Ezra Miller: Patrick
Photos
Quotes
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Patrick : I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room on the lips. And notice I charitably said girl and not person because let's face it, I'd smoke all you bitches.
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Patrick : Hey, everyone! Every body! Everyone, raise your glasses to Charlie.
Charlie : What did I do?
Patrick : You didn't do anything. We just want to toast to our new friend. You see things and you understand. You're a wallflower.
[Charlie gets embarrassed]
Patrick : What is it? What's wrong?
Charlie : I didn't think anyone noticed me.
Patrick : Well we didn't think there was anyone cool left to meet! So come on everyone. To Charlie!
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Mr. Callahan : Nothing, why don't you read first?
Patrick : Alright, Chapter 1: Surviving your fascist shop teacher who needs to put kids down to feel big. Oh wow! This is useful guys, we should read on!
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Mr. Callahan : [Mr. Callahan looks at Patrick's terrible attempt at the Shop class term project] You've gotta be kidding me.
Patrick : If you fail me, you get me next semester.
[cut to Patrick proudly announcing his C- in Shop]
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Patrick : I'll tell you Sam, this one is tough. I have received a harmonica, a magnetic poetry set, a book about Harvey Milk, and a mix tape with the song Asleep on it twice. I mean, I have no idea. This collection of presents is so gay that I think I must have given them to myself. Despite that distinct possibility, I'm going to have to go with... drum roll... Charlie! Obviously!
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Patrick : There's this one guy, queer as a 3 dollar bill. The guy's father doesn't know about his son. So, he comes into the basement one night when he's supposed to be out of town. Catches his son with another boy, so he starts beating him. But not like the slap kind, the real kind. And the boyfriend says, "Stop! You're killing him!" But the son just yells, "Get out!" And, eventually, the boyfriend just... did.
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Patrick : Can Charlie come out and play?
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Patrick : [after witnessing Charlie kissing Sam during a game of Truth or Dare, when he's supposed to be kissing Mary Elizabeth] Oh, that's fucked up.
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Charlie : Hey, Patrick.
Patrick : Hey! You're in my shop class, right? How's your clock coming?
Charlie : My dad's building it for me.
Patrick : Yeah. Mine looks like a boat. You wanna sit over here or are you waiting for your friends?
Charlie : No, no, no I'll sit.
Patrick : Thanks for not calling me Nothing, by the way. It's an endless nightmare. And these assholes, they actually think they're being original.
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Sam : Patrick?
Patrick : Yeah?
Sam : Who's this?
Patrick : This is...
Charlie : Charlie... Kelmeckis.
Patrick : Kelmeckis! No shit! Your sister's dating Ponytail Derek, isn't she?
Charlie : Is that what they call him?
Sam : Would you leave Ponytail Derek alone? You put the ass in class, Patrick.
Patrick : I try. Sam, I try.
Sam : It's nice to meet you, Charlie. I'm Sam.
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Mary Elizabeth : [after Charlie has handed them a bag of gifts] Wait a second, there's only Secret Santa presents. There's rules!
Patrick : Mary Elizabeth, why are you trying to EAT Christmas?
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Patrick : You gonna do anything?
Brad : What are you talking about?
Patrick : I'm talking about your pet ape just tripped me. Gonna say something?
Brad : Why would I?
Patrick : You know why.
Brad : This is pathetic, man. Your fixation on me.
Patrick : Do you want your friends to know how you got those bruises? Really?
Brad : I got jumped in a parking lot.
Patrick : Where? Schenley Park? Do you guys know about Schenley Park?
Brad : I don't know what kinda sick shit you're trying to pull, but you better walk away right now. Nothing.
Patrick : Fine. Say hi to your dad for me.
Brad : Whatever, faggot.
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Patrick : [mimicking his shop teacher] The prick punch is not a toy! I learned that back in 'Nam in '68. 'Callahan,' Sergeant said, 'you put down that prick punch and go kill some gooks!' And you know what happened? That prick punch killed my best friend in a Saigon whore house.
Mr. Callahan : I heard you were going to be in my class. Are you proud to be a senior having to take freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
Patrick : Look, my name is Patrick. Either you call me Patrick or you call me nothing.
Mr. Callahan : Okay, Nothing.
Charlie : [voice-over] I felt really bad for Patrick. He wasn't doing the impersonation to be mean or anything. He was just trying to make us freshmen feel better.
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Patrick : You know, I used to be popular before Sam got me some good music.
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Patrick : My life is officially an after school special.
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Linebacker : Hey, Nothing!
Nose Tackle : Hey, Nothing!
Patrick : Let it go! Jesus! It's an antique joke. It's over!
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Patrick : How is it that you've got meaner since becoming a buddhist?
Mary Elizabeth : Just lucky, I guess.
Patrick : No, you're doing something wrong, I think.
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Patrick : This is Charlie's first party ever. So I expect nice, meaningful, heartfelt blow jobs, from both of you.
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[trailer]
Patrick : [cheering] Be aggressive! Passive aggressive!
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Patrick : Hey, Sam.
Sam : Question. Could the bathrooms here be anymore disgusting?
Patrick : Yes, they call it the men's room.
Sam : So, I finally got a hold of Bob.
Patrick : Party tonight?
Sam : He's still trying to shag that waitress from the Olive Garden.
Patrick : Ugh, he's never tossing that salad.
