Vampires Suck (2010) User Reviews

An improvement on the previous spoofs, but not saying much

[moviewizguy · 3/10 · 10 July 2010]

Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues – all of which collide at the prom.

VAMPIRES SUCK will surprise many people because it's an improvement over the previous spoof films directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have been churning out for the past couple of years. However, that's like saying it's the better crap of all crap. The jokes still aren't funny and the filmmakers still don't realize the difference between satirizing and copying. But I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't find some good that came out of this film because there are some improvements.

First of all, the performances are great by the two leads. In her first film, Jenn Proske does a dead on impersonation of Kristen Stewart. However, it's sad to see her in this because I think she's better than this. Matt Lanter also does a great impersonation of Robert Pattinson in his "pain" look. I don't know what made Ken Jeong come aboard the film but he's basically playing the same character in THE HANGOVER. He's not in the film that much, though. Also, I think it's pretty great that Carmen Electra isn't in here and I'm sure others will agree.

The second obvious thing that stuck out to me was that the film focused on only the first two TWILIGHT films. The filmmakers finally learned that spoofing 600 movies is a bad thing. Saying that, the film still does have the many pop culture references, some too random to comment about. Fortunately, they really did tone it down quite a bit compared to the previous films where you get one every five seconds. You probably get one every five minutes here.

I also liked the fact that it looked like an actual film because if you saw MEET THE SPARTANS and DISASTER MOVIE, you'd know the films were filled with shoddy sets made up in ten minutes. In here, you might question if they stole the sets and locations from the TWILIGHT films. I don't know if this counts as something good but I really think the film manages to create a decent storyline from the first two TWILIGHT films.

Overall, the film is still bad because it's rarely funny, although I will admit I laughed at some bits that took a jab at the TWILIGHT series. If the story is better than the jokes itself, you know you got a bad comedy. It's an improvement from the last few spoof films, but that doesn't say much. I really don't recommend seeing it at all. If you must, just rent it on DVD that will inevitably come out a month after the film is released.

Further proof why Jason Friedberg and Andy Seltzer should stop making movies

[DonFishies · 2/10 · 21 August 2010]

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the single worst filmmakers currently working in the realm of mainstream cinema. This pair of writers/directors is responsible for single-handedly destroying the parody genre. I consider their third film, Meet the Spartans, to be the single worst movie of the last decade – one which gave us a dozen well known and lesser known treasures by Uwe Boll. But where Boll shows ambition and dare I say, "style", Friedberg and Seltzer exhibit laziness and a lack of purpose. These two hacks throw in dated pop culture references and steal the work of others, and seem to get away with calling it comedy.

It is funny to note then that their first movie in two years, Vampires Suck, is a parody riffing on the Twilight series. The duo gleefully crib from Twilight and New Moon, providing us with the tale of new girl Becca (Jenn Proske) who falls in love with the vampire Edward (Matt Lanter), and all the problems that come with their newfound romance.

My immediate question, before even beginning to try and discuss this waste of time, is why did Friedberg and Seltzer ever think it was a good idea to make a parody of the Twilight series? The films are unintentionally hilarious as it is. And True Blood has been on for three seasons now, and for all intents and purposes, it is merely a darkly satirical and much more adult version of Twilight. So right off the bat, these two brilliant minds are mining at something that has already been done. I guess it was money, but who would knowingly believe Twilight fans would rush out to see a movie bashing their beloved franchise much less the haters who would not be caught dead seeing the film as it is?

It just seems overly baffling to me, what could possibly have made anyone think this film is a good idea. It recycles the unintentional jokes from the series, and packages them in a way that either rips them off lightly or just come off as not being anywhere near as funny as they were before. I chuckled at a few parts here and there, but they were only mild chuckles. There is nothing inherently funny or stands out as being hilarious at any given point in the film. Perhaps Friedberg and Seltzer are laughing – but no one else is laughing with them. I had the good fortune of not having to see this movie in a theatre, but I can imagine the film's showings are silent enough that the filmgoers can hear the projector whirling more than they can hear anyone laughing.

I will give credit however in the fact that unlike their previous atrocities and crimes against cinema-goers all over the world, Vampires Suck does not deviate from its riffing of the Twilight. Characters still make dated pop culture references (is anyone in five years even going to remember The Kardashians? I barely know who they are now), but no one from other films is just thrown into the film at random. The film never stops to suddenly jump into making fun of another film or franchise (outside of a total throwaway blink-and-you-will-miss-it gag involving Alice from Alice in Wonderland). It stays consistent throughout, and to me, suggests a minor development of maturity on the parts of the filmmakers. Or of course, they realized there was nowhere they could possibly throw someone like Justin Bieber or Cobb from Inception, and not confuse the audience even more than they like already are.

But this consistency comes with a price. Instead of whipping by, the film runs at an incredibly slow pace. I fell asleep twice, and somehow barely missed anything. They do a fairly nifty job of condensing the first two films, but it seems like they did not do nearly enough editing and whittling down. The film easily could have felt a lot faster paced, but it stalls a bit too much in almost every scene. And for a film that runs less than eighty minutes, it speaks a lot for what these two filmmakers were trying to accomplish or even what they wanted to show. If they cannot answer that simple question to the filmgoing public, then what is the point of even making movies in the first place?

You will need to sift through the increasing amount of junk and waste in Vampires Suck, but Proske is actually fairly good in her role (her acting debut, sadly). She has the Kristen Stewart impression and mannerisms down perfectly, and she almost came off as a better Bella than Stewart ever has. She also has a commanding aura about her, which suggests she is in store for much greater work in the future. As long as she runs away from everyone involved here, I am sure she can prove this soon enough. Unlike her, no one else even remotely stands out or is even half decent in the cast (Ken Jeong and Diedrich Bader go to complete waste in supporting roles). They all just go through the motions, and are just as lazy and half-assed as everyone else. But then, why should they bother if the filmmakers do not even try?

Despite being a lot more balanced than any of their brethren, Vampires Suck is still an awful and truly unfunny film that only further proves the point that Friedberg and Seltzer need to stop making movies. Even with a great lead, they still manage to botch the making of this film and still suffer from many of the problems their earlier films were plagued by. Years from now, will anyone even remember these films? Better yet, will anyone want to remember these films?

2/10.

(This review also appeared on http://www.geekspeakmagazine.com).

Has potential, but fell through

[sonicingandentering · 4/10 · 17 August 2010]

Vampires Suck! is the latest film from those who brought you the Scary Movie series. That being said, I already had fairly low expectations. If you absolutely despise Twilight, like I do, you will probably find this laughable, like I did. In the movie by itself, there were a few jokes that gave chuckles, but very few. Now as a spoof of Twilight, this did quite well. I have had the painful memories of having to actually watch those "films," and of the events that happen in the first two, Vampires Suck went over nearly all of them and exposed the ridiculousness of them. This is really the only redeeming factor that Vampires Suck! has. All in all, give it a try if you hate Twilight, otherwise, stay far away. Don't even rent it.

A B Movie. A Twilight spoof, good for seeing with a crowd.

[bebromana · 5/10 · 28 October 2018]

I saw this movie at a Halloween Party. By no means is this movie great art, but those of us watching had a few good laughs at this skewering of the Twilight saga. Pretty good performances from the leads. I thought the actress playing Becca was particularly good. Great Bella Swan impersonation. The script and production values were definitely B movie level. As long as you're not expecting too much, this is a light, frothy movie to see with your friends on Halloween. It's a bit like reading a trashy novel at the beach.

'Vampires Suck' ... SUCKED!

[xHeffalump · 1/10 · 13 July 2010]

So far, the Twilight films have been extremely disappointing and they have all received pretty low ratings from me. I decided to check out Vampires Suck, thinking it would be a good laugh. Unfortunately, I could count the amount of times I laughed on one hand.

The film was full of cheap gimmicks, badly written lines that were not even close to being funny and actually, much like the Twilight films themselves, terribly structured with mass chunks of uneventful time filling.

The lead actress is a fantastic Kristen Stewart impersonator - literally every twitch, facial expression and bodily movement is spot-on. Even her voice is extremely similar! Having never seen her in anything else however, it remains to be seen how far her acting skills actually stretch.

There is really nothing much to comment on, simply because there was nothing in the film that was really worth noting. Don't bother seeing this one - simply AWFUL!

It had a few one liners that made me chuckle, but that was it

[Gordon-11 · 22 August 2010]

This film is about a girl who moves into a village that is rampant with vampires. She falls in love with a vampire but she got dumped before the prom.

Seriously, what is the point of making "Vampire Sucks"? It's like remaking two films into one, but in a really bad way. The supposed spoofs are not even spoofs, but are just re-enactment of scenes from "Twilight" and "New Moon". The story is an amalgamation of the two films, but it is fragmented and incoherent. Most of the so called jokes are silly and simply ridiculous. There were a few one liners that made me chuckle, but most of the jokes were not funny.

Whatever you do, just don't pay to watch this.

I felt like I was sitting through the first two twilight films again but with more CRAP added in

[Princess_Nuala23 · 1/10 · 11 July 2010]

Okay, here's my review It was basically the EXACT SAME TWILIGHT MOVIES only condensed into an hour + 20 and with a bunch of LAME jokes (celebrity references, pop culture references, fart jokes, unfunny sex jokes) and really it didn't seem to make fun of twilight the only thing that really made fun of it was how "Becca" acted just like Kristin Stewart and Jacob "contract" line and then the ending. The ending was so stupid. Instead of italy they're at a prom and Ed+Bella get engaged and he "supposedly" turns her into a vampire but then edward is killed by a buncha Jacob fans and the movie ends.

So, I really can't compare it to the others, it felt like THE EXACT SAME THING as twilight with the SAME camera angles and SAME music only with Aaron/Jason unfunny humor. Not ONCE did I laugh, but nor did I laugh with any of their other films.

final verdict, not sure what rating to give this, it just felt like a very long youtube video (Ive seen better actually) and it looks like twilight fans are actually gonna enjoy it more than non-twilight fans, so sorry.

I had the unfortunate pleasure if seeing this early...

[StephenReviews · 1/10 · 17 July 2010]

...thankfully for free. This movie is BAAAD! They even had the guts to show all the "highlights" (if there were any) in the trailer. Don't be fooled by the name, this is one of those "Movie" movies (Disaster Movie, Epic Movie)! They clearly changed the name because the series got a bad name from being name some of the worst movies of all time.

Now, on to the movie. I didn't laugh. There's no original story. There really is nothing more you can say about this. It's just bad. Really, really bad. There is no acting, they just said what they were told to say.

You honestly have to have to sense of humor of a 7 year old to find this rubbish funny. One other thing that really bugged me was the stock sound effects like the "Howie" scream and the Woman scream, both of which are burned into the brain of movie lovers and whenever one hears one, it feels like salt on an open wound.

Don't watch this movie. It's so, so bad. I'm honestly speechless that it's so popular at the moment. It's just so hard to describe how bad. Maybe if someone made you eat some really gone off eggs again and again, that might just come close to how bad this is.

A Nutshell Review: Vampires Suck

[DICK STEEL · 1/10 · 4 September 2010]

I wouldn't have watched this if not for a friend who wanted to catch a comedy together, though I must admit I'm still pretty intrigued and amazed at how writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer managed to continue get money thrown at them to make terrible, unfunny comedies such as sub par works like Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, Epic Movie and Date Movie, the last which to me was mildly amusing. Gone are the days of the Zucker brothers, and now we're stuck with low-brow efforts like what Friedberg and Seltzer continuously dish out, setting their sights at whatever's popular genre at the moment.

And that of course is the phenomenon we call Twilight, where it's already three films old, and taking its cue from the Harry Potter franchise, decided to split its last book into two films, done squarely for profits. Poking fun at something popular is expected, but to do so in the Friedberg-Seltzer fashion just reeks of desperation. They seem to throw anything and everything into the film, without even due consideration if it's funny, or not. There are plenty of sight gags, innuendos, and just plain badly designed scenes that don't flow from one to another, making it look like a series of school children skits that got strung together, hammering wooden pegs into rounded holes, and jokes that's 99% bad, you'll find more pleasure from experiencing long nails clawed against a chalkboard.

Even more curious is the demographics out to support / watch this film. As I was understandably surrounded by women of all ages who turn out in droves to watch the Twilight movies, I was again equally surrounded by the same demographics for this one in a near full house. Clearly, I don't think they're that vacuous to, for a moment, think that their highly anticipated sequel film had arrived, or even remotely suspect that this is a companion film. I suspect though that for all the spoof movies out there, there's always a great chance that the impersonators of their favourite yummy characters will look equally yummy. Sorry to burst your bubble, but Matt Lanter as Edward Sullen is miles away from Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen even though both cannot act, and Chris Riggi as Jacob White is not Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black even though both share equal number of pronounced abs (hmm... maybe this could be a reason, Team Jacob was actually out supporting this?).

The only thing that was the rare shining light in this film, happens to be Jenn Proske as Becca Crane, who did an awesome job impersonating how Kristen Stewart would play Bella Swan, down to all the subtle nuances that if Stewart decides to leave her role, then the Twilight producers can plonk Proske right in. It's really uncanny watching her ham up the Bella spoof, but do note that I'm not praising her performance either as she's just carbon-copying what another actress had done, although pitch perfect.

I did laugh out loud here and there, but it's laughing at the film in how it got away with the stupidest of jokes and the absurdity at who this project could have been green lit by a Hollywood studio (says a lot, doesn't it?) I hope Friedberg and Seltzer either learn from the best in the comedic business, or quit filmmaking altogether. Vampires Suck sucks. Period. And I'm just feeling dirty having to recount what I had watched, and to craft a review for it.

As "Comic Book Guy" Would Say:

[sieb66 · 1/10 · 27 August 2010]

"Worst... Movie... Ever!" This one makes "Meet the Spartans" look like frikkin' Ben Hurr.

I always felt like having a good sense of humour (even in those "crappy" films I can trap myself having a giggle or even laugh, out of "place-exchanging shame"), but this was just sad and painful. Laugh-count: 0 (with a capital "Z")

And keep in mind that my expectations couldn't have been lower to begin with. But sometimes I can amuse myself with a terribly bad film. In this case curiosity, DID kill the cat!

Oh... Wait! Come to think of it, I stand corrected: I find Segways pretty ridiculous and funny just by plainly looking at it, ...so make it a half a giggle.

Avoid!

Epic Fail

[h_wilson92 · 1/10 · 23 August 2010]

I have no idea why I went to see this movie when the makers of this movie Friedberg and Seltzer keep making awful movies.I think the reason is because i wanted to give them a chance but this movie was an epic fail.One thing I realized is that Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie are both in the IMDb bottom 100 and I wont be surprised if this one makes the cut to the bottom 100.The only scene I liked was the BEP part and thats all.I feel like I got ripped off.It was so lame! Vampires Suck achieved its goal when you read the title - it sucked! I am a Twilight fan(but not a huge fan) and I don't think they even watched the Twilight movies.This movie is a good way to cash in the money from the Twilight haters.I reckon that Friedberg and Seltzer make much worser movies each time.I really wanted to give this 0 stars out of 10 but that isn't possible.So I think i am being generous with the 1 star rating.Don't see this movie you will truly regret it.By far the worst movie of 2010.

1/10 is my rating

Giving "Twilight" the treatment it deserved!!!

[davewriter2003 · 9/10 · 31 October 2010]

Normally, I don't review movies on here, but when I read everyone else slamming this movie, I thought maybe they should get the perspective of someone who enjoyed it.

As a non-Twilight fan (haven't read the books and don't wish to for reasons to numerous to mention), I was determined to see this movie at the time when I wanted to tease a Twi-hard that I personally got to know from my disability social group about it. She refused to see this movie simply because they make fun of Twilight and Buffy, which motivated me even further.

First off, yes, there were a lot of corny sex jokes, fart jokes, pop culture and celebrity references that many reviewers said wore out their welcome with projects like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. That may be true, but think about this for a minute. We are talking about a franchise that has spent 500 or so pages going on and on about Edward Cullen's "great" looks, using every descriptive synonym known to man, resulting in the most annoying teenyboppers since Benji and Joel Madden put the oh-so-overrated Good Charlotte on the music map, them and the Jonas Brothers. Ask anyone who has hated the Twilight series from the start, or started to hate it once they got through their Twilight-gushing phase (in other words, they grew up and developed literary taste!) Neither the books nor the movies deserve even a quarter of the recognition they got, because all the people behind it want you to focus on is how a naive, despairing, depressed girl who doesn't know what she wants getting into a love triangle with a fairy vampire and a werewolf. That and how gorgeous Robert Pattinson looks in his sparkles and pale makeup, and the same with Taylor Lautner in his shirtless scenes. The result: hordes of groupie girls going so far as to unrealistically want to have Edward Cullen and Jacob Black's children, despite the fact they are fictional characters. It's ridiculous and absurd, to say the least!

This is why "Vampires Suck" can be halfway appreciated. You can easily laugh at the jokes in this movie because even those who hated it know that this highly overrated saga had this coming all along. And for the aforementioned crimes that this literary atrocity committed, the Twilight saga got the bashing and ridicule it so richly deserved.

So if you disliked it the first time because it made you think of the unfunny torture you experienced after flops like the Scary Movie franchise after the first movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and so on, I challenge you to watch this again when it comes out on DVD, and think about what the "Twilight" saga has done to the worlds of both literature and cinema. I guarantee you'll developa new appreciation for this particular one.

I'm not proud of it, but this movie made me laugh

[cricketbat · 6/10 · 31 December 2018]

Maybe it's just because my expectations were so low, but I didn't hate Vampires Suck. In fact, I found myself laughing more than I thought I would. Jenn Proske nails the awkward, mumbling performance of Kristen Stewart and the pot shots at the Twilight franchise feel absolutely justified. It's a completely stupid parody and only a fraction of the jokes land, but, as strange as it sounds, I liked this movie.

seriously a big fail and made respect the real movies twilight

[captivatingobsession · 1/10 · 23 August 2010]

seriously awful movie thought the main actress doing Bella is really great honestly but the movie sucks big time and failed to make me laugh but in one particular scene i don't even know why but i felt like really embarrassed while watching and seriously they made me respect the twilight movies a lot better cause they prove that there can be worse than twilight

i remember me an my mom watching scary movies and laughing our guts out without losing respect of the actors or movie ,but i just couldn't even finish vampire sucks cause it was pretty lame and even not that funny BASICALLY a waste of time people

It ain't That Bad

[shadowbender626 · 2 June 2020]

Although I haven't watched "Twilight", I found this movie to be fairly amuzing. People might enjoy it if they don't take it too seriously. I even thought it would suck at first, but I don't regret watching it. My advice: Don't put too much thought into it, just enjoy the little and simple things. Jenn Proske just nailed her role, amazing acting.

Improved... But Still Awful

[DanBalhatchet · 4/10 · 10 July 2010]

From the writers & directors of Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans & Date Movie comes another spoof film, which isn't... quite... as bad as the others.

The jokes are still dreadful, but this film can at least be credited for having a story line, and some relatively amusing lines. Such as "You know who we are"... "Yeah, you're the Black Eyed Peas!".

But everything funny in this film is shown in the trailer, and it's really not worth watching. There are some promising acting performances though, including a good film debut for the girl (sorry, I have know idea what her name is) who plays Becca.

It's a step in the right direction, but still nothing on Airplane, Naked Gun, Scary Movie 1-4 or Superhero Movie.

4/10

Worse Than Twilight

[Jerique · 1/10 · 25 August 2010]

Could there be anything worse than Twilight? Yes! It's called Vampires Suck. At least with Twilight, pre-teen girls and some feminine boys can enjoy the cheap thrills and adolescent romance of Bella and Edward, but what makes Vampires Suck horrible is that they didn't even do a good job of making fun of Twilight. When you fail to make fun of the movie you're parodying, you really fail as a filmmaker.

I couldn't stand any part of this film. Jason and Aaron didn't go the usual route and use the same joke for the entire movie, but they did use the same plot and mix in pop culture references to Lindsay Lohan, Taylor Swift, and a few more. They insulted (not making fun, purely insulted) Canadians a couple times, and really only made fun of Twilight. Which begs the question, "why not call it Twilight Sucks?" In that sense, it would be more of a correct title, because Vampire movies are awesome. Blade, Interview with the Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula and more are just some awesome Vampire movies. I realize the title is a word play and a pun that Vampires suck blood, but it's more accurate to say Twilight Sucks because only Twilight is made fun of really.

Even with all the stupid jokes, it never gave me a genuine funny moment. I only laughed because the rest of the audience was laughing and it was contagious. Clearly, Jason and Aaron need to stop making movies because everything after Scary Movie has been atrocious when they work on the project as a team solely.

I would advise you to not even go see this but, haters of Twilight, lovers of Twilight, the lovers of these "parody" movies are still going to see it (since last night's showing was completely sold out) so nothing is going to stop these movies from being made. I can say proudly that I didn't pay to see this film, thank God. I would have wanted a refund for the brain cells I've seem to have lost by sitting through it.

It's amazing that a film can have this many jokes...yet none of them are funny.

[planktonrules · 1/10 · 24 February 2019]

In IMDB's infamous Bottom 100 list, there are many movies like "Vampire Suck". "Disaster Movie", "Epic Movie", "Date Movie", "Starving Games", Scary Movie 5" and "Fifty Shades of Black" are all essentially the same film. They all provide bad jokes in rapid-fire manner. So, when one unfunny joke falls flat, they then go on to the next unfunny joke...and along the way make LOTS of unwanted references to pop culture. I have no idea why they make them and I wonder who would pay to go see them....especially as they have a reputation of being terrible. Is "Vampires Suck" just as bad as the rest...most likely yes, as it's #44 on the list. I have made it a goal to see all the Bottom 100 and, fortunately, this is the last of these dreadful parody films I have to see. And, like the rest, I did not see them in a theater...I am not THAT desperate to see the Bottom 100!

This film primarily is focused on making fun of the "Twilight" movie franchise...which should be easy and fun. Unfortunately, it really isn't...and you can only assume that lemurs made this movie. It's unfunny from start to finish and occasionally is very distasteful...though less than most of these sorts of films.

So did I enjoy any of it? Not much...and that came as no surprise. Unlike older comedies like "Airplane" or "Hot Shots", which had rapdi-fire jokes that actually worked, this one is as artless and dull as the rest of the recent pile of crap that studios are making for particularly undemanding young adults. Anyone over about 20 would find the films dopey....and I felt myself getting stupider the more I watched. Sadly, the film DID make money...so I assume they'll keep making more like it.

painful

[rtc4023 · 1/10 · 14 October 2010]

this movie was terrible.the unfunniest childish spoof movie i have ever seen.i feel sorry for the movie industry releasing this rubbish to the paying public.it was so bad it just came annoying after a while.I'm not a lover of the twilight movies myself,but breaking it up into a spoof movie just didn't work on every level.the movie fell on its knees from the opening titles.most people have seen the twilight movies so i don't need to go into detail and tell you this movie was trying to rip it to pieces and trying to be funny at the same time oops.nothing worked the one liners the jokes the gimmicky actors all fell dead.it was that bad it was embarrassing.even a prisoner on death row banged up 24/7 given a chance to watch this movie would run a mile.stay away from this movie at all costs people

And so does this movie...

[gregking4 · 1/10 · 27 August 2010]

Vampires suck! And so does this movie! The writing and directing team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have produced a number of witless genre parodies that skewer clichés and familiar characters. Their previous films have included Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Meet The Spartans. They faithfully follow a formula that has grown stale and lazy. But their latest parody is, arguably, the nadir of these inexplicably popular genre spoofs to date. It's difficult to recall the time when the pair contributed to the very funny Scary Movie franchise! Vampires Suck is a witless, unfunny, uninspired and laboured reworking of the whole trendy vampire milieu. In particular though the pair take a chainsaw to the successful Twilight franchise and its central characters. The film explores the overwrought and unrequited teenage romance between Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske), the moody, misunderstood, unsociable and lonely new girl in town, and the mysterious but handsome vampire Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter, who provided the voice for Anakin Skywalker in the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars series). It's an ill-fated romance destined to launch four novels and an incredibly lucrative and successful movie franchise. But the setups are predictable and obvious, and the payoffs fall terribly flat. Friedberg and Seltzer mainly rework the essential plot of Twilight, but the pair also include a number of pop cultural references about the Kardashians and Lindsay Lohan, fart jokes, a strong homoerotic subtext, and some ribald humour. There are also fleeting references to a number of other films, including Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, Beverly Hills chihuahua, and the classic Carrie. Unfortunately there is nothing funny here, and even the preview audience failed to laugh. Most of these films have a fair ratio of gags that miss the mark, but here nearly every single joke falls flat. Friedberg and Seltzer's direction lacks subtlety. The largely unknown cast is merely going through the motions here, and it's almost as if they realise that the material is inferior. Making her film debut, Proske is a fine match for Kristen Stewart's moody mannerisms. As the werewolf Jacob, Chris Riggi whips his shirt off at every opportunity, because "it's in my contract!" And although Diedrich Bader (from The Drew Carey Show, and the feature film adaptation of The Beverly Hillbillies, etc) has appeared in a couple of other films from the pair and has a good sense of comic timing, even he seems to know that the script is substandard. His performance seems rather tired. Even the most easily pleased of audiences who have sat through the pair's previous patchy efforts will find themselves quickly bored and disappointed here. And even at a reasonably brief 80 minutes, the film drags and seems too long.

This Movie Sucked More Than the Vampires.

[lollipopqueen10 · 1/10 · 7 September 2010]

Wow, this movie was really dumb. I saw it at a local theater in which tickets cost $5 on Mondays, and I'm sorry I wasted what few dollars I spent. There were probably, 6 funny parts in the entire movie, 4 of which were in the movie trailers. Most of the "humor" was very crude, and had to do with body parts (personal) or ripping limbs off each other. And, they played up certain "funny parts" over and over again until you were sick of seeing it. The film makers could have done so much more with this. Now, you can expect spoofs to be dumb, which this was, but I feel the actual Twilight movies were funnier than this spoof.

Nice 'Twilight' parody movie xD

[TheNonSmoker · 10/10 · 12 September 2020]

Better than the actual Twilight and all its sequel ✌🏽😂

Apparently a lot of people have no sense of humor.

[rutaguer-06355 · 6/10 · 13 March 2020]

Schlocky? Yes. Dumb? Yes. Funny? Yes. Too many Twilight fans have no sense of parody. Watch and laugh.

What is the difference between terrible and horrible?

[jnelson-iaha · 1/10 · 21 October 2010]

This movie. I almost cried after seeing Vampires Suck, because I wasted my money on what has to be the Worst movie ever made. Who ever decided to put this in theaters should be forced to give refunds. Or better yet they should have payed us to watch it.

Don't waste any money or precious time out of your life on this. It f'd up our whole night and we were having a beautiful day prior to watching that BS.

It was not funny and kind of like watching a cracked out version of the twilight movies with a not so amusing clown. I hope that I haven't said anything spiteful. The movie at hand gives insult to injury... to all viewers.

The movie title is a spoiler and a warning that inadvertently speaks for itself. It Sucks with a spot of vampires on the side. No one could possibly spoil this movie. It was rotten from the start.