- Phil and Claire question their intelligence after a comment by Alex, Mitchell suspects that he fathered a child 8 years ago, and Gloria tells an embarrassing lie about Jay to cover up his rudeness to another couple.
- Claire and Phil want Alex to relax a little about her studies, but then they start questioning their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Gloria tries to befriend another nice couple, much to Jay's chagrin, and Mitch and Cam run into and old female flame of Mitchell's, only to make a disturbing discovery.—ABC Publicity
- Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) are worried about the study-obsessed Alex (Ariel Winter), who does this weird thing with her jaw when she studies. Although Luke (Nolan Gould) can time it to throw a cherry in her mouth without her knowing it. But being study-obsessed isn't as bad as Lily, who appears to be taking things from the stores as she passes by with Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cameron (Eric Stonestreet). They run into Tracy (), who dated Mitch in high school and had a drunken night together at their ten-year reunion. Apparently, Mitch played for both teams in high school, although Cam defends his own honor by claiming he took many a lady to the hen house (literally, he lived on a farm). Ladies like Nellie Forbush, Betty Rizzo, Eliza Dolittle, Kim McAfee (all girls from musicals, yes). Cam and Mitch suggested hanging out, and Tracy shoots that down in a hurry.
CAMERON: (to Lily, who stole sunglasses) You naughty little girl.
MITCHELL: Well, that's what happens to me when you give me Kahlua.
Cam tells him not to worry about it, and Mitch is OK...until he sees Tracy taking care of a boy with serioiusly red hair, who was about eight years old. Which was about the time of his ten-year reunion. He tries to tell Cam, who naturally goes dramatic on him
Jay (Ed O'Neill) doesn't want to meet the Hoffmans, a couple Gloria and he met on a vacation. But Gloria (Sofía Vergara) has to invite them to dinner because they were already there. Jay tries to play it honest, saying they're very nice people but they shouldn't pressure themselves into meeting all the time. Only the Hoffmans were staying at their place that night. Awkward! Gloria is upset with Jay for throwing her under the bus, and she has to go and apologize to them as they leave. Of course, they brought her a gift that she didn't know about until now (a signed copy of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez book), and Gloria is overloaded with guilt. She begs them to stay and claims Jay's mind is going in his old age.
Phil and Claire go for a study intervention, since Alex is obsessed with getting the best score in the class.
PHIL: This is my fault. You see me achieve excellence and it puts a lot of pressure on you.
They pull her away from her books against her will and put her on a trampoline. And she came in second. But the boy who beat her score has a doctor and a professor for parents, so Alex figures she can't compete with that. But to be fair, her parents like CROCTOPUS! IN 3-D! Claire finally figures out Alex thinks they're stupid.
PHIL: Well, she's wrong.
CLAIRE: Is she? Honey, look how long it took us to figure out she insulted us.
In the morning, Jay decides to apologize to the Hoffmans. (I think that's what happened. Gloria was wearing some hot lingerie and I couldn't even remember my own name just then.) But Gloria realizes what she told the Hoffmans last night about Jay not being all there, so she has to stop him. However, she didn't think to stop Manny (Rico Rodriguez), who was geting asked sympathetic questions by the Hoffmans about Jay's deteriorating state. And since this is a sitcom, the Hoffmans think Manny's comments about Jay's golf game were about his mind. And Jay drinking orange juice from Manny's dribble glass didn't help matters. It scares the Hoffmans right out of the house.
Claire and Phil make it to the theatre, only to run into Sanjay Patel's parents, who was the kid that out-dueled Alex on the test. Mr. Patel took some time off from selling Fiber One cereal to see what movie the Dunphys were going to see. Coincidentally, they're seeing the same French film the Patels are. Claire figures they need to do this so they can encourage the kids intellectually.
CLAIRE: It's two hours. It's for the kids.
PHIL: Sometimes I hate our kids.
Phil bails on the French film, but Claire insists on sticking it out.
PHIL: While Claire watched one of the most highly-acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly-made schlock-fest with absolutely no redeeming value. And it was awesome! (take a guess who had more fun)
Phil tells Claire not to worry, since Alex still had one of the highest grades in the class, and dumb parents don't have kids that smart. And helping Mr. Patel work the parking validation machine helped, too.
Cam and Mitchell go to Tracy to ask her about the person she was with at the mall. Mitchell wants to meet him, but Tracy thinks it's a horrible idea because he didn't call her 8 years ago and just left her. Mitchell was sorry but insisted on meeting Bobby. Tracy relented and called Bobby in. Bobby isn't her child, but actually her red-haired dwarf husband. (Eric Stonestreet was right on his Twitter page. No way could you not laugh at that.) And the "Little Slugger" baseball mitt Mitchell brought didn't go over so well.
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