The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Love Car Displacement (2011)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept: "Don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat."

  Amy Farrah Fowler : That does seem to be a valid principle.

  Sheldon Cooper : I trust Penny will adhere to the official California Restaurant Workers' Solemn Oath of Ethics and Cleanliness.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I don't believe there's any such thing.

  Sheldon Cooper : [Incredulous, to Leonard]  You lied to me?

• Sheldon Cooper : [turns on the light]  Please tell me you're not having coitus.

  Penny : We are not having coitus.

  Sheldon Cooper : And you can guarantee that it won't happen at any time during the night?

  Penny : Yes.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Shame. Since you're my best friend, I thought it would be a good bonding opportunity.

  Penny : I'm your best friend?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Don't you read my blog?

  Penny : Oh, don't feel bad. I never read Leonard's, and I used to sleep with him.

• Leonard Hofstadter : [Referring to her sleeping in he and Sheldon's room]  So, how do you wanna do this?

  Penny : Well, I'm not getting in bed with him.

  [Sheldon is asleep on his back, with the sheets tucked into him, and with a sleep mask on] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, it is a little like getting into Dracula's coffin.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Trying to steer away from Bernadette and Howard's bickering]  Um, Dr. Koothrappali, would you like to weigh in on the matter?

  Raj Koothrappali : [Holding his drink]  Why certainly. I'd like to raise two points. Number one, I think they are talking about penises. And number two, these mimosas are kicking my little brown ass!

  Leonard Hofstadter : [Coldly to him]  I'd like to kick your little brown ass.

  Raj Koothrappali : What did I do?

  Leonard Hofstadter : [Sarcastically]  Oh, I don't know. Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and see a guy getting back with his girlfriend, you should maybe do something other than crawl into the other bed.

  Raj Koothrappali : I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

  Penny : [From the audience]  We weren't getting back together. It was a one-off fling.

  Sheldon Cooper : Um, we're not yet taking questions from the audience.

  Penny : Oh, *shut up*, Sheldon!

• Penny : [Moves to hug Amy after Amy invites her to go to Big Sur]  You know, it is going to be difficult, but I am going to cancel my plans so I can do this for my 'bestie'.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : [Somewhat coldly]  Please don't touch my breasts!

  Penny : I... I wasn't going to.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : All right. I just want to establish boundaries.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : [to Penny, who had turned down Amy's offer to be her plus-one for the science symposium everyone else is going to]  Do you know anybody else who would appreciate an all expense paid spa getaway to a four-star hotel in Big Sur?

  Penny : No, as... I'm sorry free what? Sorry, what what?

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to Amy]  I think her weekend just opened up.

  Penny : Okay, just to be clear, when you guys say 'spa', does it mean the same as when regular people say it?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Pretty much, only we keep our shirts on in the sauna.

• Penny : [First lines; coming up to their table at the Cheesecake Factory]  Hey! So are we ready to order?

  Sheldon Cooper : Since we come in here every Tuesday at 6pm and it's now 6:08, your question not only answers itself, but also goes along with other non-sensical queries, like "Who let the dogs out?", or "How are they hanging?"

  Penny : [Marking her order tablet]  Ooookay, so the usual with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Trying to get the symposium back on track]  Let's open it up to the audience for a Q&A session.

  Penny : [In the audience]  Yeah, I have a question. Is there anyone who can get me the hell out of here and back to Los Angeles tonight?

  Glenn : [Also in the audience]  I'm driving back to L.A. tonight.

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : [Pointing them out to each other]  Um, Penny, that's Glen. Glen, that's Penny.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [Jumps up]  NO!

• Bernadette Rostenkowski : Can I stay here tonight?

  Penny : Yeah. Why, what happened?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Howard's a complete and total ass.

  Penny : Oh yeah, that. Come on in.

• Penny : Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand. From the waist down, my shields are up.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Got it. Got it... . We can do all kinds of stuff from the waist up, you know?