- Owen Thoreau Jr.: How is Erin even back in the picture? You said she went back to her boyfriend. What happened?
- Terry Elliott: She said she knew right away that she'd made a mistake. Hey, look, she tried to make it work for five years. I mean, there was just no magic there.
- Owen Thoreau Jr.: You're magical?
- Terry Elliott: What can I say? She can't live without me.
- Joe Tranelli: Oh, god, really? I've been with you five minutes and I want out.
- Owen Thoreau Jr.: You still watching the guys? How'd you get my password?
- Melissa: You mean "Funkyman123", your password for everything?
- Owen Thoreau Jr.: Oh, I guess not anymore.
- Melissa: Anyway, the good news it that your salesmen are doing better. Bad news, it's really boring.
- Owen Thoreau Jr.: Yeah, I think I'm gonna, um, pull all those cameras out at the end of the week.
- Melissa: No! You're canceling my favorite show?
- Erin Riley: You know you're up early when you beat a teacher out of bed.
- Terry Elliott: Good morning. I told Owen I'd take the early shift.
- [as he leans down to kiss her, she covers her mouth]
- Erin Riley: Oh, dragon breath, no.
- Terry Elliott: You don't scare me. I just had coffee.
- Joe Tranelli: You gonna eat or what?
- Owen Thoreau Jr.: Nah, I'm not hungry.
- Joe Tranelli: Come on, man. You keep this up, I'm not gonna be able to do fat jokes. That's, like, half my repertoire.
- Albert: We were thinking of changing the name of our band to "Free Money".
- Lucy: Lame.
- Albert: No, no, it's good, because then we can make posters that say "Free Money - Saturday Night!"
- Lucy: That's lame.
- Albert: No, it's a joke. You don't get it.
- Lucy: I get it.
- Albert: Then admit that it's genius.
- Lucy: Dad, you're not actually gonna let him do that, are you?
- Joe Tranelli: Well, I'm not gonna stand in the way of genius.
- Albert: [laughing] Burn!
- Joe Tranelli: Burn! You got burned, girl. Do this.
- Albert: [they fist bump] Oh, yeah.
- Lucy: [laughing] You are the lamest father/son combo ever.
- Joe Tranelli: You got that right. Mostly me, though.