Photos
Quotes
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Will Schuester : Look, I really owe you an apology. I... I guess I kicked this year off thinking that all of us in the Glee Club weren't outcasts anymore, and I thought we'd be turning kids away. And then when no one signed up for the club, I realized that were still at the bottom; outsiders. And that's how I made you feel. I'm sorry.
Shannon Beiste : [taking the handshake he offers] Thank you.
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Finn Hudson : Hey, Coach, uh, this is Artie. He'd like to try out for the team.
Shannon Beiste : You screwing with me?
Finn Hudson : No. No. Absolutely not. Uh, see, we figured that if I push him down the field fast enough, the centrifugal...
Artie Abrams : [correcting his pronounciation] Centrifugal force.
Finn Hudson : Centrifugal force.
Shannon Beiste : You're out.
Finn Hudson : Wait. What?
Shannon Beiste : You're off the team, cut, out! You come in here pushing a kid in a wheelchair, making me look like some kind of monster because I have to tell him he can't play?
Finn Hudson : No. No, that's not what was going on here. Artie?
Artie Abrams : I really want to play.
[sheepishly]
Artie Abrams : I want my girlfriend back, and I want abs.
Finn Hudson : Yeah, he's like a human battering ram, like... like... Braveheart.
Shannon Beiste : You know what? I don't like being screwed with! Do you understand me?
Finn Hudson : Dude, you're totally overreacting.
Shannon Beiste : [insulted] Dude? Get the hell out of my locker room!
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Shannon Beiste : Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations is through a successful athletic department; specifically, a winning football team.
Sue Sylvester : Who's this?
Shannon Beiste : I'm Shannon Beiste. I'm the new football coach. Spelled B-E-I-S-T-E. It's French.
Will Schuester : I'm sorry, what happened to Ken Tanaka?
Principal Figgins : Nervous breakdown. Don't look at it as a punishment. Look at it as an investment into your clubs' futures. The more money the football program brings in, the more I can give back to you guys! Coach Beiste here is fresh off her fifth consecutive all-Missouri high school football championship. We've very lucky to have her!
Shannon Beiste : What can I say? I like a challenge.
Sue Sylvester : First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse, sin against nature. Number two, I'm sure you're used to hilbilly parents yelping adulation at you as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. But you're in my house now, Beiste. No one comes into my house and steals from me.
Shannon Beiste : Do not get up into a panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet.
Sue Sylvester : That doesn't make any sense.
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Will Schuester : Coach, uh, Beiste, I... I think you understand our frustration. Our budgets just got cut by ten percent.
Shannon Beiste : It should have been more! You think there's not something wrong when the cheerleaders' budget's higher than the people who they're cheering for?
Will Schuester : Well, sure, but the Glee Club is...
Shannon Beiste : The Glee Club? You came in third last year and you're asking for more money? That's a steer with six teats and no oink.
