Psych (TV Series)
Not Even Close... Encounters (2010)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Looks like the software business has been good to you, Dennis.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [Upon seeing Dennis' wife walks down the steps in a bikini] Very good.
Molly Gogolack : Oh, hey, guys. I'm Dennis' wife, Molly.
Shawn Spencer : That was the creepiest 'very' that I've ever heard.
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Dennis Gogolack : The worst is when I'm around Molly's fiends' husbands. I have to say inane stuff like, 'Beer me,' or 'Yeah, I'd totally hit that.' What exactly am I hitting?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Most likely an attractive lady.
Dennis Gogolack : Okay, that's horrible.
Shawn Spencer : Is it really worth it, Den?
Dennis Gogolack : Have you seen my wife?
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Shawn Spencer : Are you mocking my 'It's a clue' face?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yep.
Shawn Spencer : Do it again.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : -makes the face again...
Shawn Spencer : I don't look like that.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes, you do.
Shawn Spencer : You're a bastard.
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Shawn Spencer : Thanks, Woody. You stay creepy.
Woody the Coroner : You know I will.
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Dennis Gogolack : I'm not sure how comfortable I am hacking a poice computer.
Shawn Spencer : Relax. It's his personal one. Which reminds me, check the Internet search history.
Dennis Gogolack : Alright. Let's see. Grenadefancy.com. Squirrelassassins.com. And... That's gross.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That man needs Jesus.
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Shawn Spencer : [Shaking his body like a bobblehead] Gus, I feel like a bobblehead.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You look like an idiot.
Shawn Spencer : Come on. Try it.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm not doing that.
Shawn Spencer : Get in on it.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I don't want to.
Shawn Spencer : It's fun!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Fine. -does it...
Shawn Spencer : Dude, you look ridiculous.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : He most likely used an EMP device.
Shawn Spencer : What is that, a pregnancy test?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : No.
Shawn Spencer : Doesn't make any sense, Gus. Would you just let me tell the story?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : EMP not EPT. It produces an electrical pulse.
Shawn Spencer : Okay, you know what? There is a fine line between being knowledgeable and arrogant.
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Shawn Spencer : ...Until he came across two young go-getters, and they were on to everything.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [One of the guys cocks his gun] ... Who he then proceeded to let go because they promised not to tell a soul.
Shawn Spencer : Swore. They swore because that's-that's stronger than a promise.
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Shawn Spencer : It's okay, Dennis. You looked like a badass before you clocked yourself in the face.
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Shawn Spencer : You know what, Gus? I really don't appreciate being snickered at. Never again are we investigating something related to one of our childhood obsessions.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : But what if it's a Pop Rocks murder?
Shawn Spencer : That is the exception.
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Roy Kessler : Listen, I know it sounds nuts, but I'm telling you, I saw it with my own eyes! An alien came down and snatched a young lawyer that works at my firm. Toby Shore.
Carlton Lassiter : Mr. Kessler, no offense, but I think you're going to have a hard time finding anyone to believe a story like that.
Shawn Spencer : Was he tall and scaly, or short with a huge lollipop head?
Roy Kessler : Tall, I think.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Reptilian.
Shawn Spencer : Probably hostile. All right people, we're going to need a Speak And Spell, and seven pounds of mashed potatoes.
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Henry Spencer : You know, you two wouldn't have missed this kind of stuff if you hadn't been blinded by your childish interests.
Shawn Spencer : O.K. first of all, the only thing we were blinded by is...
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [hand gesture] Science!
Shawn Spencer : That never gets old.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nope.
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Roy Kessler : I must say, this whole experience has taught me a really important lesson when it comes to some of the crazy stuff that I often see.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : There's an explanation for everything?
Roy Kessler : No. It's that the eyes never lie. Did I ever tell you guys I once saw Bigfoot?
Shawn Spencer : What?
Roy Kessler : Oh, you think I'm nuts, dont'cha?
Dennis Gogolack : Male or female?
Shawn Spencer : Was he driving a school bus?
Roy Kessler : No...
[Molly walks in]
