer : So, uh, is that a yes or a maybe or... what?
[pause]
Sterling Archer : Oh, OK, I guess just pout.
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Sterling Archer : The "famille" thing actually makes this borderline creepy.
Framboise : Perhaps if you tried it from behind?
Sterling Archer : Yeah, let's try that.
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Agent Lana Kane : I am sick of you getting the best assignments just because your mother's the boss! Do you know how that feels?
Sterling Archer : Besides awesome?
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Sterling Archer : Let's talk this out.
Agent Lana Kane : Talk what out? How you ruined my chance to work for ODIN? Or, ooooh, maybe how I just caught my boyfriend balls deep in some French chick.
Sterling Archer : Ex-boyfriend, I bet.
Agent Lana Kane : Ya think?
Sterling Archer : Yeah. He's not coming back. That chick was like, the Pelé of anal.
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[first lines]
Sterling Archer : [driving a Mini] Because this is what was there, Lana.
Agent Lana Kane : Where? Outside a clown college?
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Agent Lana Kane : [Sarcastically] OK, yes, I'm jealous.
Sterling Archer : First step's admitting it.
Agent Lana Kane : Jealous that ODIN's going to beat us again...
Sterling Archer : ODIN?
Agent Lana Kane : ...thanks to your epic poon-houndery!
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Agent Lana Kane : We've got about two minutes before some ODIN dick sees this and seals the exits.
Sterling Archer : Uhhh, any way we can bump that to five? I, I seriously need a shower.
Agent Lana Kane : Archer!
Sterling Archer : Okay, God! Climb down off that rag.
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Len Trexler : [after Barry reads Archer's "burn notice" out loud] Ah, it must have killed her to do this.
Barry Dillon : And I'm smirking.
Len Trexler : No, you don't smirk at a mother's suffering, Barry! You asshole.
[Punches Barry's wounded arm]
Barry Dillon : Ow! It's just with the shattered femur and the gunshot wound, and - I don't know if you knew this - but Framboise and I were kind of engaged.
Len Trexler : I did not know that.
Barry Dillon : Yeah.
Len Trexler : And I served her up like a pudding.
Barry Dillon : Well, engaged to be engaged.
[Trexler punches his arm again]
Barry Dillon : Ow!
Len Trexler : Ass. If you love it, put a ring on it. Okay, so... Okay, you go fix this.
Barry Dillon : You know, I'm not even sure I want to now. She was obviously into him.
[Trexler punches his arm again]
Barry Dillon : Ow!
Len Trexler : Ass! Not Framboise! Archer!
Barry Dillon : The burn notice? His mother just obviously sent that to...
Len Trexler : ...to every agency on the planet. Look at this: the CIA, MI6 Interpol. We can't keep him now, Barry.
Barry Dillon : Oh, so...
Len Trexler : So you take him to the basement, you put one in his ear. Can you do that?
Barry Dillon : Oh...
[Overlapping Archer's first word]
Sterling Archer : [Enters office zipping up pants] Oh, my god! That Framboise is a freak, huh?
Barry Dillon : Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.