- Philip J. Fry: So Leela's all crotchety because she thinks I don't like her in the Professor's disgusting body.
- Hermes Conrad: You do, don't you?
- Philip J. Fry: Of course, but I was willing to lie about it. What more can a man do?
- Hermes Conrad: You could switch your mind into a gross, disgusting body, give her a toke of her own medicine.
- Philip J. Fry: Of course! But it would have to be a really disgusting body.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Friends, look! I have barnacles in my tuckus.
- Hermes Conrad: The long search is over.
- Hermes Conrad: [Watching Amy eat in Leela's body, which is now obese] Sweet orca of Majorca! You make Fat Albert look like Regular Albert!
- Amy Wong: I know! But I can't help myself.
- Hermes Conrad: Here, put your mind in my body.
- Amy Wong: No! I'll ruin your body too!
- Hermes Conrad: Three decades of the munchies beat you to it.
- Emperor Nikolai: I'm supposed to give a speech at the UN tomorrow. Can I trust you to do it?
- Bender: You can trust anything.