Community (TV Series)
Pascal's Triangle Revisited (2010)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Annie Edison : I can't believe I made it through my first year of college. I finally get to click send on so many I-told-you-so e-mails.
Jeff Winger : Yeah, it's pretty great. Not much could ruin today.
Dean Pelton : [jumps out of the bushes] HI!
Jeff Winger : Oh no, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him.
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Jeff Winger : More importantly, our very own Britta Perry, it turns out, has been nominated for transfer queen.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, that's nice!
Britta Perry : What the hell is a transfer queen?
Annie Edison : Like prom queen. You wear a sash, and there's a vote. If you win they put a crown on your head. And I am so jealous that I wanna murder you. Aren't you excited?
Britta Perry : No. How did I get nominated?
Shirley Bennett : Don't let it upset you, Britta. It's the last day of the semester. Nothing can ruin that.
Dean Pelton : [popping up in the room] HI!
Jeff Winger : Amazing. He's like an evil genie.
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Dean Pelton : Just spreading the news. Some folks say "transfer formal" isn't really rolling off the tongue, so we're just gonna call it the "tranny dance"!
Jeff Winger : Much more Greendale.
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Professor Michelle Slater : You probably don't wanna talk to me.
Jeff Winger : It's not junior high. We're mature adults, Michelle. We can talk.
Professor Michelle Slater : I think I handled our breakup poorly.
Jeff Winger : Before I respond to that, I'll have to take an extra-strength vitamin duh.
[takes a fake pill and swallows]
Jeff Winger : Duh.
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Jeff Winger : I thought you left.
Annie Edison : I couldn't go.
Jeff Winger : What happened?
Annie Edison : I guess, we were driving away, I finally started living in the moment and I realized that, in the moment, Greendale is where I belong. What are you doing out here?
Jeff Winger : Oh, you know, Britta and Slater told me they loved me.
Annie Edison : Really?
Jeff Winger : Yeah.
Annie Edison : What did you do?
Jeff Winger : I ran away. I don't know. It's hard. Slater makes me feel like I do when I write my New Year's resolutions. She makes me feel like the guy I want to be. And Britta makes me feel like the guy I am three weeks after the New Year's, when I'm back to hitting my snooze button and screening my Mom's phone calls. Back to who I really am. So do you try to evolve, or do you try to know what you are?
Annie Edison : I don't know. I wish I could live two lives. One of me would go with Vaughn, one of me could stay here.
Jeff Winger : One of me could be back with Slater, and the other could try it with Britta. Then we could all get together for some weird foursome. Um, I guess I gotta go deal with it.
Annie Edison : Good luck.
Jeff Winger : I'm glad you're staying.
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Professor Ian Duncan : Senor Chang... is there a word in Spanish for someone who used to pretend to be a professor, but was a teacher, but wasn't actually a teacher, and he's now a student? Is there a word for that? Oh, if it was in Spanish, you wouldn't know, would you?
[Ben draws back to throw a punch]
Professor Ian Duncan : Ah, bup, bup, bup. Hit a professor, you'll get expelled.
Señor Chang : I will find a loophole.
Professor Ian Duncan : Oh, good luck with that.
Señor Chang : [whispers] Then I'll kill you.
Professor Ian Duncan : Good.
Jeff Winger : Dudley Moore.
Professor Ian Duncan : Spray tan. I'd go easy on that punch if I was you. I've put in a little...
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Jeff Winger : [Troy groans] What's wrong with you?
Troy Barnes : I'm sick. I don't know why.
Jeff Winger : Have you considered the 60" diameter cookie you're eating?
Troy Barnes : [scoffs] How can something that's delicious make me sick?
[epiphany]
Troy Barnes : Unless too much of a good thing... is actually a bad thing. My friendship with Abed is a giant cookie.
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Jeff Winger : [embraces Annie] We're gonna miss you.
Annie Edison : Yeah, you're the one that didn't even want me in the study group.
Jeff Winger : Come on, that's not true.
Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah, none of us did.
[Shirley elbows Pierce]
Pierce Hawthorne : I say things others won't. That has value.
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Troy Barnes : Hey, man. How's it going? Uh... don't shoot the messenger, but everyone at this dance is kind of waiting for your reaction to all this.
Jeff Winger : Look, I'm trying to think, okay?
Troy Barnes : Yeah, that's cool. Take your time.
[softly to Michelle]
Troy Barnes : Hey, how's it going? You look great.
[normal voice]
Troy Barnes : Very fatal attraction.
Professor Michelle Slater : Ah. Thanks.
