Royal Pains (TV Series)

The Hankover (2010)

Mark Feuerstein: Hank Lawson

Quotes 

• Evan R. Lawson : You've gotta come. Right now.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : I'm kind of busy here.

  Evan R. Lawson : No, this can't wait. The stripper stole my van. And I think I killed Raj.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : You led with the van?

• Hank Lawson : How do we explain to people that Wikipedia does not have a medical degree?

  Evan R. Lawson : We could refer them to HankMed.com, which does.

  [Karma, the client with the dislocated shoulder, arrives and some dialogue of recognition passes] 

  Hank Lawson : Where's your sling?

  Michelle : I heard that once my shoulder felt okay I could just lose it.

  Hank Lawson : Where did you heard that?

  Michelle : Wikipedia.

• [Hank meets his childhood bully, now an adult] 

  Hank Lawson : I mean, I was sure as time went by he'd get what he deserved - and it didn't have to be federal prison. You know, I would have been fine with bald and broke and still stuck living in Passaic.

  Divya Katdare : Well, it looks like he's done okay.

  Hank Lawson : Yeah...

  Divya Katdare : But, then again, so have you.

  Hank Lawson : I never told anyone that he hit me, but I promised myself that one day I'd return the favor.

  Divya Katdare : What, and break his nose?

  Hank Lawson : Well...

  Divya Katdare : Well, thank goodness you've outgrown that adolescent fantasy.

  Hank Lawson : Yeah. Yeah.

  Hank Lawson : [grins, getting caught up in a mental visualization of that very fantasy]  Let's schedule a follow-up.

• Divya Katdare : [regarding Hank's uncharacteristically flippant treatment of a client]  Okay, what was that about?

  Hank Lawson : What? The guy bugged me.

  Divya Katdare : How?

  Hank Lawson : By stealing my lunch money and my lunch, copying my homework, cheating off my tests, ransacking my locker, and breaking my nose.

  Divya Katdare : All that happened while I was using his bathroom?

• Hank Lawson : [slipping a dollar into Evan's pocket]  You know, don't quit your day job there, Cinnamon.

• Evan R. Lawson : Still, it is an arranged marriage. Like, what if Raj takes her for granted?

  Hank Lawson : It's not fair to judge the guy. We hardly know him.

  Evan R. Lawson : That's when I do my best judging.

• Evan R. Lawson : I just had a brainstorm.

  Hank Lawson : I didn't think storms could occur in a vacuum.

• Evan R. Lawson : [about their planned clinic]  Guys, none of this can happen until I have data for use of proceeds analysis, mapping out a service area...

  Hank Lawson : Well, you can wait here for the data to come visit YOU, or you can join us and get it boots on the ground.

• Dr. Emily Peck : You're not gonna reset his fracture right now, are you?

  Hank Lawson : I am.

  Dr. Emily Peck : Don't you think it's advisable to wait for the swelling to go down first?

  Ken Keller : Is it?

  Hank Lawson : Not with a deformity this markedly displaced.

  [to Emily] 

  Hank Lawson : He can't breathe through it.

  Dr. Emily Peck : He has a mouth.

  Hank Lawson : So do I, and while it thanks you for the second opinion, this fracture needs realigning now.

  Ken Keller : Okay, but let me just ask you, is this gonna hurt...?

  [Hank twists his nose to the side then pulls] 

  Ken Keller : OW! UGH!

  Hank Lawson : What were you gonna ask?