- Wesley: I don't want to go back to England. I can't suffer through the London Olympics. We're not prepared, Liz! Did you see the Beijing Opening Ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that.
- Cerie: Liz, I want you to meet the guy that you're going to be sitting next to tomorrow. He's told me his name, like, a million times, but I keep forgetting it.
- Wesley: It's Wesley!
- Liz Lemon: [Liz recognizes him] No!
- Wesley: I knew you'd be back.
- Liz Lemon: No, I'm not back, Wesley.
- Wesley: Oh, of course. Because you said you could find someone better than me. Mm-hmm. Well, where is he?
- [looks around in an exaggerated way]
- Liz Lemon: Stop doing that. You look idiotic.
- Wesley: Of course I do. Excellent pantomime is supposed to look idiotic.
- Jack Donaghy: It's gonna be a who's who of New York royalty. The Astors, the Rockefellers, the Sbarros...
- Avery Jessup: I know, and it kills me. You think I don't want to know what Pizzarina Sbarro will be wearing?
- Tracy Jordan: It's all coming back to me! Oh, my God! I slept on a dog bed stuffed with wigs! I saw a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A ribcage! Why did you bring me here? I locked out those memories for a reason! Oh, Lord! A guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!
- Dr. Drew Baird: Would you like a drink?
- Liz Lemon: What goes best with second chances? Ugh, water. I'll have water.
- Jack Donaghy: I can promise you this weekend will be filled with staring out windows while holding a glass of scotch.
- Avery Jessup: That means a lot to me.
- Avery Jessup: Well, if you must know, I'm on Dodecacil. The pill where you only get your period once a year.
- Jack Donaghy: Ugh! We're so close to beating that thing completely.
- Jack Donaghy: Avery is cool, collected, descended from Swedish valley people. Nancy is a fiery Irish nut job, descended from bog people!
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: Are you doing a reading, too? I'm Mike. I'm friends with Floyd.
- Liz Lemon: Hi.
- [pause]
- Liz Lemon: Excuse me, do you have a job? And are you here with someone?
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: Uh, I'm a lawyer. And I'm single.
- Liz Lemon: OK, friend, here's the deal. My name is Liz. I almost got 1200 on my SATs. And I need a date for this wedding. And I like your head shape. What do you say?
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: I'd love to be your date, Liz.
- Liz Lemon: OK.
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: I like how forward you are. Now may I tell you something? I'm a plushie.
- Liz Lemon: Is that a fraternity?
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: Kind of. It means I belong to a group of like-minded people who dress up in mascot costumes.
- Liz Lemon: OK.
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: And have orgies in hotel rooms and state parks.
- Liz Lemon: There it is.
- Astronaut Mike Dexter: Our term for intercourse is "yiffing."
- Liz Lemon: I've been setting my standards too high.
- Frank Rossitano: Yes, you have. Meet me in the handicap stall in five minutes.
- Tracy Jordan: Well, I'm sorry, Sean, and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes! All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen: I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A guy in dreads electrocuted my fish! a crackhead breast-feeding a rat! A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal!
- Liz Lemon: Three weddings in one day. I'm going to be in Spanx for twelve hours. My elastic line is going to get infected again.
- Tracy Jordan: Why are we here? I thought we were going somewhere boring. This is an awesome copy shop.
- Liz Lemon: [Drew has hooks in place of hands] How did this happen?
- Dr. Drew Baird: Uh, freak accident. You know I work with Doctors Without Borders. Well, I was helicoptering into Zimbabwe when I thought I saw somebody that I knew. So I waved from the helicopter, which, it turns out, is a big no-no, and the rotor took my right hand clean off. And it turns out the person I was waving to was not my old football coach.
- Liz Lemon: Of course not. You were in Zimbabwe.
- Dr. Drew Baird: Well, it looked just like a black version of him.
- Liz Lemon: What about the other hand?
- Dr. Drew Baird: Oh, well, to celebrate my return from Africa, my cousin and I bought a bunch of fireworks...
- Liz Lemon: You know what? This was a bad idea. I should just go.