- Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you know that the iconic Valentine's heart shape is not actually based on the shape of a human heart, but rather on the shape of the buttocks of a female bending over?
- Penny: So I spent seventh grade dotting my I's with little asses?
- [Amy nods]
- Penny: Cool.
- Sheldon Cooper: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
- Raj Koothrappali: Five million, three hundred eighteen thousand and eight?
- Sheldon Cooper: Wrong. The best number is 73. You're probably wondering why.
- Howard Wolowitz: No.
- Raj Koothrappali: We're good.
- Sheldon Cooper: 73 is the 21st prime number. Its mirror, 37, is the 12th, and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying - hang on to your hats - seven and three. Heh? Heh? Did I lie?
- Leonard Hofstadter: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
- Sheldon Cooper: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome: 1001001, which backwards is 1001001. Exactly the same. All Chuck Norris backwards gets you is "sirron kcuhc."
- Raj Koothrappali: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down, it spells "boobies."
- Sheldon Cooper: Aren't you slicing that man's brain a little too thin?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's too thin if I were making a foot-long brain sandwich at Quizno's. For examination under a two photon microscope, it's fine.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, you're the expert. If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Very well. If you die and donate your body to science, I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.
- Sheldon Cooper: What were the symptoms?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Elevated heart rate, moist palms, dry mouth, and localized vascular throbbing.
- Sheldon Cooper: Localized to what region?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Ears and genitalia.
- Sheldon Cooper: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up.
- Sheldon Cooper: Possible explanations for your symptoms are, in descending order of likelihood: hyperthyroidism, premature menopause, hosting an alien parasite, or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases... sexual arousal.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?
- Penny: Are you saying that Amy is... oh, what's the scientific word...
- Sheldon Cooper: Forget science. She's horny.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, I am not going through menopause!
- Sheldon Cooper: Are you sure? You said that with the testy bark of an old biddy.
- Penny: I'm suggesting there might be something you could do about Amy's... urges.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's illegal to spay a human being.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: How do you know him?
- Penny: Oh, we went out a couple times.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm often flummoxed by current slang. Does 'went out' mean 'had intercourse'?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yes,
- Penny: No, no. But in this case yes.
- Penny: [about Zack] He just didn't really challenge me on an intellectual level.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
- Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack can't even spell NPR.
- [last lines]
- Raj Koothrappali: You realize you can't win.
- Howard Wolowitz: I prefer to think that I can't lose.
- Raj Koothrappali: You're wrong. It's only a matter of time before you fall into Rat Man's Rat Trap.
- Howard Wolowitz: You pathetic fool, if there were a rat catcher wouldn't it catch Rat Man?
- Raj Koothrappali: Just because I didn't express myself well doesn't mean my underlying point wasn't valid, you bloviating buffoon.
- Howard Wolowitz: You narcissistic nincompoop.
- Raj Koothrappali: You crimson coward. Oh, Leonard, wake up; you're missing some very excellent superhero quips.
- Sheldon Cooper: Clarify something for me. Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions? An opportunity to consider important issues of the day?
- Leonard Hofstadter: It is. You just kind of put a damper on things when you said, "The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death."
- Howard Wolowitz: Who'd want to become Ratman?
- Raj Koothrappali: Who wouldn't. You could zip through a maze in nothing flat, squeeze through really small holes, and shut down restaurants in a single bound. And the best part of it is, if I were Ratman, you could be my sidekick, Mouse Boy.
- Howard Wolowitz: Mouse Boy?
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, you don't like Mouse Boy? How about Kid Vermin?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night. I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge. Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason. And yet here I stand before you, 130 pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus, and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.
- Zack: My gluteus what?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape-like expression on your face, I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinahr. Goodbye, Zack.
- Zack: Bye.
- [They shake hands]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hoo-ooh!
- [Amy turns and limps away]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That should hold me for awhile.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I think we need to face the cold hard truth. I was sexually aroused by Penny's friend, Zack.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hang on, I don't know that we've given the alien parasite hypothesis a fair shake.