- After Zatanna sends a magically spiked bottle of champagne to Clark and Lois for their bachelor/bachlorette parties, the gang blacks out after the toast, only to wake up the next morning and realize they can't remember anything about the night before. While trying to retrace their steps, Lois realizes she lost her engagement ring and drags Oliver back to the Fortune Casino where she thinks she lost it. The two run into Fortune, the eccentric casino owner, who accuses them of stealing money from him. Meanwhile, Clark tells Chloe he has a memory of stealing an armored truck the night before.—CW Publicity
- Lois makes her entrance in a wild leopard print outfit, at which Clark gawks appropriately. Clark then asks Lois if she has any second thoughts, to which Lois assures Clark that her dating search is over. Tess and Chloe enter, dressed for the occasion, and adorn Lois with her party Tiara. Chloe pronounces Clark the happiest she's ever seen him. Emil starts rolling the camera, as Oliver announces the limo's arrival and calls for a toast with a bottle of champagne. Chloe makes a toast first to the bride and groom and then to friends, to which everyone drinks laughing.
Fast forward to the morning after. A lemur is making crunching noises, as Clark opens his eyes to an upside-down room in his bedroom which looks the worse because, for him, it's spinning. The Blur's "S" is burned into the ceiling. Clark wipes his bleary eyes and notices the silver band on his ring finger; he's also wearing a crushed, half-open black tux. The sound of a crash hints for him to look in the closet, from where Chloe tumbles out, decked in a veil, short frilly wedding dress, and layers of white and silver costume jewelry.
Clark inspects Chloe's finger to find she is also wearing a ring and equally confused about how they got to where they are. Panicked, they question each other, even considering whether or not they have consummated what looks like their honeymoon. A quick search leads them back to the champagne bottle which has a note from Zatanna. They deduce that Zatanna charmed the champagne, which put a spell on all of them, complete with a memory charm. The phone rings, and Clark learns that his wallet is downtown. Clark and Chloe then go to the limo, which is now decorated with flowers and "just married" written on the side. Inside, Chloe finds half a marriage certificate, with her name inscribed upon it, as well as signed and printed at the bottom; Chloe concludes that Clark's name must appear on the other half.
At that moment, Clark sees a text message from Lois from the night before, which says "I just need more time." Chloe persuades Clark not to doubt what he has, that his relationship is in a solid place. Suddenly, two young girls pass by, clad in leather jackets with Elvis pictures, listening to an Elvis impostor crooning show tunes. Chloe stops the girls, and a closer look reveals that Elvis is none other than Emil, who seems to be an overnight success. Chloe notes the lead and tells Clark to meet at Watchtower.
The scene shifts to a casino club, where Elvis (Emil) and Tess, clad as a June Cash look-alike showgirl, are sharing the spotlight in a country rock song onstage. Clark enters, taking in the scene, when some police officers pull Emil off the stage and arrest him on charges of stealing an armored vehicle.
Lois and Oliver are asleep on railroad tracks in a shady part of town next to graffiti-covered architecture. We see a pair of feet, now clad in Lois's patent heels. After she walks off, Lois awakens by shoving Oliver's hand off her chest and shouting him awake. They are confused about last night's events as well, both with splitting migraines and without money, ID, or cellphones. Lois then discovers her engagement ring gone.
Back at Watchtower, Tess is popping hangover pills, her head beginning to clear. Looking for leads, they find that the armored car can be traced by sounding the alarm and having Clark catch the signal with his super hearing. His superpowers prove unnecessary, when the alarm beeps from inside his pocket. He traces the signal from the car back to no other location than the barn. When he opens the door, money plops onto the floor.
Lois and Oliver are walking, somewhat recovered, and Lois complains about how she needs her ring back. She then finds a chip in her pocket from "Metropolis Fortune Casino," a $500 token. They hitch a ride back to find the ring.
Back at Watchtower, Chloe has realized that since Emil's name has no trace in the current police records, Emil must not be in prison. Clark concludes that the "police officers" who arrested him must have been criminals posing as cops.
Sure enough, a tied up Emil is being beaten up by the drivers who want to know the whereabouts of their vehicle and the money. He claims ignorance until they show him footage from the night before that shows the rowdy crew. Chloe laughs as she watches the video of Clark doing damage to the guards by superspeeding over to them undetected by the camera. Emil is the last one shown in the video, so they assume he is the guilty one. Emil just looks on dumbfounded as he is further accused by the casino boss, Amos Fortune, of stealing his lemur.
Back inside the casino, Lois and Oliver arrive, seeking answers. Oliver suggests Lois was probably playing blackjack, which prompts Lois to guess she bet the ring in a game. Some security personnel tell her she shouldn't have come back here.
Lois catches sight of the casino boss, who is wearing her engagement ring. Lois is about to go ballistic, but is stopped by the security guards, who take her and Oliver to the back and tie them to each other on chairs. Oliver has Lois cooperate as he frees them from their duct tape chains. They go back out to the club scene, but are immediately spotted, so thinking quick, Oliver and Lois quickly don the spare risqué showgirl costumes and join the dance troop on stage.
Chloe and Clark enter, discussing how the Watchtower search gave results linking the casino personnel to various crimes. They then catch sight of their friends onstage, as does the casino boss.
As Oliver passes in drag, Amos Fortune comments on how good he looks. Amos then spots Chloe and yells that she was part of the group that stole his money. A chase ensues, and Lois makes use of the confusion to claim her ring back, which she does after some crawling on the floor. Oliver throws punches, as Chloe fires shots with two pistols she manages to take from Fortune's guards.
Meanwhile, in another room, the guards are about to crush Emil's head because he has figured out that the henchmen hijacked the truck, so that Fortune can pick up double from the insurance company. Clark rushes in to save Emil in the nick of time.
Back at the barn, safe and sound, Chloe informs Clark that the wedding chapel declared Clark's and Chloe's wedding a drunk prank. They relax and discuss the Lois-Clark relationship, with Chloe expressing her congratulations. Clark guesses that Chloe is thinking of leaving again. Chloe affirms that she doesn't feel she can be Watchtower again, but is afraid to break it to Oliver. She proposes instead that she wants to be a hero guide, who finds potentials and helps them explore it. Clark assures her that he will support her, but that they should be there for each other no matter what. Chloe then reveals that she is "The Star City Register's newest hire" and agrees to be there as well.
Emil is typing away rapidly in Watchtower. Tess enters and jokingly greets him as a "hound dog" who "really took this town by surprise." Emil sort of grunts in acknowledgment at first, but then softens when Tess expresses how pleasant she found this other side of Emil, especially his singing talent. He nods and in a moment of mutual understanding confides that his late wife enjoyed it. Tess says that Emil should nurture his talent because his wife would have wanted that. Lois barges in, breaking up the tete-a-tete, and Emil goes back to typing shyly, as if caught.
Lois has Emil's camera with the yet to be seen footage from last night. Ironically, Oliver uses the opportunity to suggest more spirits for the crew, but they opt for cider for the occasion instead. Lois confesses to Clark that she bet the ring, Clark tells Lois " the ring is not important, you are." He confesses that he was worried that he had scared Lois off. She accepts that she has runaway bride syndrome, to which Clark assures her that " I am going to want to marry you in 5 days or 5 years." She is happy. And the slightly damaged video starts rolling.
In the film, a drunken Clark sobers up enough to tell Lois who is watching the video "Lois if you are watching this 20 years from now, you are the love of my life". There's a lot of general partying, laughing, goofing around, and falling over each other. The film cuts to Clark and Oliver discussing rings in the bathroom. Oliver is telling Clark that ambiguous "she" deserves better than the $20 ring Clark is holding. He then sees Emil and tells the Blair Witch Project to hit the road.
Next, we see footage of Clark retrieving a statue of the LuthorCorp logo with superspeed, and everyone laughs him on. Oliver approaches Lois and asks her for some help, and the two run off in the video. The mugging scene rolls, and we see the same details of Chloe in her wedding dress, laughing Clark on as he flashes to the newly understood staged crime scene, halts it, and returns with Fortune's pet lemur. Visibly upset watching the film, Chloe suddenly leaves the room, but no one notices, because it is dark, and the film is too exciting and entertaining. Except Oliver, who hurries out after her. We see the TV screen again, and in one scene, Emil is in sunglasses, next to a bottle, drawling about being "The King."
In the next scene, he is in his boxers. Watching the video, Tess is smiling, until she hears herself laughing in the background. She jolts up, as she watches Emil shaking his pelvis for her, as she cheers him on. He flirtingly taunts "you don't got what I got." Tess sways seductively back in her negligee. Tess turns tiger-like and pushes the camera onto the dresser so Emil can put his arms around her. Back in real time, a mortified Emil and Tess make a scramble for the power and volume buttons in front of shocked Lois and Clark. The film keeps rolling, showing Tess and Emil getting on further, lying down and kissing passionately as Tess leans her head back underneath Emil. They start gyrating rhythmically, as Emil sucks Tess's neck...They cut the film, but the obvious has already been stated.
Outside, Oliver calls after Chloe and accuses her of running off. She plays dumb, but without guile. They share a look, and Oliver tells Chloe that he never intended for Chloe to sit up in Watchtower for the rest of her life. He then pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to her. Chloe unfolds the other half of the marriage certificate she thought was hers and Clark's; it has Oliver's name written on it, with his signature at the bottom. She then displays the other half, which she must have been keeping with her, thus revealing that Chloe and Oliver are legally married. Oliver then stated, "I don't know what you're thinking, but I hope it's not that you're gonna run off without your husband. You didn't take that job in my hometown for nothing." Chloe smiled and they shared a kiss before walking off to leave town as husband and wife.
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