Community (TV Series)
Pascal's Triangle Revisited (2010)
Jim Rash: Dean Pelton
Photos
Quotes
-
Annie Edison : I can't believe I made it through my first year of college. I finally get to click send on so many I-told-you-so e-mails.
Jeff Winger : Yeah, it's pretty great. Not much could ruin today.
Dean Pelton : [jumps out of the bushes] HI!
Jeff Winger : Oh no, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him.
-
Professor Michelle Slater : Yo, Goldilocks. Drop the smirk. I know about your grungy tumble, and I'm sure it was the highlight of your diary, but it was during a pit stop in something real.
Britta Perry : You were the pit stop. He used you to numb the pain of not getting with me. Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. He's been to flavor country now. They should retire the table we did it on.
Shirley Bennett : [spit-take as she passes by] Table?
Dean Pelton : Miss Britta Perry!
[applause]
Britta Perry : Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go. I just won a contest for being hot.
[on-stage, grabs mic and gasps]
Britta Perry : Oh, wow. This is a huge honor. This may come as a surprise to you, but I've never actually won anything before.
Dean Pelton : Okay, well, you still haven't. I'm just listing the nominees, so not a great time to get cocky. Okay. Christine Hollinsworth!
[Light applause]
Dean Pelton : [Michelle approaches Jeff] Britney Baker!
[Cheers and applause]
Dean Pelton : [Britta exits stage embarrassed and bewildered] Miss Danielle Harmond!
[Applause]
Dean Pelton : [Michelle kisses Jeff] Amy Sm...
Britta Perry : [returns on-stage and grabs mic] Jeff Winger, do not get back with Slater. I love you.
[gasps from the audience]
Señor Chang : Psst, psst, Britta. Britta! Your lipstick looks better.
-
Jeff Winger : More importantly, our very own Britta Perry, it turns out, has been nominated for transfer queen.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, that's nice!
Britta Perry : What the hell is a transfer queen?
Annie Edison : Like prom queen. You wear a sash, and there's a vote. If you win they put a crown on your head. And I am so jealous that I wanna murder you. Aren't you excited?
Britta Perry : No. How did I get nominated?
Shirley Bennett : Don't let it upset you, Britta. It's the last day of the semester. Nothing can ruin that.
Dean Pelton : [popping up in the room] HI!
Jeff Winger : Amazing. He's like an evil genie.
-
Dean Pelton : Just spreading the news. Some folks say "transfer formal" isn't really rolling off the tongue, so we're just gonna call it the "tranny dance"!
Jeff Winger : Much more Greendale.
-
Professor Ian Duncan : [drunkenly] Everybody sh... everybody close their faces. All right, he's got a lot on his mind. Leave him alone. Oka... I got it from here. My name is Professor Ian Duncan, and I would like to rap for you.
Dean Pelton : No.
Professor Ian Duncan : Drop a beat.
[hip-hop music]
Professor Ian Duncan : Uh-oh, uh-oh. My name is Ian Duncan, and I'm here to say / I'm going to rap to the beat in a rapping way / I've got a real big penis, and I drink lots of tea
Dean Pelton : Oh, okay. Okay, okay. No, no, no, you know what, Duncan?
Professor Ian Duncan : What?
Dean Pelton : That's enough.
Professor Ian Duncan : Why?
Dean Pelton : You have a problem.
Professor Ian Duncan : Oh, I have a problem?
Dean Pelton : Yes.
Professor Ian Duncan : Who is it here who has a Dalmatian fetish?
Dean Pelton : Oh, ok... okay. Well, that is a oversimplification, and you are suspended.
Professor Ian Duncan : Oh, come on.
Señor Chang : Oh, not a teacher anymore. What's this?
Professor Ian Duncan : A roll of quarters. Why? Funny question.
[Ben makes a fist around the roll of quarters and punches Ian in the chin, then jumps on Ian's back]
Professor Ian Duncan : Oh, man!
Dean Pelton : Friends, help me, friends! Help me!
Professor Ian Duncan : He's on me! He's on me!
