- Shawn Spencer: Looks like the software business has been good to you, Dennis.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: [Upon seeing Dennis' wife walks down the steps in a bikini] Very good.
- Molly Gogolack: Oh, hey, guys. I'm Dennis' wife, Molly.
- Shawn Spencer: That was the creepiest 'very' that I've ever heard.
- Dennis Gogolack: The worst is when I'm around Molly's fiends' husbands. I have to say inane stuff like, 'Beer me,' or 'Yeah, I'd totally hit that.' What exactly am I hitting?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Most likely an attractive lady.
- Dennis Gogolack: Okay, that's horrible.
- Shawn Spencer: Is it really worth it, Den?
- Dennis Gogolack: Have you seen my wife?
- Shawn Spencer: Are you mocking my 'It's a clue' face?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Yep.
- Shawn Spencer: Do it again.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: -makes the face again...
- Shawn Spencer: I don't look like that.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Yes, you do.
- Shawn Spencer: You're a bastard.
- Dennis Gogolack: I'm not sure how comfortable I am hacking a poice computer.
- Shawn Spencer: Relax. It's his personal one. Which reminds me, check the Internet search history.
- Dennis Gogolack: Alright. Let's see. Grenadefancy.com. Squirrelassassins.com. And... That's gross.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: That man needs Jesus.
- Shawn Spencer: [Shaking his body like a bobblehead] Gus, I feel like a bobblehead.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: You look like an idiot.
- Shawn Spencer: Come on. Try it.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm not doing that.
- Shawn Spencer: Get in on it.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: I don't want to.
- Shawn Spencer: It's fun!
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Fine. -does it...
- Shawn Spencer: Dude, you look ridiculous.
- Juliet O'Hara: Aren't you forgetting something?
- Carlton Lassiter: No.
- Henry Spencer: Hey!Hey!
- [Henry tries to open the locked door]
- Carlton Lassiter: Chief said we were supposed to let him drive around with us, let him get to know our process. We are not currently driving.
- Juliet O'Hara: You need to stop taking your frustration with Shawn out on Henry.
- Carlton Lassiter: Better him than the neighbor's cat
- [Lassiter reluntantly walks over to open the door for Henry]
- Henry Spencer: I coulda suffocated in there!
- Carlton Lassiter: Please I cracked the window.
- Henry Spencer: I'm glad that Shawn peanut buttered your phone the other day.
- Carlton Lassiter: I knew that was him.
- Juliet O'Hara: GUYS!
- Carlton Lassiter: I still have jiff in my ear.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: He most likely used an EMP device.
- Shawn Spencer: What is that, a pregnancy test?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: No.
- Shawn Spencer: Doesn't make any sense, Gus. Would you just let me tell the story?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: EMP not EPT. It produces an electrical pulse.
- Shawn Spencer: Okay, you know what? There is a fine line between being knowledgeable and arrogant.
- Shawn Spencer: ...Until he came across two young go-getters, and they were on to everything.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: [One of the guys cocks his gun] ... Who he then proceeded to let go because they promised not to tell a soul.
- Shawn Spencer: Swore. They swore because that's-that's stronger than a promise.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: He's right. It's time for you to come out of the nerd closet.
- Dennis Gogolack: I'm sorry, guys, I just can't. I really like having sex with my wife.
- Shawn Spencer: You know what, Gus? I really don't appreciate being snickered at. Never again are we investigating something related to one of our childhood obsessions.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: But what if it's a Pop Rocks murder?
- Shawn Spencer: That is the exception.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: [after Dennis' wife confesses she's a nerd, too] She just got even hotter. What?
- Roy Kessler: Listen, I know it sounds nuts, but I'm telling you, I saw it with my own eyes! An alien came down and snatched a young lawyer that works at my firm. Toby Shore.
- Carlton Lassiter: Mr. Kessler, no offense, but I think you're going to have a hard time finding anyone to believe a story like that.
- Shawn Spencer: Was he tall and scaly, or short with a huge lollipop head?
- Roy Kessler: Tall, I think.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Reptilian.
- Shawn Spencer: Probably hostile. All right people, we're going to need a Speak And Spell, and seven pounds of mashed potatoes.
- Henry Spencer: You know, you two wouldn't have missed this kind of stuff if you hadn't been blinded by your childish interests.
- Shawn Spencer: O.K. first of all, the only thing we were blinded by is...
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: [hand gesture] Science!
- Shawn Spencer: That never gets old.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Nope.
- Dennis Gogolack: [Looking at Shawn] Why did he just tilt his head and squint?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: It's his "I've got a clue" face.
- Woody the Coroner: The object was a flash drive.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Now, when you say "Flash drive," is that coroner code for an alien embryo that hatches in people's ear?
- Woody the Coroner: No, that's the word "Starfish." This was a legitimate four gigabyte flash drive.
- Roy Kessler: I must say, this whole experience has taught me a really important lesson when it comes to some of the crazy stuff that I often see.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: There's an explanation for everything?
- Roy Kessler: No. It's that the eyes never lie. Did I ever tell you guys I once saw Bigfoot?
- Shawn Spencer: What?
- Roy Kessler: Oh, you think I'm nuts, dont'cha?
- Dennis Gogolack: Male or female?
- Shawn Spencer: Was he driving a school bus?
- Roy Kessler: No...
- [Molly walks in]