The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Spaghetti Catalyst (2010)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Just to be clear, do I have to stop saying "coitus" with everyone or just you?
Penny : Everyone.
Sheldon Cooper : Harsh terms, but alright. I'll just substitute "intercourse"
Penny : [sarcastic] Great.
Sheldon Cooper : or "fornication". But that has judgemental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.
Penny : So, how you been?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Penny : You're just coitusing with me, aren't you?
Sheldon Cooper : Bazinga!
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Leonard Hofstadter : Whatever you do, don't let him near Goofy. He'll have nightmares and I'll be the one having to deal with it.
Penny : What's his problem with Goofy?
Leonard Hofstadter : You got me. He's fine with Pluto.
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Sheldon Cooper : I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny : Yep.
Sheldon Cooper : That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.
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Penny : He's such an angel when he's asleep.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.
Penny : I think we can do it.
Leonard Hofstadter : Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn't that be wrong?
Penny : No, be friends. You and me.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh. Sure. Absolutely.
Penny : Good. I'm glad.
Leonard Hofstadter : Here's an idea. I'm just throwing it out there, friends who have sex.
Penny : Good night, Leonard.
Leonard Hofstadter : Good night.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Coming into the apartment lobby] Uh oh.
Penny : [Standing by the mail boxes] What?
Sheldon Cooper : [Still at the doors] I was going to get my mail.
Penny : Okay.
[Sheldon doesn't move]
Penny : Are you hoping to get it telepathically?
Sheldon Cooper : I think you mean telekenitically. And no.
[Moves to the mail boxes]
Sheldon Cooper : I just wasn't sure of the protocol now that you an Leonard are no longer having coitus.
Penny : God, can we please just say "No longer seeing each other"?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, we could if it were true, but as you live in the same building you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed... is the coitus.
Penny : Okay, here's the protocol: You and I are still friends and you stop saying "coitus".
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Penny : How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon Cooper : He seems alright, although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Although, now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm also pleased to report that he's all cried out over you.
Penny : He's been crying?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn't supposed to mention.
