American Dad! (TV Series)

The People vs. Martin Sugar (2010)

Wendy Schaal: Francine Smith

Quotes 

• Francine Smith : Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.

• Stan Smith : [to Francine]  Where's Steve? I want to see how my fantasy basketball team is doing.

  Francine Smith : Well, he understood the fantasy part, but had no idea what basketball was. He tried to add three griffins and an orc to your roster.

  Stan Smith : Fucking nerd.

• Stan Smith : Now, while I'm gone, I need you to manage my fantasy basketball team.

  Francine Smith : Can I make any trades?

  Stan Smith : No. Just set the lineup.

  Francine Smith : Stan, you need a power forward.

  Stan Smith : I have Dirk Nowitzki.

  Francine Smith : He's soft, Stan. You need a thug. You need Ron Artest.

  Stan Smith : I don't want Ron Artest. You know what, forget it. I'll have Steve set my lineup.

  Francine Smith : Fine. Let that nerd set your lineup. Watch you lose.

• Jeff Fischer : [after Jeff is caught masturbating in the bathroom by Francine and Klaus]  I'm sorry, but when I'm not smoking pot, I suffer from HLS, Hyperactive Libido Syndrome. When it hits, I got to get busy right away.

  Francine Smith : If you're gonna do that in this house, you'll do it where everyone else in this family does it: in Steve's bed.

  Steve Smith : [off-screen]  What?

• Francine Smith : Hayley, I think we need to have a little mother-daughter talk.

  Hayley Smith : Okay.

  Francine Smith : Your husband's "condition" is way out of control. Bottom line, you need to start satisfying him more, sweetie.

  Hayley Smith : But, Mom, I satisfy him all the time.

  Francine Smith : Well, then you got to do it better. Get creative, Hayley. Use your pinky.

  Hayley Smith : I'm using my pinky, Mom.

  Francine Smith : I don't think you're using your pinky.

  Hayley Smith : I told you I'm using it.

  Francine Smith : But are you really using your pinky? I don't think so!

  [brings out a tub of lube] 

  Francine Smith : Get. Up. In. There.