Community (TV Series)

Pascal's Triangle Revisited (2010)

Lauren Stamile: Professor Michelle Slater

Photos 

Quotes 

• Professor Michelle Slater : Yo, Goldilocks. Drop the smirk. I know about your grungy tumble, and I'm sure it was the highlight of your diary, but it was during a pit stop in something real.

  Britta Perry : You were the pit stop. He used you to numb the pain of not getting with me. Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. He's been to flavor country now. They should retire the table we did it on.

  Shirley Bennett : [spit-take as she passes by]  Table?

  Dean Pelton : Miss Britta Perry!

  [applause] 

  Britta Perry : Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go. I just won a contest for being hot.

  [on-stage, grabs mic and gasps] 

  Britta Perry : Oh, wow. This is a huge honor. This may come as a surprise to you, but I've never actually won anything before.

  Dean Pelton : Okay, well, you still haven't. I'm just listing the nominees, so not a great time to get cocky. Okay. Christine Hollinsworth!

  [Light applause] 

  Dean Pelton : [Michelle approaches Jeff]  Britney Baker!

  [Cheers and applause] 

  Dean Pelton : [Britta exits stage embarrassed and bewildered]  Miss Danielle Harmond!

  [Applause] 

  Dean Pelton : [Michelle kisses Jeff]  Amy Sm...

  Britta Perry : [returns on-stage and grabs mic]  Jeff Winger, do not get back with Slater. I love you.

  [gasps from the audience] 

  Señor Chang : Psst, psst, Britta. Britta! Your lipstick looks better.

• Professor Michelle Slater : You probably don't wanna talk to me.

  Jeff Winger : It's not junior high. We're mature adults, Michelle. We can talk.

  Professor Michelle Slater : I think I handled our breakup poorly.

  Jeff Winger : Before I respond to that, I'll have to take an extra-strength vitamin duh.

  [takes a fake pill and swallows] 

  Jeff Winger : Duh.

• Professor Ian Duncan : Good evening, Michelle... or may I say, "Meow-chelle"?

  Professor Michelle Slater : [talking to an obviously drunk Duncan]  Who has your car keys?

  Professor Ian Duncan : They're in the taco meat. Now, what say you and I blow this pop stand and head off for a spot of slap n' tickle?

  [whispering] 

  Professor Ian Duncan : I mean sex, in case the lingo hasn't made it to the States.

  Professor Michelle Slater : I think I'm probably leaving here with Jeff.

  Professor Ian Duncan : Really? I'm sorry, I just... just assumed that you two were done, since, uh...

  [clears throat] 

  Professor Ian Duncan : Jeff and Britta did, uh, the Yankee Doodle. Oh, don't tell me that didn't make it to the States. It clearly originated here.

• Troy Barnes : Hey, man. How's it going? Uh... don't shoot the messenger, but everyone at this dance is kind of waiting for your reaction to all this.

  Jeff Winger : Look, I'm trying to think, okay?

  Troy Barnes : Yeah, that's cool. Take your time.

  [softly to Michelle] 

  Troy Barnes : Hey, how's it going? You look great.

  [normal voice] 

  Troy Barnes : Very fatal attraction.

  Professor Michelle Slater : Ah. Thanks.